Independent

words cannot describe how much i love showering. my wet contemplative box

If you saw me recreationally vaccinating homeschooled children with blow darts then you should be thanking me, no? Relax a little. Blow darts are cool

You are just jealous of my ethical human safari

Tumblr should never have given us polls. Everyday I have to see years-old polls cross my dash proudly proclaiming past-me's vote which I now disagree with. Let me change my vote!! I have rethought which Tetris piece is the sexiest.

will i eat a nuanceberry? depends

this post makes me feel patriotic

This is how life is supposed to be.

This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.

WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????

Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook

Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.

WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL

This is very true lol

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.

What the fuck

hm. 

I legit thought this was a shitpost until I saw the rest of the comments

I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, too.

Well I never

I’m asexual but reblogging to potentially save lives

kind of embarrasing when your life is actually going pretty well but you still have mental health problems. it's like when you drink water but still have a headache like what the hell. you're telling me this isn't because of the Situations i'm actually just like this. i want a refund.

sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling all that great lately. Do you want me to hunt you for sport

no worries if not. will be thinking of you regardless

Migraine sufferers will be like "it's not like I'm disabled or anything, it's just that if I do any of these normal everyday things other people do all the time, my head explodes. But I'm fine honestly, as long as I avoid doing anything ever and my environment and the weather never changes, then my head explodes a little less"

The fact I had no fucking clue which euphemisms were about sex and which ones were about playing banjo

😂😂😂😂

For anyone that might want to say this is bad to do, the strong man knew losing was a option so his feelings shouldn't be hurt and you're not going to get a lioness to do something it doesn't want to do and it apparently wanted to show up a strongman.

tug of war is enrichment for many big cats! and she is partaking in this wonderfully and making him Very Red