cross your fingers

I am queen of all my sins forgotten. Am I still lost? Once I was beautiful. Now I am myself

Dr. Dain L. Tasker,

The most beautiful photo I downloaded was one that Peter Hujar took of her in the 1970s, around the time of I, Et Cetera. She’s wearing a thin grey turtleneck and lies on her back – arms up, head resting on her clasped hands and her gaze fixed impassively on something to the right of the frame. There’s a slightly pedantic quality to the whole thing which I like: very true to life. Every few hours now she floats up onscreen in this digitised format, supine, sleek and flat-chested.

I am haunted. All my dreams are nightmares.

We should try to find out why we refuse to get cured of our loneliness.

Deeply lost in the night.