Relate.....

Think of a number, double it, add 6, divide it by 2, subtract the original number, your answer is 3.

A pizza is a circle, cut into triangles, put into a square box.

If the camera lens is a circle, then why is the picture a square?

Im too busy working on my grass to notice if yours is greener.

Im thankful for all the people who I dont like, because they made me realize all the ways i dont want to be like them.

One of the biggest things i have learned in life is that, you are going to meet lots of people, and some people will be in your life forever and some people wont, but they all impact you in some way. They teach you a lesson or something you didnt know before. So be thankful for everyone you meet because is some way, shape, or form, you wouldnt be yourself right now without them...

I literally stood behind someone for 5 mins, as they were pulling a door that said push....This is my life daily.....Those are 5 mins ill never get back....thanks dad. 

Why cant someone invent a clear toaster, so we can see how toasted our toast is while its toasting??...

Why arent iphone chargers called apple juice....

I wish I had a cute laugh, or a laugh that is contagious, but I usually end up sounding like a hyperventilating walrus that has asthma. 

How can people life weights? my arms get tired by just putting my hair in a ponytail...

Retweet if you try to do a ton of things during the commercials.

I love in scary movies, the person yells out “Hello?” as if the bad guy is gonna be like “Im in the kitchen, want a sandwich?”

Retweet if you try to blow your nose in class super quietly because you dont want everyone to look at you