here we go again

sun shouldnt be allowed to come up when I'm not done using the dark yet

its harder being smug when you live your life as poorly as i do. but i manage

i wanna see more stories with a time skip epilogue where at least one character has clearly transed their gender and it isnt really remarked upon. bonus if none of them were remotely hinted to be trans until that moment because i think it'd be funny to watch a fandom react to that. your blorbo's happily ever after involves being a woman. dont worry about it.

the grocery store should be open 24/7 but they should let the employees go home and just trust us

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

oh i'm going to misusle and straight up fuckle this knowledge so badly

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

does anyone know how to stop desire from being the root of all suffering