( 001 ). hi, i’m alex🔪, 30+, she/her.
( 002 ). welcome to #criticalfai1ure : a semi-selective and slow roleplay blog for a multitude of characters, many of whom you've seen me write elsewhere on this hellsite.
( 003 ). you must be 18+ to interact.
( 004 ). my inbox is always open and memes never expire, send something today!
( 005 ). like i said above, i am slow. this is with ic responses and many times with ooc too. i do my best but i'm a mom with a full-time job and i appreciate your patience more than you know.
( 006 ). blogroll : @negatwin ( dispatch oc sideblog ), @wallyclarkmemorial ( school spirits sideblog ), @thetragedies ( school spirits multi sideblog ), @hllvtka ( dispatch sideblog ), @pizzatheif, @mirafirstmate, @sniperwithasmoke, @madcaptainsilvo.
( 007 ). most active muses in my brain : hugo ; august ; max ; basher.
est. april 2023 — dash only. beta editor. memes.
google site. alt verses. interest tracker. incomplete gdoc.
MUSE LIST : ( updated 05.17.26 )
BULLET TRAIN
tangerine - arthur h. seville junior. formerly TANGERINESOUR
DEPT. Q
d.c.i. carl morck. ( testing )
DISPATCH
robert “robbie” robertson ii. ( testing )
robert robertson iii. ( testing )
negastatic - electromagnetic manipulation, one half of the magnatwins, good guy turned bad guy turned good again. found at NEGATWIN
hellvetika found at HLLVTKA
DUNGEONS & DRAGONS
edgin darvis. ( d&d : honor among thieves ) - human bard. chaotic good.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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@trickstercaptain said : “ you're really proud of yourself, aren't you? ”
“ darling, ” jack replies, and his lips twist into a sly little smirk beneath his freshly trimmed moustache. “ have you seen the massive fucking treasure i secured? ” worn boots land themselves, crossed at the ankle, upon his dingy desk, scattering papers with the movement. truth be told, jack has known very little peace since they returned to nassau — a proper fucking headache. but the gold is being secured in the fort and it was his doing that got it here. jack rackham — captain jack rackham. the smirk flourishes into a full grin. sparrow had the right of it. “ that is my name on their lips, moving from the hold of that ship to the bottom of our fort. of course i'm fucking proud of myself. ”
my pizza earring fell out this morning and i couldn’t find it, so i popped a hotdog one in instead. anyway, hugo van houten in a claire’s snatching up all the food themed studs.
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idk man, i just don’t get how we’re supposed to afford ANYTHING rn. my monthly bonus was shifted to the first paycheck of next month but like !!! i have to pay for my car! and daycare! and my credit cards and car insurance and electric !!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ANY OF THAT WITH LESS MONEY??? it was already going to be tight if not impossible to pay for every upcoming bill for the end of the month, but now??
i literally feel sick over this rn.
and now there’s no chance i can afford science camp for lil 😭 and she was looking forward to it so much.
SPICE. it's ground black pepper, but the shaker lid is too loose and it spills out onto your plate into a pile, and it'd been ground too fine so you can't scrape it all off and your eggs are kinda ruined but it's also the first time you stopped to eat all day so you suffer through it.
WEATHER. fog, but specifically the kind you get in new jersey, in the mornings, when it’s dense enough that you can't see shit but for shadows in the distance that might be another person or a car or a building or tree, where you can feel the weight that it gives to the air if you dare stand outside, but it feels unknowable. ancient. like something of a warning but you stand in the heart of it anyway.
PRIMARY COLOUR. a dusty blue that's almost grey.
COLOUR OF THE SKY. grey on grey on grey. the kind of sky where you can't see a single seam tying the clouds together. the kind of grey that reflects your mood and, in fact, just reinforces how shitty your day is going - not even the sun bothered to show its face.
MAGICAL POWER. something that's like the ability to know things as long as you’re willing to accept the answer. not quite clairvoyance, never omniscience, but something you still have to work for.
SHOE. you should be dress shoes, but you aren't some gumshoe from the 1920s. so it's a pair of sneakers that are definitely past their prime.
HOUSEPLANT. a pothos plant that's overdue for a repotting.
BLADE WEAPON. a swiss army knife that your grandfather gifted to you for your thirteenth birthday and, even though it has never really come in handy the way you expected it to, you hold on to it because you still cherish the idea of who you could have been when it was first placed in your hands.
SCHOOL SUBJECT. yearbook.
SOCIAL MEDIA. a handful of throwaway accounts used to research the clients that come across your desk and a myspace account you made when you were eleven and just a little too young to be allowed unfiltered access to the internet. you lost the password a week after it was made ( or maybe frank found it, decided he should be a good dad for once, and changed it ).
MAKEUP PRODUCT. a weak concealer that's not quite the right shade and does nothing to hide the bags under your eyes.
CANDY. sour patch kids.
TANGIBLE FEAR. being responsible for something terrible that you have no memory of.
ICE CUBE SHAPE. ice chips, but it's because you didn't realize that's the setting the dispenser on the fridge was set to and you're disappointed but it isn't your house so you aren't going to waste the ice that's already in your glass.
METHOD OF LONG-DISTANCE TRAVEL. a road trip where you only stop driving when you can't see the road any longer, so you have to pull off in a truck stop for a few fitful hours of shut-eye.
ART STYLE. whatever the scream has got going for it, but also the painting of the guy with a bowler and an apple in front of his face.
HISTORICAL PERIOD. the tail end of the roaring twenties. the years that sit on the precipice of the great depression, just before the floor gives out, and you can feel the way it starts to yield beneath your feet. when you're already starting to see bread lines pop up, but you don't pay them enough mind.
MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE. will-o-the-wisp.
PIECE OF STATIONERY. a pocket-sized notepad that's almost completely filled, but you haven't sprung for a new one just yet.
THREE EMOJIS. 🤞👁️
CELESTIAL BODY. the moon. but specifically a new moon.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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