senpai desu

Cheeks flushed I fumble through the door

the door to your house, the door to your heart

We both know we’re better apart but I miss you

You don’t miss me, you’re just lonely.

Tired of filling a void with late nights and shotty friends

At least I have good taste in shows.

I know where your mind goes when it’s silent.

But now the silence is uncomfortable

And my love is something you settle for

you feel the pressure of forever where I once felt it’s grace

Etchings along your skin proves strength but to whom

I hope the day comes where you’re able to push through your fears

I recently started seeing my ex again. I’ve known her for over 6 years and after playing the field this past year I’ve learned a few things about dating. The first being, love isn’t worth it if it’s not going both ways. I’m the type of person that can and will give you my all, but what I’ve learned is that it’s more of a responsibility for the other person to meet some sort of expectation. Even if I don’t set them, the other person is only going to want to reciprocate my energy and that can be a lot. I also learned that as much as I love chemistry, a relationship can have a good spark and nothing else. Isn’t that sad?

I turn 26 this month. That means I’m almost thirty. I don’t want to spend the rest of my twenties seducing women who don’t watch anime and can’t out-gun me. My mom says I should look for friends with those qualities and to not put so much pressure on dating, but I know what I want. It’s so important to know what you want and to go get it, in all aspects of life.

I think the biggest thing I learned from being completely heartbroken is that not everything goes as planned and some things aren’t meant to be. Isn’t /that/ sad? You can find peace in the truth though. In our most somber moments, you can rely on the fact that in this life you have to make the most of what you have. I don’t think that means getting back with my ex. I think that means I’m allowed to enjoy the rare moment of comfort found in her company because soon we’ll be doing different things and just like before there won’t be room for each other in our lives. Ultimately, we want different things and that’s confusing when the time spent together feels so natural.

So, I’ll keep her at arm's length just like the rest of the women I manage to seduce. I think I deserve some romance in the form of binge-watching and quality time and I know where to get it. You wouldn’t order General Tso from across town when the spot down the street always gets it right, but you also can’t eat take out for the rest of your life.

SUMMER SIXTEEN TOUR - WASHINGTON DC, VERIZON CENTER

It was breezy at dusk and the Center wasn’t even full yet. After grabbing a couple of beers, the show finally started with an ill-welcomed Roy Woods. The Ontario-OVO Sound singer sang hits like Get You Good, Gwan Big Up Yourself, and even Drama. Unfortunately, only a few people stood up and started dancing to his hits. Next, was the singer-producer sibling duo, DVSN (pronounced division). Less people were excited by the stage presence of Daniel Daley, even with a killer Aaliyah mash-up. It seemed like the entirety of the audience was saving their energy for the 6 God himself. 

You could feel the suspense in the air and hear it in the inaudible small talk when finally the lights dimmed and the stage was revealed. 

“Looking, looking looking...”, the crowd went crazy as a 808s vibrated me to my core. Drake wasted no time getting the show started with an intricate light show, fog machines, and his general stage presence. Opening with a few songs from Views, Drake reached far into the past with his song choices. While I was surrounded by people singing all the words to Crew Love, it was a bittersweet moment when I realized that So Far Gone was so far done. Nonetheless, with flashy visual and in-door fireworks the ChampagnePapi made sure his fans were gonna be up for the long haul.

Darkness. After a rollercoaster ride of emotions, he left us in darkness. Was it over? No, it was too soon. Then, a small pink beacon of hope lowered from the sky leaving it’s family behind. Timmy Thomas’, Why Can’t We Live Together started to play as Drake serenaded this mysterious orb. Hotline Bling started playing, people stepped side to side holding their thumb and pinkie out to their ears, and a coral gang of lights rushed to the bottom of the arena. Many people, including myself, tried to catch one as they fell. They never did, but what they did do is provide an array of emotional lighting and change into various, flowing formations.

The night concluded after a very forgettable performance by Future and a few more hits from Drake. As someone who was at the Club Paradise Tour, seeing Drake come this far is not only inspiring, but moving for OVO fans around the world.