Dirk

Dirk tried to visit his Dad as often as he could, never telling him that it was mostly out of concern.  It was no secret that muggleborns and half bloods who worked for the Ministry and were a part of the Order put their families at risk.  Choosing to stay in Glasgow for the best part of a week, as it always did it took him a moment to adjust back to the Wizarding world.  

She had gotten into a comfortable routine with her secret rendezvous with Dirk. It was difficult for those who spent time with her at work not to notice the change in disposition. Evie was lighter and happier, not thinking about the consequences of what would happen if they were caught. She couldn’t think about them, at least not when she was out and about. Her thoughts were overly consumed by how she felt when she was with him. At least she had Georgette to confide in. It felt impossible to keep it a secret, especially given all of the feelings that were stirring up again. Granted, their time together was very innocent. They hadn’t gotten beyond friendly cuddling, but at least they were making up for lost time.

Evie packed her bag and apparated to their usual meeting spot, eager to see him again. She finally spotted him and gave a little wave before walking over to him. “Hey,” she said, giving him a hug in greeting. “So what were you thinking of watching tonight? I’m a bit partial to that Star Wars movie movie you showed me before but I’m also good with just listening to music.”

Dirk had found that his meetings with Evie felt completely separate from everything, sort of like they had their own little safe haven where the war was non existent. It was foolish and naive, and Dirk knew that, but it was so nice and so easy to pretend just for a bit.  To just be at one, to just forget.  He wished so badly that it could always be like this, it was so simple and on some of their meetings he had completely forgotten about the dangers just miles away, because he was so focussed on Evie. 

His smile spread and reached his hues.  Had they hugged this much before? He had wondered that the last time, not that he was complaining, it was just another thing he didn’t want to end. Feeling almost completely at rest just from Evie’s scent which had filled his nostrils during their embrace. 

“Hmmm, well my Dad mentioned that this new film called Alien is good....” Dirk laughed softly, “...Though he’s really into Sci fi, so I’m not sure his measure of what is ‘good’ should be taken too seriously.”  Dirk glanced at his watch for a moment, thinking that his father would probably still be working. “We could go to my Dad’s and put on some records... I think he’s still working nights.”

“Well, if its so good your mother got it every time, it must be divine.” She held up her finger to get the attention of the employee behind the case of sweets, “I’ll have a healthy slice of lemon meringue, and whatever he would like” she stepped back from the case, smiling at Dirk. 

Violet eyed the pie while the girl behind the counter slid the large pie off the pedestal, and slid a knife through the spongey meringue. “I’ve always been partial to lemon. It was the only plant my mother would tend to herself in our garden. We had a a small plot up by the back door, probably 4 or 6 trees depending on the season. She would have our elves incorporate it into every meal possible. Said it would remind her of her mother.” 

Dirk’s brow furrowed for a moment, because once again something Violet said once again had said something which reminded him of his own mother.... He was sure that she had mentioned something similar about her own mother, It was actually why she swore by lemon meringue pies. She said that it was one of the only things she and her mother would do together when she was a girl, bake them.  He decided not to say that, it was probably just a coincidence... I mean, loads of people like them, he thought to himself. 

His expression changed back to a soft smile, which was much more common on his face, than the confused, blank one he had been wearing moments before.  He had opened his mouth fully intending on changing the topic completely, except that is not what left his lips, “I don’t know anything about my Grandmother on my mothers side, except for a couple of random things, she wasn’t exactly maternal, but she did occasionally bake with my mum and my mums sister,  when the mood struck her and it was always one of these...”  A sort of confused chuckle escaped him, “I dont actually know anything about her either... my aunt, but I’m sure she likes them too wherever she is.”

Dirk had never been someone who could keep secrets, his father would often joke that he would be a terrible poker player. The only secret he had managed to keep to himself for years was how he felt about Evie, it must have always been clear on his face, so many times he had worried that she must have been able to tell because his eyes surely gave it away.  They had met a couple of times over the past few weeks secretly, and the fact that he hadn’t shared that with a single soul was incredible. Perhaps because the only person he might have told, was the very person he was waiting for.  

Everytime they met like this, Dirk felt like his heart was going to break free from his chest. He worried that maybe this night would be the night she stopped meeting him, that someone found out, or worse, found out and did something to stop her coming to meet him.  Like with the past few times, he had arrived early, pacing the street, butterflies absolutely swarming inside his stomach. He looked at his watch for a moment, and that was when he heard the distinct sound of an apparation, the relief evident on his face.   

Before there had been any feelings, Dirk had been her friend. She could be her truest self around him, not the perfectly crafted image of a pureblood princess that her mother instilled into her. She was a changed because of him. There was plenty to thank him for and his kind heart had stolen hers. Timing had not been on their side. She only blamed herself for their separation. She had been impatient and too blind to see what was obviously always there between them. 

Evie looked down at his hand and took it tentatively. Even though they were out and away from the wizarding world, she still felt slightly paranoid that someone else would report back. She shook it off, wrapping her fingers around his hand. “No, it’s fine. I mean… it would be nice… we can go. He probably wouldn’t be too happy to see me, but I wouldn’t mind going.”

Dirk knew that he wasn’t quite acting as he usually would, he was being alot more forward. Part of it was to do with seeing that girl’s mother, he hadn’t known Madison at all, just of her. But they were the same age, and she probably had someone she was in love with, but never got to say it, or really feel it. Life was just so short, even shorter now with the war and everything.  There just was no way of knowing how this would all play out. It could be fine, and the Order might win, or the Death eaters might win, in which case Dirk would probably have to leave for good, and that would only be assuming he survived. 

“We can just walk for a bit first.”  He said, squeezing her palm as they started at a slow, relaxed pace. Dirk had always found the city at night comforting, maybe it was just because it reminded him of his childhood before Hogwarts. But then again, this was his home too, just as much as Hogwarts had been. “I used to take walks around here just after my mum.... I couldn’t quite bring myself to go back to Hogsmeade or Diagon, but I liked being sort of on the border if you could call it that.”  An easy laugh fell from his lips. “...Inbetween worlds..”

If she could freeze this moment in time and live in it forever, she would. But Evie knew better. Eventually, they would have to return to the real world, to the realization that she lived in a world that would not accept her to love someone who wasn’t as “pure” as she was. It was disgusting. He didn’t need to be a pureblood to be above reproach. Dirk had always been kind and caring, showing her parts of the world and ways of thinking that she had never encountered before. It left her with a hunger to learn more, but she was left in the years apart unable to seek that out.

Evie looked up at him, only pulling away slightly so that she wouldn’t go cross-eyed looking up at him. She couldn’t remember ever being this close to him before. Sure, they had friendly hugs and sat close during study hours at Hogwarts, but this… she could see each fleck of color in his eyes and it made her hold her breathe ever so slightly. It wasn’t until he spoke until she was finally able to speak again. “A walk… yes. That would be good… Although, I don’t know how long I’ll last. I haven’t slept in over 24 hours so I might pass out on you. Just wanted to let you know so you’re not caught off guard if I end up going down,” she half joked, trying to lighten the air around them.

Dirk had always known exactly how he felt about Evie, he tried in vein to ignore it for a long time. He tried to date someone else, hoping that it would distract him, but it had only made him miss Evie all the more. But he also had decided years ago that he couldn’t ever actually say it out loud, apart from the fact that he doubted he physically could say it... even if he did, and even if she felt the same, it really didn’t matter. It would never end the way he wanted it to. He knew of her brother, and he knew of other pureblood guys who were probably waiting in the wings to be Evie’s husband, that thought alone made his heart squeeze. 

Taking a deep breath, Dirk held out his hand, which he had done before he was able to overthink it. “Take my hand, if you fall, I’ll fall too.”  He said softly, a gentle smile growing on his face as he spoke. “We could go to my Dads later...”  He trailed off and cleared his throat, shaking his head. “Sorry that was... I didn’t mean ... just with apparation it wouldn’t take long.”  Dirk just really didn’t want to go back to the Wizarding side of Britain yet.

“Oh no, just enjoying a day off” Violet said, smiling, as she slid past him into the small shop; Every fiber of her being was pulling the other way, to run out the door, and sprint down the street to get away. But….she didn’t. Moving towards the glass covered displayed, she eyed the treats in all their glory. Treacle tart, cauldron cakes, and pumpkin pastries were scattered among slices of cakes and pies. Violet wanted everything, realizing in that moment how hungry she really was.

Standing up and looking at Dirk, she placed her hands on her hips, before asking “ok, everything looks amazing, what would you suggest? ”

Following Violet to the display, he felt a sudden pang in his gut, it had been a good while since he had eaten something that wasn’t just coffee on it’s own. “Hmmm....”  He tilted his head as he eyed them all, “My mum always got a slice of lemon meringue pie...” As he briefly trailed off a fond smile reached his hues. “She tried so hard to replicate the one they do here, but she never quite managed.... i mean, i thought they were all delicious, but she was her toughest critic.”  Why was he just suddenly gushing about her anyway? Dirk hardly ever spoke about his mother unless asked... Maybe it was just that her birthday was coming up and she had been on his mind, yeah must have been that.

“But I always liked the jam and cream sponge.”  A chuckle fell from Dirk’s lips as he spoke, “It’s all so good, though i can’t really pick a favourite.”

“Well, if your not too busy of course, would you mind splitting something with me?” Violet asked.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?! she thought.

That was way to forward. Dear Merlin…. she had asked him before she even had realized it, unable to stop herself. “I mean, I just have never been here, and I would hate to choose something pedestrian. But if you have somewhere else to be, no problem.” Violet tried to regulate her breathing, nonchalantly, as she offered another toothy grin.

Dirk had always been, almost to his own detriment, far too friendly and open to meeting new people. He also knew that right now was not exactly the best time to start making new friends, and hanging round with total strangers. But even still, somewhere between his overly friendly side and still finding familiar in the woman, a smile started to grow on his lips and he found himself nodding. “Sure, what do you fancy?”  

“I actually just got off work, so I didn’t have a huge amount planned.”  He sighed slightly, his smile nearly faltering.  It bothered him that aside from Ted, he didn’t have someone to hang out with after work if Teddy was busy.  Not that Dirk disliked his own company, but he was human afterall and cursed to feel lonely every now and then.  “Wait... am i keeping you?  Do you have to be somewhere?” 

Her face was buried in his chest, not caring who was passing around them. She probably looked strange given that she hadn’t changed out of her St. Mungo’s attire, but she was too tired and emotionally spent to care. In this moment, Evie wasn’t scared. She wasn’t paranoid that they would be caught. While they were in the middle of London, this was their spot. It was rare for her family or anyone who associated with them to be out in the Muggle world unless they were tracking down someone or about to attack. All that Evie was focused on was Dirk and holding him as though letting him go would cause her to lose him all over again. 

Suddenly, she was fifteen again, being comforted by her best friend before there was anyone else in the picture. Before the threats began. Before she did everything in her power to make sure that he was safe even at her own expense. Now that she had him back, she wasn’t ready to make that mistake again. “It’s not okay. I was awful. I… I wish I could take it all back,” she said, her voice hitching from trying to control the inevitable sobs.

Dirk wanted to hold onto that moment, just him and Evie sharing an embrace, in surroundings that were, for the most part, safe.  At least, they were safer than a little cafe in the middle of Diagon Alley. He bowed his head slightly to nestle into the crook of her neck, just wanting time to slow so that he could fully take in Evie’s scent, which had always brought Dirk comfort. In fact, he was sure that he were ever to breathe in Amortentia he would only smell Evie.  

He sighed against her shoulder, before raising his head slowly.  He tried to hide the pain and longing in his eyes, though he knew that he had failed, too tired to try harder. Finding her gaze, Dirk repeated himself softly “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. None of it.” He said, with a slight shake of his head. Dirk was probably the last person on Earth to hold any sort of grudge, and even if he were capable of that, it would never be against the woman standing before him. Had it hurt him? Of course, but in Dirk’s mind, Evie was never to blame for the distance that had started to grow between them.  It had been the fault of society, and maybe he should have tried harder to push threw to her.   He pulled away slowly, though his gaze remained locked on her face. “Do you want to go for a walk or something?”  He really hoped that she didn’t want to leave right away.

Alice nodded along. She understood the struggle. There were times she felt as if she was invincible only to become completely burned out in two weeks. She assumed Dirk was going through a similar feeling, though not in the exact same way. It seemed he had something weighing on him and it was none of her business to ask him what was wrong. So, she elected to smile and just be as understanding as possible. There was never anything wrong with offering someone a safe space to be themselves in their worst state.

“Buddy, you don’t have to apologize to me once let alone twice in the same breathe,” she teased with a scrunch of her nose at Dirk before having it flutter into a flurry of giggles. Alice observed him for a moment. “If you have a muggle tele, Coronation Street. And I’m Alice. Pleasure to meet you, Dirk.”

Dirk raised a hand to pinch at his temple, over apologising was something that his mother used to always tell him off for. ‘Sometimes I think you would apologise to a man robbing the house, for not having anything worth stealing.’ She would say with a smile on her face, dumbfounded by her only son. 

Alice’s further comment, only made Dirk chuckle and shake his head. “My gran watches that...”  He raised one shoulder in a half shrug. “I actually find it kinda comforting, my dad’s family are Northern so when I miss them, I sometimes turn it on.”  A further laugh fell from his lips, “So uhh, what are you up to?  Planning on a night in watching Corrie?”

Evie wasn’t sure what she was expecting of him. Sure, he said that he missed her, but that could be the extent of it. He could have been still so upset with her and not wanting to rehash the past. So when he stood up and said goodnight without explanation, she felt the disappointment fill her body. They couldn’t go back to the way things were, back when everything was simple and when she wasn’t under constant scrutiny. So, that would be it. They would part ways and go back to their lives without each other, one that was extremely lonely on her end.

And then she heard it. Those words from so long ago. She couldn’t help but look up and smile at his words. It brought her back to the times when her and Dirk explored the Muggle world together, the breaks when she lied to her parents about staying at Hogwarts when instead she went to spend time with Dirk’s family. It was a time when she started the process of unlearning the prejudices and hatred that had been instilled in her as a child. Evie remembered the song and how happy they were at that time. It was with those few words that she knew exactly what to do.

She waited for him to leave before paying her tab and walking a block or so before finally apparating to that old cafe. Evie looked up at the sign, unable to believe that it was still up and running after all of these years. The fact that it was still standing gave her hope as did the sight of him standing there waiting for her. Unable to restrain herself anymore, she strode up to him and hugged him tightly. “I remember… I remember it all…” she murmured, trying hard not to cry.

There was an aching in Dirk’s gut, he was absolutely terrified that Evie wouldn’t show up, that she wouldn’t remember.  Or maybe she did, but couldn’t come, or worse, didn’t want to come.  He was leaning against a brick wall, just outside of the cafe, one leg bent against the wall, arms folded.  He was still, though his heart was racing. On any other day, under any other circumstance, he might have noticed the noises he had missed whilst in the wizarding world, like the sound of cars rushing by, and planes overhead.... even just the way Muggles spoke to eachother. But his mind was one thousand miles away from being that much at rest, it was going a mile a minute, and he couldn’t focus on one thing long enough. He glanced down at his wristwatch.  Blimey, it had only been mere minutes, but it definitely felt like hours had passed since he had last been with Evie. How long should he wait for her?  Honestly, he would have probably waited hours. Dirk had started biting his nails now, an anxious habit that he thought he had kicked. 

But then, he heard, or thought he heard the sound unmistakable to a wizard, but barely even noticeable to a muggle. The whooshing noise when someone aparates.  Pushing himself off the wall, his eyes started to scan the street and then, his gaze settled on Evie who was walking towards him. Instantly, the clenching in his chest eased and an audible sigh of relief left his lips.  All he wanted was to hold her in a hug, and she seemed to read his mind, because before he could open his mouth to speak, there they were hugging, in the very place that Dirk first started to fall in love with her.  Without a single thought, he wrapped his arms around Evie, and on any other day, he might have stopped himself, but he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.  Tightening his hold around her.  “I know..... hey, it’s okay.”  Dirk murmured, hearing the pain in her voice.  What a sight they must have looked to anyone passing, though Dirk could not have cared less.  “It’s alright, it’s just us. Just you and me.”

Violet watched as he analyzed her face. Violet knew full well that physically she shared more characteristics with her mother then her father, so genetically her likeness had to be similar somewhat to Helena. He muttered sorry, before glancing at the cup he seemed to have forgotten.  “Uhh just a coffee that my mum used to drink, s’pose I could have got it anywhere really, but she always used to swear by this place, it was her favourite…” So Evangeline didn’t lie, color me surprised she thought, before she heard him apologizing again.

Just as Violet opened her mouth to assure him that it was ok, he said it. He asked if he knew her. Welp, this is moving much faster then anticipated. “I…I dont think so” Violet replied, “do you work in the ministry? I work in the DMLE, I could also just have one of those faces.” Violet shrugged her shoulders, hoping he would accept this. But then Violet did something even surprising to her. 

“I’ve actually never been here. My mum actually used to frequent it when she was younger. She was just telling me while I visited with her today. Figured it was worth a visit.” Violet continued, surprising even herself. 

The sensation Dirk was feeling sort of reminded him of when he used to watch Muggle soap opera’s with his paternal grandmother, and the pair of them would recognise an actors face, but couldn’t place them for the entirety of whatever they were watching, only for it to come to one of them hours, and sometimes days later. It was usually just that they had seen them in another show they had also binged. It must have just been that he had seen this woman’s face in passing and had taken it on board without realising....yeah must have just been that. Because there was an alternative which had not escaped Dirk’s mind, but firstly, he had absolutely no idea if his mother’s sister was even still alive, let alone if she ever had kids. That right there was a huge, and unlikely leap.  Merlin Dirk, stop being so dramatic. 

Nodding in agreement, “Yeah, guess it must be that.  I work in the Ministry too, theres so many faces in there.” And he had thought the muggle world was a busying place full of people needing to go where they are going, bustling about. But the wizarding world was that ten fold, and the Ministry was just one building within that mayhem. 

“She has good taste.”  Dirk said with a kind smile weaving onto his lips. Deciding not to add that she was lucky she still had her mother to visit, even for him, who seemed to be experiencing some kind of truth serum episode, just without the serum, that was too personal.  “Their baked stuff is so good too, highly recommend. It’s a shame your mum didn’t come with you, nothing quite beats sitting in here...the smell and the atmosphere and everything.”

There was so much that Evie wanted to say, wanted to do. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and shake him for being the same amazing man that she knew him to be. For being so forgiving even though she didn’t deserve it. Evie wanted to cry into his shoulder and catch up on all the time that was lost between them. To run away and have the life she dreamed of having with him at the young age of sixteen. The fact that everything was still present even after six years of trying to keep him from her heart and mind proved that the distance didn’t change how she felt.

It didn’t seem like a big deal to most that Dirk was a half-blood. If he was a Muggle born, that would be down right scandalous, but a half blood? That couldn’t be that bad. But Evie was the only daughter of one of the Sacred 28 families. Her parents were proud of the purity of their line and had fervent expectations that their family tree shouldn’t be tainted by a single drop of Muggleborn blood in their descendants. These were things that Evie didn’t care about, but she couldn’t say that out loud. She wasn’t as brave as Sirius. She didn’t know what she would do out on her own. 

Her eyes watered, tears threatening to fall. Evie had trained herself to control the crying as she grew up, but given how exhausted she was, she lacked the self discipline to hold back much longer. Evie lifted her palms to her eyes, trying to stop from making a scene. “We should go somewhere. Not here. I just… We should talk,” she said in quiet tone for only him to hear. 

Dirk’s heart sank when Evie said that she wanted to talk, was she going to tell him that was betrothed and she couldn’t do this again?  Was she trying to save him the embarrassment of telling him publicly that she wanted him to leave her alone. Dirk trusted Evie implicitly, so he wasn’t frightened, or worried that she would lead him to a certain doom or anything like that.  But he still had a foreboding sensation sinking further, and further into his gut, he wanted to talk to her, of course he did, but he was so worried about what she wanted to say. 

He knew that the concern must have been visible on his face, so he cleared his throat and nodded. Dirk knew that it wasn’t entirely safe to linger around, though he also knew that if they left through the front door together, that wouldn’t be safe either.... his Auror training was definitely showing.  The Ministry really ought to be doing a better job with patrols at night, but they weren’t, so he thought of the muggle side.  Feigning a yawn, Dirk said at a normal volume, “Anyway I better go, I’am shattered, goodnight.”  He had an idea, which would go either really well, or terribly, depending on how well Evie remembered their time together as best friends.  It had been back during those days that Dirk’s feelings had really been cemented and never changed since, those days had laid the foundations for how he felt now.  Back then, Dirk had relished in showing Evie around Muggle London, it was something of an escape for him even now and he had wanted to share that with her. 

Getting to his feet he added, “Time for me to sleep, if i can dream...”  He trailed off and started to leave.  It was a reference to a cafe that Dirk took Evie to when they were kids, it was old even then, owned by a very loud and proud Elvis fan. On their first visit, the owner was singing the 1968 hit ‘If i can dream’  and it had became something of a inside joke for them, because the guy couldn’t sing at all, but it was somehow endearing.  Dirk only hoped that Evie knew what that meant, and as he left the restaurant, he rounded the corner to a quiet patch and disaparated to the old cafe in London right next to Kings cross, and waited, hoping.  Because she either knew what he meant, or she thought he had just left her there without another word.