hey im moo

♡ my blog is 18+! i'm 24 and will not interact with minors here. i won't give advice/encourage negative or harmful behaviors to minors. get out while you can

♡ TW! this is an ed blog and i catalog my progress here under #moo's food diary, but i'm absolutely pro recovery (and have been in and out of recovery) and anti-fatshaming

♡ TW! i also struggle with substance abuse (mostly alcohol) so if that's a trigger for you this may not be the blog for u ngl <3 my drunk posts are under the tag #moo is drunk again

i lost my job in september and couldn't find a new one bc the job market is shit rn, my gf cheated on me by kissing a friend while visiting her hometown for christmas, i decided not to break up with her about it but said she was on thin ice, and then the ice turned out to be thicker than i thought bc i kept accepting her being kinda mean to me (she has bpd and was trying to push me away type beat), then we moved into her mom's basement (half of which is currently being renovated and will be a full apartment that we can live in soon) in the hopes that the job market would be better here and i could actually find a job, i became friends with the girl my gf cheated on me with bc she's actually chill and Didn't Know, she got me a rly good job at her workplace which i really like and am doing really well at and im making a bunch of friends there, since we moved my relationship with my gf has improved sososo much which i can get into separately tbh bc i think there's a lot to why it got better so fast, and i have employer paid healthcare so i can get back on my meds soon so im actually really happy and satisfied with my life rn?

i: answered non-rhetorically with an opinion i assume she does not share but that i believe and don't think is super far removed from her opinion

she: completely ignored what i said, being on her phone the whole time I was talking and not saying anything in response, and then we watched some of a show that she really likes

i, later: brought up that i felt ignored when she didn't respond to what i said about the comedian and his potential queerness

she: said "im sorry," but really quickly and nonspecifacally, so it felt like she was only apologizing in order to not fight about it and not because she actually felt bad about ignoring me

i: didn't let it go, and instead kept insisting that I felt ignored and that she do something different so that I wouldn't feel ignored in the future

i am kind and i believe in showing others kindness regardless of if anyone thinks they deserve it bc even if they don't currently deserve it in someone's opinion, the only thing that will show them that kindness is worth it is for them to receive forgiveness and kindness

i forgive others because i believe nearly everyone is deserving of it, but i do not forget that they did once treat me badly. i will forgive them one more time but i will not forget either time, and if i feel that they're taking advantage of my kindness i will no longer show it to them.

i expect people who I've forgiven to grow, in ways that we've talked about and in ways that they've discovered for themselves. i will lay out the ways that i expect our relationship to improve, but it's up to them to improve it.

if i don't feel treasured and valued in a relationship for a significant amount of time, i will leave it. it doesn't matter if I've previously felt treasured or valued in that relationship. if i feel like i haven't been treasured or valued for too long i will bring it up, and if things don't change then i will leave.

🤍 Lunch: Yellow tofu curry +420 cals

🤍 Dinner: Veggie stew +456 cals

🤍 Snacks, etc.: like 7 shots +700 cals

🤍 Exercise: Fitness Marshall -550 cals