secret garden

listening to the same playlist at work is getting to be too much of the same sensory, and podcasts make me laugh too much, or if I'm not paying attention I get lost lmao

i hope i don't come off as like bragging or something, but i am just genuinely so happy. i put that blanket in the washing machine and i've just been all quietly happy crying about it. I think that this is probably the most birthday gifts i've gotten in a loooong time and it's all stuff that is immediately helpful and immediately improving my quality of life.

honestly i'm just thankful for this space. knowing that there are so many other adults that face similar struggles, and have similar outlooks and just want to have peace and happiness and don't know how to do that in this kind of chaos and loud

it's not something i had really processed but until i got these blankets/sheets/pillowcases as a gift, i've been using the blankets and pillowcase that i brought up with me when i left my ex. one we thrifted when we got to kc, and one was secondhand from his brother. i won't get rid of those blankets because even though i shared them with my ex, i also shared them with my cats and my dogs and they will always mean more to me than anything else, even though they're no longer here with me. but it will be very good for my mental health i think to fold those blankets up and store them away in a bag for a while. i will always have my memories of the good times, and if i ever really need the comfort i'll be able to dig those blankets out, but having something so closely tied to my ex that i've used every night has been messing with me more than i think i realized.

i just got another of the comforter sets that was on my wishlist. i can't tell you how thankful i am for these gifts. i haven't really had much new stuff like that since i was a kid, and then it was never really my choice when it came to new bedding. it's probably something not a lot of people even consider, but when you've gone without for so long something like a bedding set that matches and that hasn't been owned by another family first is just a perfect gift. this is a bad year in a lot of ways, but thanks to the kindness from people here, it doesn't feel quite so hopeless on a personal level.