Lost in Red

she freezes with anna’s voice, lips parted and eyes wide in shock. ‘ and ? ‘ what else did she want her to say ? she speaks nothing but the truth ( for once in her life ) – she’s sickly and bound to scepter 4. that’s all there is to it. despite her shock, she listens to the king’s tale, her expression beginning to settle to blankness. 

she’s overheard things pertaining to anna before, but her status as a strain was never one of them. she could only imagine the circumstances surrounding her powers, as well as the aforementioned hospital. her gaze averts, hands lowering to fiddle with the lace ends of her skirt again. really, this has to be a nervous tic or something… 

❝ your clansmen, they… seem more like the type of people to just screw around and have fun rather than stay behind and take care of a sick kid. ❞ zuki observes, slouching a bit. ❝ i would be a BURDEN to at least someone, regardless of whether or not you disagree. ❞ it feels like she’s just making excuses at this point out of fear…

she freezes again and looks up. ❝ wh… what.. ? ❞ she asks, crystal blue eyes brightening considerably. friends ? she’s never had a friend before, aside from her favorite teddy bear ! but– this is a king. the red king. why would a king ever want to be friends with her ? the sparkles in her eyes dim and fade away, and her somber expression returns.

❝ i’m… not the kind of person you’d want to be friends with… ❞ who would want a whiny, lying, sickly, and dying child as a friend ?

Looking at it from the other’s point of view... Anna couldn’t deny that someone might be burdened by the girl. Truthfully though... didn’t everyone burden others at some point? She could say she was a burden on Izumo, if she thought about it enough. It would be best to give up claiming the other wouldn’t be a burden. It wouldn’t change the point of view the older girl had of herself... So the child King would change tactics.

“Then... If you have to be a burden to someone... I’ll accept that burden, happily.”

She wouldn’t mind at all. No matter how much of a burden it might be. She would be willing to accept it without complaint.

“Homura... Those boys... They’re all children. I don’t think anyone of them would mind... Besides... Who says we couldn’t have fun while taking care of someone sick?”

No, with their track record of picking up strays, she doubted a single one would mind, especially if Anna had asked. They were good about that. They may have all been adults who masqueraded as children, but they all knew how to take care of one another. There might be some complaining, but no one ever hated doing it. Perhaps that was just because of Tatara’s influence.

Anna lifted a marble back to her line of sight and stared through it. Expression becoming quite serious as though she were considering a very grave matter. It was only a matter of seconds, but it felt like forever before she lowered the marble again.

dO IT

zuki stays silent to listen to anna’s words, her arm falling to her side. she grips the ends of her skirt again, as if she’s trying to stop herself from doing something– from just running away. she doesn’t want to be here, or there. hell, she doesn’t want to be anywhere. she doesn’t want to be zuki kim, the ‘ miracle child ‘ born in the kagutsu crater; she wants a new life, for fucks sake.

but she’ll never get that, or the freedom she truly longs for. perhaps she’ll even spend her final days at headquarters. it feels like she already is, though. after all, any day could be her last.

❝ i’m a hassle for everyone, because… ❞ zuki turns around slowly, before raising her head and pointing at the tubes taped to her cheeks, which lead to the nasal cannula poking into her nostrils. ❝ b-be… because of this. I’M SICK. i need to wear this thing whenever i’m on my feet, and when i’m at headquarters, i need to be hooked up to machines all the time. i can’t fight, or control my aura, or even go outside most days ! i’d just… be a NUISANCE. that’s why i can’t leave scepter 4. ❞

She didn’t want to be here, did she? She also didn’t want to go back to Scepter 4. Anna could tell, she did have the empathic abilities after all. Where could they go then? Ah, there was the park she always went to. The albino nodded to herself.

About to wander off, she paused at the explanation. None of them seemed to be anything of import to the child King.

“And?”

Canting her head to one side, the red eyes fixed on the girl again. Curiosity entering her gaze. She seemed to be waiting for a more. But that was it. Nothing more came beyond the current explanations.

“So what if you’re sick? That’s not a hassle.”

Nor was the machines that were necessary along with the illness. Anna’s lips pulled into a light frown.

“I’m a Strain. I couldn’t always control my powers. I couldn’t fight until the slate made me a King. I only left the bar when surrounded by other clansmen. Before that, I barely left the hospital I was at. So... I don’t think that you would be a nuisance.”

The smile was back, even as she spoke of the past she didn’t care for.

a shiver races up the smaller’s spine, stopping in place when anna’s hand gently grips her own. what a MESS she’s gotten herself into this time… she won’t be hearing the end of it after she’s able to return. she’ll go back to another scolding, another ‘ we just want what is best for you ‘ , and another extended period of time bedridden and hooked back up to those noisy machines as opposed to her little oxygen tank and nasal cannula, without fresh air.

she just wants to be a normal kid, goddamn it.

zuki looks down. ❝ you don’t get it. ❞ she begins, her free hand balling into a fist. ❝ i have to go back. scepter 4 has protected me since my birth. what kind of a person would i be if i were to just LEAVE ? i’m not like FUSHIMI. besides, i’m… too much of a hassle for anywhere else. ❞

This was wrong. It all felt too wrong. And it reminded her of her own past. It was her turn to reach out and try to help someone like others had done for her. Or at least try to. Fingers released the hand not wanting to make the girl uncomfortable.

“I think... I do get it. Not wanting to go back to somewhere, but having to because that’s what you think it’s what you are required to do.”

She did it to protect her Aunt and for no other reason than that. But she really did understand.

“Saruhiko is a good person. He didn’t fit in Homra... So he needed to leave. He couldn’t be happy here, and he found a place elsewhere. It doesn’t make him bad for leaving. And... I don’t think you would be a hassle for anyone else.”

zuki keeps her mouth shut, lips pressed to a thin line. what’s the big deal ? she lies all the time, and her deceit has yet to be seen through by anyone other than anna kushina. she must be doing something right. she swallows hard, turning her head away. time to try again.

❝ i was SCARED. ❞ …okay, that one’s sort of true. ❝ your people are strong. they– and you, really– squish me like a BUG in a matter of seconds. ❞ …that one’s… also true. damn her horrible genetics.

the girl stands up, straightening out her dress before turning towards the entrance. ❝ …sorry to bother you. they won’t be happy i’m gone, so i should… probably go. ❞ i don’t want to go back. i want to be FREE.

Scared?

Well... That was the reputation Homra earned, wasn't it. One eye stared at the other girl through the glass of a red marble. Anna wasn't worried about the bad reputation. Instead, she offered a smile, pleased that the other girl was being honest. The longer she watched the other, the more she felt an all too familiar emotion, something that almost took her back.

The marble was placed into a pocket of her dress, and she quickly reached out to grab the hand of the girl who had turned away from her. Things weren't going to be left like that.

It felt like in the span of a single, quick moment, the little kid had begun to exude the aura of someone much older, much wiser. Fushimi had only sent her sidelong glances from where he stood, but when she faced him and threw a familiar smile, followed by a much more familiar statement, light blue eyes subconsciously stayed on her, widening a fraction when he realized the source of that sense of heavy familiarity.

    “ Don’t sweat it. It’ll all work out! ”

And even though Fushimi was still far from convinced — even though he didn’t have the confidence to be sure that he’d live through the secret mission he’d been given were the Silver King’s plan to fail, Fushimi smirked through a scoff, not unlike how he sometimes had back when those words came from Totsuka-san’s grating sing-song.

…That’s it. The aura of a King, he thought, the last piece of the puzzle in his mind locking into place, and his gaze towards Anna softened, just a bit. He recalled the first time he’d spotted that new Sword of Damocles from a far distance, then how that small hand had slid over the sheath of the Captain’s saber. He recalled the idiots who were ready to charge in for her — the new Red King’s — sake.

On that end, he silently agreed. Anna was gonna be fine.

“Whatever you say, kid.” He finally tore his gaze away from her, regarding the signs of dusk brewing outside the stable. “You good to head back now? Really don’t wanna deal with those thugs potentially storming this place to look for you.”

There was one thing that Anna had decided, and that was to walk her own path. Even if there was a possibility of everything coming to an end, she would continue to walk the path she wanted to. If it was the right path or not, she couldn't say. But she owed it to everyone to at least try.

There was a twinge of something in the back of her mind, a feeling that wasn't her own. The smile on her lips softened further, a tender look entering her eyes. She wouldn't ask. Anna approached him and gave a soft tug at the sleeve of his jacket.

"Saruhiko..."

There was something she wanted to do something and more so she wanted to tell him something. But before that, she wanted him to at least be a little closer to her level. He was right that she should be getting back. Everyone would be worried soon, but she wanted this one last thing. The words that came to mind, she was uncertain if they would mean anything, but it felt like something she needed to say.

Another tug came at his sleeve, brows furrowing slightly, as she reached up to pat the top of his head in a comforting fashion. That's right, she wouldn't ask... It wasn't her business. But she would speak.

"You'll be all right. No matter what it is, you'll be all right."

To be honest, he may have left Homra, but she still considered him part of the family that they had built. He was kind enough to her, and it wasn't as though he hated everyone in Homra. Anna also wanted to share her conviction with him as well.

"From now on... I'm going to live how I want to live. I'm going to do everything in my power to change things. I'm not going to do things how Mikoto did. I'm going to use this power to protect. So I won't let anyone important to me end up sad."

zuki slowly nods, gaze averting from the taller child. bone-thin digits clutch the lace ends of her ivory dress, the blue cardigan she donned slipping down her shoulders. how could she be HONEST ? to come right out and admit she’s an unwilling, escaped scepter 4 clansman in HOMRA territory is almost suicide. or, at least, it was during mikoto suoh’s reign. 

…she… hasn’t exactly been outside since before his demise.

❝ it’s not a bad thing to do when it benefits you. ❞

The albino shook her head at the words. Wrong. That was wrong.

“Lying is still bad, even if it benefits you.”

In fact those were usually the worst kind of lies. She didn’t like the idea of telling lies, and she liked them less when they were used for personal gain. The king let out a sigh and closed her eyes, head shaking another time.

“Nothing bad will happen if you’re honest.”

There was a near wince at those words. They hit close to home. She kept the expression as neutral as she could, brows furrowing a little. Was it really comparable to death? Maybe... Without emotions then could you even consider yourself human? His words reminded her of something that was long in the past.

The expression eased into a smile, and a hand came to pat his shoulder in a comforting fashion.

Tagged by: @theimpietyscientist

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