it's miserable and magical

REP ERA MV + COLOR PALETTE:

While I have had time to think, I was moved to write about how life really is behind those who were struggling before the coronavirus. Please take 5 minutes to read this.

For the longest time I avoided seeking any sort of help, I thought I was strong enough to provide for myself and my family in a country that was hit by the largest economic collapse in its history, a result of economic mismanagement by an illegitimate tyrant who brutalizes his people. I was wrong.

I am left with nothing, and it’s so embarrassing to confess my reality. I was scared to be judged for my lifestyle, I hid my face so anybody would come close to me and see how broken I was inside. In the mids of all, I found myself living a silent hell, there are no enough words that could voice my despair. If anybody asked me right now to describe how living in Venezuela is like, I couldn’t find the right words to use to exemplify the complexity of living under authoritarianism and a country plagued by criminality and corruption, where dark nights turned to weeks due to the lack of electrical power, where you vividly watch your dreams disappear into the thick air, where you spend your sleepless nights crying and reliving the agonizing face of your loved ones before they put their bodies to rest forever because of the country’s collapsed hospital system, where you can’t remember the last time you had at least three full meals to satisfy your empty stomach

So I started to live in a reality that was not mine, a reality that I created to feed my hungry spirit, a reality that was fueled by stress, fears, illness, and pain. I created a reality where I wasn’t scared to go to a park, a reality where I was able to enjoy normal things in life like eating ice cream, where I pursued a dream, where I had a job, where I had enough food in my house that I didn’t have to worry, where I had a healthy body, where I didn’t cry every night for intensive body pains, where I had a normal life.

I tried my hardest to live up to my expectations, I looked for any opportunity to overcome my challenges, I suffer from chronic asthma that can’t be treated because I either eat or die. I never dared to tell someone that I spent months only eating once a day because I was embarrassed, I didn’t want anyone to find out that I had absolutely nothing to eat and my body was claiming food. How do you survive earning not more than $ 20 in a month? I can’t buy myself anything, I can’t enjoy a movie, I don’t even own a cellphone or a pair of jeans that fit me, I eat only pasta once a day. It is hard to believe someone lives with so little, one may think it’s unrealistic, but that is my life.

But what happens when you can’t get those $10 or $20 you had to survive a month due to everything that is going on with the covid19? Even before the pandemic began, Venezuela struggled to provide health care to its citizens; and as the virus spread, this tyrant restricted and imposed a nationwide quarantine and curfew filled with terrorism where no one can leave their houses unless you want to be arrested. And using the coronavirus as an excuse to further entrench themselves into the government. As everyone around the world started expressing how they felt being under lockdown, I couldn’t stop thinking about how that has been my life for years, and how I learned to normalize having a poor life locked up inside my house waiting for a miracle. I know we’re all affected by the coronavirus, trust me I am aware of the damage, but I’m also afraid that if my life was in shambles before the virus struck, how me and my family are going to recover from this? 

If you made it until this point, I’d really kill to eat a sandwich.

While I have had time to think, I was moved to write about how life really is behind those who were struggling before the coronavirus. Please take 5 minutes to read this.

For the longest time I avoided seeking any sort of help, I thought I was strong enough to provide for myself and my family in a country that was hit by the largest economic collapse in its history, a result of economic mismanagement by an illegitimate tyrant who brutalizes his people. I was wrong.

I am left with nothing, and it’s so embarrassing to confess my reality. I was scared to be judged for my lifestyle, I hid my face so anybody would come close to me and see how broken I was inside. In the mids of all, I found myself living a silent hell, there are no enough words that could voice my despair. If anybody asked me right now to describe how living in Venezuela is like, I couldn’t find the right words to use to exemplify the complexity of living under authoritarianism and a country plagued by criminality and corruption, where dark nights turned to weeks due to the lack of electrical power, where you vividly watch your dreams disappear into the thick air, where you spend your sleepless nights crying and reliving the agonizing face of your loved ones before they put their bodies to rest forever because of the country’s collapsed hospital system, where you can’t remember the last time you had at least three full meals to satisfy your empty stomach

So I started to live in a reality that was not mine, a reality that I created to feed my hungry spirit, a reality that was fueled by stress, fears, illness, and pain. I created a reality where I wasn’t scared to go to a park, a reality where I was able to enjoy normal things in life like eating ice cream, where I pursued a dream, where I had a job, where I had enough food in my house that I didn’t have to worry, where I had a healthy body, where I didn’t cry every night for intensive body pains, where I had a normal life.

I tried my hardest to live up to my expectations, I looked for any opportunity to overcome my challenges, I suffer from chronic asthma that can’t be treated because I either eat or die. I never dared to tell someone that I spent months only eating once a day because I was embarrassed, I didn’t want anyone to find out that I had absolutely nothing to eat and my body was claiming food. How do you survive earning not more than $ 20 in a month? I can’t buy myself anything, I can’t enjoy a movie, I don’t even own a cellphone or a pair of jeans that fit me, I eat only pasta once a day. It is hard to believe someone lives with so little, one may think it’s unrealistic, but that is my life.

But what happens when you can’t get those $10 or $20 you had to survive a month due to everything that is going on with the covid19? Even before the pandemic began, Venezuela struggled to provide health care to its citizens; and as the virus spread, this tyrant restricted and imposed a nationwide quarantine and curfew filled with terrorism where no one can leave their houses unless you want to be arrested. And using the coronavirus as an excuse to further entrench themselves into the government. As everyone around the world started expressing how they felt being under lockdown, I couldn’t stop thinking about how that has been my life for years, and how I learned to normalize having a poor life locked up inside my house waiting for a miracle. I know we’re all affected by the coronavirus, trust me I am aware of the damage, but I’m also afraid that if my life was in shambles before the virus struck, how me and my family are going to recover from this? 

If you made it until this point, I’d really kill to eat a sandwich.

I love you so much and I was wondering if you could spare 5 minutes to read this… it is really important please.. 

I just want to let you know how much I love you, I’ve been on your side for as long as I can remember even in the poorest and most devastating circumstances I live in, and with the only $10 I earn in a whole month, and in the most humble way I possibly can, I support you all the way from Venezuela, a country with the highest inflation in the world. I have never done nor said this because I’m not proud of where I am from, people never seem to believe us and take our situation to ridicule us, I am not sure if you have ever heard or read about our situation, where people have had to flee because we don’t even have basic supplies to survive like food, where people die every single day because we don’t have medicines or medical supplies, and it’s not because of COVID19. It is extremely shameful to turn to you in such a public way to tell you that me and my family have absolutely nothing to eat, we’re surviving with only two meals a day and we’re only left with not more than $5 we can all earn in a week to survive. I have never dared to tell you this because it may sound unrealistic or improbable, but it is real, it is my reality, I really hate to be so open and honest about my troubles with you, and I know you are a successful woman, and I admire you like you have no idea, I hope I can get as far as you one day. I also suffer from chronic asthma that has not been treated properly because I do not even have the means to go to the doctor, let alone buy the medicines, and on top of all, I am more prone to suffer the damages from the coronavirus. In these moments of so much anguish, I want you to know that I’m not writing this for self-pity, I am really really desperate, I have no one else to turn to right now, I was hesitating at first I didn’t know if it was appropriate to write you this, but I have seen what your beautiful and selfless soul is doing to the people in need during this pandemic.

 I’m not good with my words but right now me and my family really really need your help and I wish I didn’t have to ask for your help this way, I am really sorry. I know what I said it may be impossible to believe, who can live like that? but my family and I do and it is a struggle every single day. I love you so so so so much and I hope one day I can see you and meet you. You are the kindest person I have had the pleasure to know and I am proud to say I stan Taylor Swift. I support you from my twitter fan account ioverrss 

I love you so much and I was wondering if you could spare 5 minutes to read this… it is really important please.. 

I just want to let you know how much I love you, I’ve been on your side for as long as I can remember even in the poorest and most devastating circumstances I live in, and with the only $10 I earn in a whole month, and in the most humble way I possibly can, I support you all the way from Venezuela, a country with the highest inflation in the world. I have never done nor said this because I’m not proud of where I am from, people never seem to believe us and take our situation to ridicule us, I am not sure if you have ever heard or read about our situation, where people have had to flee because we don’t even have basic supplies to survive like food, where people die every single day because we don’t have medicines or medical supplies, and it’s not because of COVID19. It is extremely shameful to turn to you in such a public way to tell you that me and my family have absolutely nothing to eat, we’re surviving with only two meals a day and we’re only left with not more than $5 we can all earn in a week to survive. I have never dared to tell you this because it may sound unrealistic or improbable, but it is real, it is my reality, I really hate to be so open and honest about my troubles with you, and I know you are a successful woman, and I admire you like you have no idea, I hope I can get as far as you one day. I also suffer from chronic asthma that has not been treated properly because I do not even have the means to go to the doctor, let alone buy the medicines, and on top of all, I am more prone to suffer the damages from the coronavirus. In these moments of so much anguish, I want you to know that I’m not writing this for self-pity, I am really really desperate, I have no one else to turn to right now, I was hesitating at first I didn’t know if it was appropriate to write you this, but I have seen what your beautiful and selfless soul is doing to the people in need during this pandemic.

 I’m not good with my words but right now me and my family really really need your help and I wish I didn’t have to ask for your help this way, I am really sorry. I know what I said it may be impossible to believe, who can live like that? but my family and I do and it is a struggle every single day. I love you so so so so much and I hope one day I can see you and meet you. You are the kindest person I have had the pleasure to know and I am proud to say I stan Taylor Swift. I support you from my twitter fan account ioverrss 

I love you so much and I was wondering if you could spare 5 minutes to read this… it is really important please.. 

I just want to let you know how much I love you, I’ve been on your side for as long as I can remember even in the poorest and most devastating circumstances I live in, and with the only $10 I earn in a whole month, and in the most humble way I possibly can, I support you all the way from Venezuela, a country with the highest inflation in the world. I have never done nor said this because I’m not proud of where I am from, people never seem to believe us and take our situation to ridicule us, I am not sure if you have ever heard or read about our situation, where people have had to flee because we don’t even have basic supplies to survive like food, where people die every single day because we don’t have medicines or medical supplies, and it’s not because of COVID19. It is extremely shameful to turn to you in such a public way to tell you that me and my family have absolutely nothing to eat, we’re surviving with only two meals a day and we’re only left with not more than $5 we can all earn in a week to survive. I have never dared to tell you this because it may sound unrealistic or improbable, but it is real, it is my reality, I really hate to be so open and honest about my troubles with you, and I know you are a successful woman, and I admire you like you have no idea, I hope I can get as far as you one day. I also suffer from chronic asthma that has not been treated properly because I do not even have the means to go to the doctor, let alone buy the medicines, and on top of all, I am more prone to suffer the damages from the coronavirus. In these moments of so much anguish, I want you to know that I’m not writing this for self-pity, I am really really desperate, I have no one else to turn to right now, I was hesitating at first I didn’t know if it was appropriate to write you this, but I have seen what your beautiful and selfless soul is doing to the people in need during this pandemic.

 I’m not good with my words but right now me and my family really really need your help and I wish I didn’t have to ask for your help this way, I am really sorry. I know what I said it may be impossible to believe, who can live like that? but my family and I do and it is a struggle every single day. I love you so so so so much and I hope one day I can see you and meet you. You are the kindest person I have had the pleasure to know and I am proud to say I stan Taylor Swift. I support you from my twitter fan account ioverrss 

While I have had time to think, I was moved to write about how life really is behind those who were struggling before the coronavirus. Please take 5 minutes to read this.

For the longest time I avoided seeking any sort of help, I thought I was strong enough to provide for myself and my family in a country that was hit by the largest economic collapse in its history, a result of economic mismanagement by an illegitimate tyrant who brutalizes his people. I was wrong.

I am left with nothing, and it’s so embarrassing to confess my reality. I was scared to be judged for my lifestyle, I hid my face so anybody would come close to me and see how broken I was inside. In the mids of all, I found myself living a silent hell, there are no enough words that could voice my despair. If anybody asked me right now to describe how living in Venezuela is like, I couldn’t find the right words to use to exemplify the complexity of living under authoritarianism and a country plagued by criminality and corruption, where dark nights turned to weeks due to the lack of electrical power, where you vividly watch your dreams disappear into the thick air, where you spend your sleepless nights crying and reliving the agonizing face of your loved ones before they put their bodies to rest forever because of the country’s collapsed hospital system, where you can’t remember the last time you had at least three full meals to satisfy your empty stomach

So I started to live in a reality that was not mine, a reality that I created to feed my hungry spirit, a reality that was fueled by stress, fears, illness, and pain. I created a reality where I wasn’t scared to go to a park, a reality where I was able to enjoy normal things in life like eating ice cream, where I pursued a dream, where I had a job, where I had enough food in my house that I didn’t have to worry, where I had a healthy body, where I didn’t cry every night for intensive body pains, where I had a normal life.

I tried my hardest to live up to my expectations, I looked for any opportunity to overcome my challenges, I suffer from chronic asthma that can’t be treated because I either eat or die. I never dared to tell someone that I spent months only eating once a day because I was embarrassed, I didn’t want anyone to find out that I had absolutely nothing to eat and my body was claiming food. How do you survive earning not more than $ 20 in a month? I can’t buy myself anything, I can’t enjoy a movie, I don’t even own a cellphone or a pair of jeans that fit me, I eat only pasta once a day. It is hard to believe someone lives with so little, one may think it’s unrealistic, but that is my life.

But what happens when you can’t get those $10 or $20 you had to survive a month due to everything that is going on with the covid19? Even before the pandemic began, Venezuela struggled to provide health care to its citizens; and as the virus spread, this tyrant restricted and imposed a nationwide quarantine and curfew filled with terrorism where no one can leave their houses unless you want to be arrested. And using the coronavirus as an excuse to further entrench themselves into the government. As everyone around the world started expressing how they felt being under lockdown, I couldn’t stop thinking about how that has been my life for years, and how I learned to normalize having a poor life locked up inside my house waiting for a miracle. I know we’re all affected by the coronavirus, trust me I am aware of the damage, but I’m also afraid that if my life was in shambles before the virus struck, how me and my family are going to recover from this? 

If you made it until this point, I’d really kill to eat a sandwich.

While I have had time to think, I was moved to write about how life really is behind those who were struggling before the coronavirus. Please take 5 minutes to read this.

For the longest time I avoided seeking any sort of help, I thought I was strong enough to provide for myself and my family in a country that was hit by the largest economic collapse in its history, a result of economic mismanagement by an illegitimate tyrant who brutalizes his people. I was wrong.

I am left with nothing, and it’s so embarrassing to confess my reality. I was scared to be judged for my lifestyle, I hid my face so anybody would come close to me and see how broken I was inside. In the mids of all, I found myself living a silent hell, there are no enough words that could voice my despair. If anybody asked me right now to describe how living in Venezuela is like, I couldn’t find the right words to use to exemplify the complexity of living under authoritarianism and a country plagued by criminality and corruption, where dark nights turned to weeks due to the lack of electrical power, where you vividly watch your dreams disappear into the thick air, where you spend your sleepless nights crying and reliving the agonizing face of your loved ones before they put their bodies to rest forever because of the country’s collapsed hospital system, where you can’t remember the last time you had at least three full meals to satisfy your empty stomach

So I started to live in a reality that was not mine, a reality that I created to feed my hungry spirit, a reality that was fueled by stress, fears, illness, and pain. I created a reality where I wasn’t scared to go to a park, a reality where I was able to enjoy normal things in life like eating ice cream, where I pursued a dream, where I had a job, where I had enough food in my house that I didn’t have to worry, where I had a healthy body, where I didn’t cry every night for intensive body pains, where I had a normal life.

I tried my hardest to live up to my expectations, I looked for any opportunity to overcome my challenges, I suffer from chronic asthma that can’t be treated because I either eat or die. I never dared to tell someone that I spent months only eating once a day because I was embarrassed, I didn’t want anyone to find out that I had absolutely nothing to eat and my body was claiming food. How do you survive earning not more than $ 20 in a month? I can’t buy myself anything, I can’t enjoy a movie, I don’t even own a cellphone or a pair of jeans that fit me, I eat only pasta once a day. It is hard to believe someone lives with so little, one may think it’s unrealistic, but that is my life.

But what happens when you can’t get those $10 or $20 you had to survive a month due to everything that is going on with the covid19? Even before the pandemic began, Venezuela struggled to provide health care to its citizens; and as the virus spread, this tyrant restricted and imposed a nationwide quarantine and curfew filled with terrorism where no one can leave their houses unless you want to be arrested. And using the coronavirus as an excuse to further entrench themselves into the government. As everyone around the world started expressing how they felt being under lockdown, I couldn’t stop thinking about how that has been my life for years, and how I learned to normalize having a poor life locked up inside my house waiting for a miracle. I know we’re all affected by the coronavirus, trust me I am aware of the damage, but I’m also afraid that if my life was in shambles before the virus struck, how me and my family are going to recover from this? 

If you made it until this point, I’d really kill to eat a sandwich.