Spawn of Indecisive

It’s better that this didn’t get retconned into a dated present, because a gift couched in concentrated navel gazing is very 2012 Tumblr

My many ambitions did not quite pan out, an artifact of obstacles old and new: hyperfixation and such personal investment in the subjects that nothing more emotive made the cut. Lichen used to be in an excited floating cuddle, and Alderbranche was much more relaxed on his seats as they transformed from lush sprawling gardens, castle ruins, pink-orange sunsets, forests with everything completely bedecked in moss and ferns. I’m disappointed that they ended up so stiff and stuck in a single plane when the pics that informed the background made me feel so unfettered, freed from how trapped I’ve been for the past decade.

Started as soon as I got back from Europe last July. The progress of this as a canvas basically covered my whole trip and became a love letter to Hal and to England, and deadlines came and went as I tried to whip myself into completing it by Christmas, then by Valentine’s, then his birthday, all of which have come and gone in my time overworking everything. I went through palettes he favors, and locations we enjoyed together, but ultimately the colors wound up so blown out I just desaturated everything and slapped on a pinkish sepia since the values on their own made the most sense. I’ve got a lot to learn there too, but this is okay. I referenced so many of our vacation photos and learned a lot about lighting, detail concentration, depth, coloration, weight distribution over the course of this, most of which is not showcased here at all because everything kept getting dialed back as I got frustrated. It’ll be applied in the future, more quickly and comfortably.