Ipomoea

RUINER.

❛    Do it for the love.   ❜ ❛     If I’m being honest, I don’t know what I’m chasing.   ❜ ❛     I just wanna let you know you’re not alone.   ❜ ❛     I got people from the past probably hoping I’m dead   ❜ ❛     It’s just things aren’t the way that they used to be.   ❜ ❛     I lost my mind, then I lost my best friend.   ❜ ❛     Yeah, so what if I did and what if I didn’t?   ❜ ❛     I just wish I wasn’t stuck between decisions.   ❜ ❛     I just wish I didn’t feel like something’s missing.   ❜ ❛     Seems like every time I leave I end up thinking of us.   ❜ ❛     I keep fucking with your head like a lobotomy.   ❜ ❛     You’ll always be a part of me.   ❜ ❛     Things change when you come around.   ❜ ❛     They’re just memories now.   ❜

SAYER.

❛     I can still hear it all.   ❜ ❛     Every word that you said gets embedded in my head.   ❜ ❛     All the things never spoke now choking me.   ❜ ❛     I been on my own.   ❜ ❛     You never called.   ❜ ❛     We never saw eye to eye.   ❜ ❛     Wasn’t tryna hurt you.   ❜ ❛     You know that wasn’t my intention.   ❜ ❛     & I never meant for this to happen.   ❜ ❛     I turn regret into a habit.   ❜ ❛     There’s nothing to say now.   ❜ ❛     How could you be fine when I’m barely getting by?   ❜ ❛     Every word you said now, was it all a lie?   ❜ ❛     Just sucks to feel this way when I know you don’t.   ❜ ❛     Why can’t I let go?   ❜

VACANTER.

❛     I can’t help it, if I could I would change it.   ❜ ❛     Lately, I’ve been feeling so vacant.   ❜ ❛     Holding out waiting for something to change   ❜ ❛     Everybody always asks if I’m okay, & I’m mad ‘cause I don’t know what to say.     ❜ ❛     It’s like I’m going insane.   ❜ ❛     I got enemies that live up in my brain.   ❜ ❛     You always told me you would be the one to help.   ❜ ❛     Now it’s me & myself.   ❜ ❛     Funny how it changed up like that.   ❜

CHANGER.

❛     I been thinking of my problems.   ❜ ❛     I’m feeling like “why bother”.   ❜ ❛     Growing up, there was no drama.   ❜ ❛     Telling me “move on” But honestly I don’t wanna.   ❜ ❛     Are you happy now?   ❜ ❛     Pretending to mitigate all your problems, motherfucker.   ❜ ❛     I just miss the days on the playground.   ❜ ❛     Seems like everybody that I loved went away now.   ❜ ❛     How come as I grow I keep feeling less alive?   ❜ ❛     How come all I see is the past when I shut my eyes?   ❜ ❛     Man, I thought it would last, but it passed me by.   ❜ ❛     How come all I see is your face when I look to the sky?   ❜ ❛     I could lead you to the water, but I can’t make you drink.   ❜ ❛     I can give my two cents, but I can’t make you think.   ❜

WASTER.

He visibly relaxes when his teacher allows him to sit at his table. He proceeds to do just that although not without an audible scoff leaving his lips at the idea he is here to ask questions about the exam. “I think you know me better than that Professor,” he says as he sits down and instantly reaches over for the menu between them. He knows it by heart, but that doesn’t mean he won’t have a look at it anyway.

It doesn’t take him much time to figure out what he wants though and soon, he is closing the menu and returning it to its previous location. After all, he came here to ask his professor questions, not to let the silence stretch between them and waste his time with menial things just to avoid getting to the heart of the matter. He joins his hands on the table and clears his throat. He has a vague idea of what he wants to ask, but he doesn’t know where to start. Should he tell the older man about his dilemma first or should he simply ask him about his curriculum directly?

“Did you always want to be a teacher?” he eventually asks, deciding that going straight for his professor’s professional background was the best option. “Or were there other options in the beginning and teaching came later?” He hoped Jasper wouldn’t mind his questions, but he also trusted him to tell him if he didn’t want to answer them/tell him about his life.

Jasper watched Damien with an amused expression as he took another sip of his drink, the alcohol burning its path down while they sat in comfortable silence. Jasper waited and watched patiently as the brunette looked at the menu, his face told the professor that something bothered him and he might need some time to open up. He empathised easily with them, having been where they stood now, just at the edge, in the tricky crossroad that could decide what they would do for the rest of their lives. It was a lot of pressure.

Which is why it was no surprise to him, as he watched one of his best students shift uncomfortably in his seat before opening his mouth.

Memories flashed in his mind and a bitter smile formed on his lips at the questions. Teaching. Jasper liked to teach, to spread knowledge about his beloved magical plants, contributing to the development of Herbology through education of young minds, especially when most considered it useless back in his day.

“I will take the chance that we are out of the classroom to tell you...” he leaned in closer, pushing his glasses up his nose as he whispered to the younger student. “No. I absolutely despised the thought of teaching back in 7th Year.” 

He let out a soft chuckle at the memory of his younger stricter self. What an ass, Jasper thought now, the alcohol already affecting his mind in the slightest but he was determined to help his student so he continued, leaning back on his chair as he idly played with his glass.

❛ hello new professor, were you by any chance a hogwarts student…lets say a few years back. in ravenclaw? ❜

Jasper would be lying if he said he was paying attention to what was happening around him. He tried to at least, for the first part, but soon the voices around him quickly became a soft buzz on his ears and his eyes unfocused on a particular spot at the end of the large hall. He blamed the sleepless night spent turning and attempting to find a comfortable position to no avail.

It took a soft nudge from his fellow colleague and one of his closest friends in the faculty, Timmothy, to mark the end of the torture and snap him out of his reverie. Finally he could go back to the comfort of the greenhouse and get some rest.

However he pauses in his tracks, not being quick enough to escape the hall with the state of his leg, as a small and lithe figure approaches him and taps his arm. Blinking at the question, he pushes his glasses up as a frown settles between his brow and he replies hesitantly. “Yes...? Why?”.

He clears his throat awkwardly and takes a better look at the girl, leaning against his cane and tilting his head searching for any familiar sign. He was relatively young for a Professor so there might be a chance that one of the older students could recognise him from his last years in Hogwarts. So he tried hard to picture a younger version of the face in front of him and faint recognition hit him. A smaller girl at the bottom of the stairs. Was she crying?

          “oh, i see! so that’s your preference sir,” now the conversation has taken an unexpected turn, the gryffindor would not have expected him to be someone with a penchant for alcohol let alone the burning taste of firewhiskey. it tosses him into a new light, not anything negative nor positive for it simply feels like the slow unravelling of a new understanding. learn something new every day - even if it didn’t include actual coursework. 

     but though she is simply dancing in mischievousness, a brief thought flutters into her mind that was she to succumb into utmost desperation this news could be useful. if only though, she still carried enough pride & stubbornness to stoop to such a matter. for now & forever.

     "is there an all of the above option here by any chance?“ rowan playfully inquires, a brief second of lips curling up into a smile soon falling again as she slumps herself a bit closer to the counter. ”i’m just exhausted from studying for the impending finals…oh but, i’m sure you must be even more tired than me! all the exams you’d have to create for each grade and…“

     she pauses & straightens herself up, though eyes clench shut for a second at the thought of sitting in his position. "marking them all afterwards too. actually? my life sounds sort of easier now. but i still want a butterbeer.”

He noticed the shift in the girl’s mood and he tilted his head, analyzing her behaviour. Slumped on the counter of the bar and small frown between her brows, typical sign of a troubled mind. He subtly signaled the bartender for a butterbeer and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose a bit more.

“You are right. The life of a professor isn’t really easy however I know sometimes the amount of pressure some of you guys go through is insane... Especially if you are heading towards the end of your academic path.” he smiled knowingly, being way too familiar with the feeling. It might have been 7 years ago but he couldn’t help the flashbacks from coming to him with a simple walk in the corridors of Hogwarts.

“It isn’t bad to take a break once in awhile... Damn I wish someone had forced me to one back when I was a student” he chuckled as he realised he didn’t necessarily use professor appropriate language but maybe it could help the girl to relax a bit more. She sure looked like she needed to.

     she settles for something in the middle, chirping out a  greeting. “hello professor, you never struck me as the sort of person who would come to have some butterbeer. it’s a pleasure to see you though.”

It had been a long day for Jasper to put it simply. No amount of potions or muggle painkillers would ease the persistent ache on his leg, mostly an effect of prelonged stress. 

Exam season was always an anxious time both for students and faculty. Almost as soon as he had finished classes which were in itself stressful and busy due to the fact that Jasper had to plan them, watch over the students for any mishaps and making test papers only to grade them all after so the word “stressed” doesn’t even cover half of Jaspers emotions lately.

Luckily he had Timothy, the potions professor and also one of his closest friends. It had been Jasper’s birthday recently and the two decided to meet one evening to celebrate it with a meal and maybe a lot a few drinks, under the condition that Timothy would pay for everything.

So there he was, Timothy being a but late as usual, so Jasper had taken the chance to order his first drink, enjoying how the alcohol burned his veins and lulled the sense of pain. He was in his own little bubble, thinking of nothing in particular, simply enjoying the lulling buzz of the bar without noticing someone sat beside him until they spoke, making him jump in his seat slightly.

“And I am not. This is firewhiskey. I find butterbeer a bit too sweet for my taste.” the male replies simply, a small chuckle escaping his lips at his reaction as he faces the girl who he recognised. Rowan, was her name and he knew her and Professor Amelia were family which explained the constant presence of the gryffindor outside of class.

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