birthday boy

I think it would be really wonderful if seagulls were constructed more like bottles with a mystery inside. What I'm imagining is that were you to catch one, you could then unscrew its face and there would be a glowing gem nestled in some sort of socket. The Core of the Gull so to speak. Then you could swap that around with other seagulls, and after screwing the faces back on they would fly off as if nothing happened. Hm... Is this too esoteric, or do some of you see what I am getting at?

rummaging for an earl grey teabag like its a cigarette

if i could fuck the free online gif editing tool ezgif.com i totally would

"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

we need to find the beating heart of The Job Market and we need to plunge a holy gleaming blade into it. its the only way to be free

i hope somebody poops in all of the fireworks all over the united states so when they fire them into the air and they explode it’s just poop human poop

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!