Crowcon~

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I do live art streams! Come stop by, hangout, chat and follow me at twitch.tv/dweeby_n

I stream every Mon/Wed/Fri at 8pm EST

I’m aiming to reach a 50 follower goal and am currently at 14!

Twitch.tv/dweeby_n

Give me a follow! I love to talk with those in chat and stream about 2-3 times a week :D

https://twitter.com/Crowcon_

I really wish this guy I know would quit giving me mixed signals.

Almost a year ago I had straight up told him that I was interested in him. (Reached a point in my life where I just don’t give a fuck and was able to tell him point blank) Back when I told him I very bluntly made it clear that if he’s not interested in return he could tell me right then and there and it wouldn’t bother me. He’s a really cool guy to be around so I would be fine with just staying friends too. But, all he said was that he wasn’t sure. Which, is fair enough, sometimes people need time to think it over so I told him to just let me know if he ever figures it out.

We continued to voice chat (and flirt) almost every day. Sometimes in his open group voice call and sometimes he’d pull me into private calls locked to everyone else because he didn’t feel like talking to anyone else but me. His friends would often tease him when I was around and tell me how he’s seemed happier ever since I showed up. They were all in support and really thought he was interested in me. So, one of his closer friends said that he would try and talk to him to see how he’s actually feeling. However, his friend eventually came back to me really disheartened saying that he was told that he had “Absolutely zero interest.” Which, at the time, kind of hurt because I don’t know why he could never just tell me himself. I don’t know if that’s how he really felt or if he was just unwilling to share with his friend because he does often keep things to himself and gets annoyed with some of his friends often for prying.

After awhile school got too busy for me to constantly keep communicating so we eventually faded away from contact. However, as of this past month, he’s started messaging me again out of the blue. He wanted to wish me a merry Christmas and often keeps telling me to check my phone because he keeps sending gifts my way on Pokémon go. He even calls me “Doll” now.

I thought my crush had faded over time but to be honest I can feel it slowly returning. But, I don’t want to go through the confusion of wondering if he’s interested or not again. Half of me is saying he’s purposefully being wishy-washy because he just enjoys the funny flirting and the other half of me is saying that maybe he’s just too shy to be upfront. He IS 5 years younger than me afterall (19 years old), so maybe he’s just too nervous. I know he struggles with anxiety and depression so that could be a possibility. But, at the same time, maybe I’m just making excuses.

Welp, this sucks.

I’m not entirely sure how their purge is going to work in regards to reblogs and stuff, but since my blog is FULL of my own nsfw art and stuff that I’ve reblogged (years worth of stuff that I don’t have the time nor energy to look for to delete), I’ve prepared an account on Twitter in case my blog gets torn down.

I’m at the point where I really need to have people around me to watch over me while I get put on some medication. Hopefully there won’t be any trouble with taking the month of classes after my winter break online instead. Then, once I’ve been put on something, hopefully I’ll be able to easily fly back to school and continue on the next few months of classes as normal.

It really sucks since the next thing I’ll be learning is post-production audio which seems really interesting, but I’ve got no other choice at this point. I’m struggling to function normally.

Thankfully I have people who can watch over my apartment while I’m in CT for the two months I’m gone.

I was meant to just go out for a simple food run by Noodles & Company today, but after I grabbed my food and was driving home, I nearly hit a puppy (black chihuahua) that suddenly ran out into the middle of the road.

So, OF COURSE I pulled over into the nearest parking lot and got out of my car to give chase since it was still walking in the middle of a busy road. Turns out, two other families that had nearly hit it were giving chase too.

So, me and these two families ran around some buildings trying to catch it, but eventually the two families with me gave up and drove off. But, I didn’t want to just leave this little guy alone and have him potentially hit by a car, so I kept following it.

I knew that there was no way I was gonna be able to catch it (I have asthma and severe anemia and it’s 80+ degrees out) so I called 911 and continued to watch it from afar while I waited for police to show up. About 5 minutes later a police van showed up and the police officer and I were able to corner it in a caged off parking lot.