Crowley’s girl

The streets of town were paved with stars It was such a romantic affair And as we kissed and said goodnight A nightingale sang in Berkeley square

Here they are, safe from their trials. As they walk into the bookshop, they brush against each other. Crowley wants to put an arm around Aziraphale. Aziraphale wants to put his arm around Crowley. They have no reason not to, not anymore.

“Angel?” Crowley asks, looking over.

“Yes?”

When S2 came out, even though I was grateful for more story, it made no fucking sense for them to still be skirting around each other. If Crowley had been living in his car that entire time, and Aziraphale (according to NG, fuck that guy), why wouldn’t Crowley have just been living in the bookshop. Why are the angels not taking Aziraphale seriously and still treating him like some annoying problem? That continuing narrative, to me, just doesn’t make sense.

Chapter 18 of my fic “Light of my Universe” is now up on AO3♥️ It’s the longest one yet!

We get to see some of Zariah’s and Crowley’s backstory, and that they’re not always as perfect as it seems ♥️

Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions, a 1941 flashback and of course a healthy dose of spice 🌶️✨

Have a little Snippet ♥️

Lavender & Chamomile

prints ♥

-

Fortunately, Asa’s prison name was The Fixer.

It’s almost as if they were meant to be!

When I seriously tried to end my life, I was taken to a hospital. There were people who took care of me. Back then, I couldn’t accept it. I hated it. I didn’t want to be saved. I just wanted everything to end. To stop existing, you know.

So, for months, I was cut off from the freedom to choose what to do with my own life, until it became clear that I was no longer a danger to myself.

Did that mean I could accept it at the time? No. It felt like they were torturing me on purpose. Like it was cruelty. I saw the world through agony because the world was agony to me.

That’s how depression works.

Even after I was no longer under clinical supervision.

And now I am grateful that my “free will” was restricted, because if that free will means self-destruction, then now, being alive and functional, I can say this with certainty: yes, the will of a person who wants to destroy themselves should be temporarily restricted.

Yes. That is the right thing to do.

I can say that because I was there.

Sometimes I still don’t want to live. But now I keep going. There is therapy. There is medication. There is an understanding that the way I saw the world back then was shaped by illness.

That doesn’t make this world any better, of course.

But it also doesn’t mean that the worldview of someone in the depths of severe clinical depression can be even remotely objective or justified.

I want to ask the writers of Good Omens 3:

What gave you the right to use a character—one beloved by tens of thousands of living, traumatized people—to tell them that suicide is the answer if you’re suffering?

That it’s funny to mock a depressed character, and then have him kill himself, presenting it as some higher wisdom or whatever other bullshit.

That it’s romantic?

That it makes sense because… because—WHAT?

Because of fucking determinism and because the world is so unfair?

Who gave you the right to be this cruel and dismissive?

Who gave you the right to spread something this deeply sick?

Who gave you the right to literally tear open barely healed wounds for people for whom this character and this story were hope, a way to survive?

Are you telling me that back then, when I wanted to die, I should have died? That I should have been given that “choice”?

Is that what you’re saying?

The truth is, I don’t think this wound will ever heal.

When people ask for S3 posts to be tagged, they’re not saying your opinion is wrong in any direction. They’re not saying you’re “bad” for loving it, hating it, or feeling somewhere in between.

They’re asking because tags are tools. That’s been true for years in fandom.

They’re how people find the conversations they want to join, and how they avoid the ones they’re not ready for. Fan-sites like Ao3, spaces like this, and countless others all rely on tagging to help people curate their own experience. That’s how to make and keep a space safe.

-Some people are grieving.

-Some people are excited and want to celebrate every moment of S3.

-Some people are in the middle, they love parts and hate parts.

-Some people are still processing.

-Some people, yes, some still haven’t even watched it yet.

None of these reactions are wrong.

Tagging isn’t censorship. It isn’t invalidating. It isn’t asking anyone to hide their joy or their disappointment.

It’s simply a small courtesy that lets everyone use this app the way it was designed: to seek out the content we want and filter out the content we don’t.

The same courtesy should apply whether your post is mixed, positive, negative, analytical, or simply emotional.

-We all process differently, that’s ok.

-We don’t all have to agree on S3.

-We can make it easier to coexist in the same fandom.

That’s all that tagging is for.

🤍🩶🖤

#good omens

#good omens season 3

#good_omens_after_dark

#fandom discourse

#tagging etiquette

#good omens meta

#go s3

#goad

#goad writers guild

#grayscale

#curate your own experience

Do I think that Asa and Anthony were cute? Yes. Do I also hate them? Yes. Let me explain. Throughout television history there has always been the same tropes for queer characters: Predetory, misrable, bullied, alone, in a relationship but only if they're the side character, and death. We have seen this over and over and over again.

We've seen it in supernatural with Castiels' dying confession, in Stranger Things with Will's humiliating coming out, the end of any byler hope as we knew it and the completely unnecessary rovicky breakup, in movies like Brokeback Mountain, As You Are, and Maurice where the whole plots are built off of tragedy. And when we do get positive representations of queer people and their relationships their respective shows/movies get cancelled or pushed aside, for example: I am Not Okay Wth This, The Owl House, and Shera and the Princesses of Power (And I would absolutely love to get into the under-representation of queer women in media another day).

SOOOO, when Good Omens got adapted for TV and popularized people were excited to finally have a piece of queer media with queer characters that didnt end in tragedy, that spread the message that everything would end up okay in the end (I also admit that I'm relatively new to the GO fandom so I'm not 100% sure as to what people felt like at the time but I'm speaking from my own experience of watching the show and consuming older fan media of it as well). As I watched the show I felt so overjoyed to see such a beautiful relationship on screen, it was so refreshing (especially after being in the pits of doom and despair aka the supernatural/destiel fanspace for so long) to see these lovable characters learn and grow and be happy with one another.

Then the end of season 2 came up and EVERYTHING changed, all of a sudden the queer despair came back and Aziraphale and Crowly couldn't be happy and together anymore because aparently you can't have queer media without some sort of tragedy!!!!! After the dramatic, painful, and OUT OF CHARACTER end of season 2 it all just became a snowballing boulder of shit. I got to season 3 and all of the positivity and hope of the show had been completely sucked out of it. It had completely lost its message. And by the end of the movie all hope had been lost. Here we went again with two of our favorite queer characters dying a completely avoidable death. Another unhappy ending. Another tally in the book of queer tragedy. Which brings me back to Asa and Anthony. Like I said in the beginning I thought the whole idea of them finding each other in every universe was very cute, but that being said, Asa and Anthony were NOT Aziraphale and Crowly. They were not the MAIN characters we had grown to love and relate to, Asa and Anthony were simply side characters to a much bigger and more interesting story put in to help us forget that very few shows, writers, and producers will ever let us have a queer couple in the spotlight. It shows that they will never be brave enough to give queer people a chance to shine.

✨ Starmaker ✨

Yes this is my first fanart ever.

Pls be nice 🥺🙏 I am still learning!

So two years and a day two days ago I published the first chapter of Good Works. A few weeks earlier @crowleysgirl56 had posted this :

https://www.tumblr.com/crowleysgirl56/754579025430724608/if-michael-sheen-investigating-illegal-toxic-waste And I couldn't stop thinking about it. I listened to the podcast with Michael Sheen (an absolutely crazy story with so many unexpected twists and turns! - and a movie version is coming out next year!). I started a spreadsheet with scenes, character notes, and a historical timeline. I did some research. I outlined a story that I figured might be 30-40k: my first Good Omens fic and twice as long as anything I'd tried before. I imagined these two characters: an unlikely queer activist with a dark past and a government employee who stumbled onto an environmental scandal. My first challenge was trying to figure out how and where they would run into each other. I brainstormed places their lives could intersect, where did a cross section of humanity show up in the mid 80s? Why, the all night copy shop! In the middle of the night... because... because they needed to make some copies! From there, I wrote in frantic bursts, barely keeping up with the story as it played out in front of me. It was a relatively long chapter, I thought - over 2k!

“Excuse me! Excuuuuse me!” The man’s voice, quickly escalating from urgent to shrill, came over Crowley’s shoulder seconds before the man himself barrelled into him. Crowley fell against the hulking copy machine, the top-loading paper tray poking him painfully in the chest and knocking the wind out of him. He turned, mouth open but soundless to protest, and saw only a broad beige back. The man bent over the far side of the machine where, up until a second ago, Crowley himself had hovered, waiting for his stack of copies to emerge.  “Jesus, what’s your problem?” Crowley finally found the breath to snarl, clutching his ribs. He didn’t have much padding on him, to be slammed into things (at least not without a few drinks and discussion about safe words). The furious rustling of paper was the only reply.   “Hey, those are my flyers!” He grabbed a handful of the interloper’s coat and tried to yank him away, but quickly realized he didn’t have the leverage or weight. The guy didn’t budge an inch, until, suddenly, he did. Crowley was pushed again, this time his back colliding with the machine. “You have got to be kidding me!” He reached back to rub a new sore spot and adjusted his sunglasses more firmly over his eyes as the blinding light bled in around the edge. The man straightened up and turned so quickly his hat tilted to the side, momentarily revealing a shock of short curly hair, bright white under the harsh fluorescent lighting. Between the beige trench coat and matching fedora, he looked like either a 1950s private detective or someone who was trying all too hard to look very, very inconspicuous, resulting in exactly the opposite effect.  “Oi! Stop, thief!” Crowley yelled. “This man is a flyer thief and I want him arrested!” He gestured grandly to the empty shop. It was 3am, on a rainy Tuesday in July and the shop was empty — not even the usual troglodyte grad student illegally photocopying science journals snuck out of the nearby university library. Mr. Arnold, the owner and often the entire night shift staff, was off in the back somewhere, inhaling printer ink fumes and pouring over obscene illuminated manuscripts or whatever he got up to on a slow night...

Continue reading on A03

I wrote the next dozen chapters about one per week, publishing as I went. Somewhere in the double digits I started recognizing & looking forward to repeat commenters.  I got my first beta reader and joined some writing communities, discovering the joy of sprints and sharing snippets. The story got more complicated. The spreadsheet started looking like a digital crazy wall with conditional formatting, formulas, charts and graphs. I abandoned my overgrown outline and started another one. And then another. Google Docs started choking on the size of the file so I moved to one file-per-chapter. I got new beta readers, including a designated Brit Picker and some wonderful cheer readers. My publishing schedule went from once a week to every-other-week as the chapter word count went up. Then I went on a trip and got COVID, then it was the holidays, then it was more than two weeks between chapters... then it got more complicated, then I got sick *again*... you can see where this is going. More weeks between chapters. Thinking about it every day but mostly feeling bad about it. I tried to make writing fun again by working on a short side project (Mornings After Nights Before). I got COVID *again*... I bailed on discord and stepped back from social media for a bit. Work started to be overwhelming and writing fell by the wayside but never went away entirely. It felt like Zeno's Arrow, as I got halfway finished, then half of that, and half of that... the end always retreating just a bit further.

I took over 3 months between chapter 27 and 28. S3 was in no way the inspiration I had hoped it would be. Days and weeks go by without more than a few words here and there... Clearly, my heart is not in it any more.

Where do we go from here

I do know how that writers block can happen. I had such a burst of energy with my own WIP and the finale completely sucked out my inspiration for it. I’ve been carving out the next chapter in dribs and drabs. So I completely understand the passion for wanting to finish and the feeling of letting everyone down.

But you’re certainly not letting anyone down! We’re here to continue cheering you on!