chiara

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

The Face of Dawn

☁️This placement plagues everyday life. It's going to work every day paranoid about what people think about you, and getting frustrated because you can't tell. It's being petrified of discovering an ugly truth because you won't be able to handle it. It's going over conversations in your mind over and over again, creating a new conclusion each time, even though you know that no matter how hard you try you'll never be able to truly know people's intentions. It's never knowing who you are and feeling like you could become anyone you want, but wanting to find who you are at your core. People tell you how beautiful you are while they're manipulating you.

I've had relationships where for years I've thought someone close to me was one way and then something happened that revealed how clouded my perception of them was. It was like someone had broken down a wall and revealed all of the deceit and red flags that had been right in front of my face the entire time, but somehow I was completely blind until I was screwed over. People detect how vulnerable you are and take advantage of it, then tease you for being naive. This even happens with strangers. Narcissists love you because you're compassionate to things you should be wary of, and they know that all they have to do is whine to you and you'll be their doormat. You even risk becoming a narc yourself.

It's not finding out you've been wasting your time until the damage is done. It's thinking you're on good terms with someone, and then finding out they can't stand you or that they're gossiping about you, then asking yourself what you did to cause them to do that. It's relying on others' perceptions about you, and then finding out how you thought they perceived you was just wishful thinking. It's having a hunch that something isn't right but disregarding it because it doesn't fit what people tell you or how it looks, and then finding out your intuition was correct the entire time.

Out in public, you can be such a chameleon it's almost an art. Even though you're not trying to be, it's just your unconscious nature to blend in with your circumstances. Everyone thinks you're like them, because you reflect their personality back to them. You could be moody one day, and outgoing another.

Fantasy is your safe haven that never lets you down, but ironically is your demise. It's the only place you feel safe because there are no ulterior motives, no lies, and nothing happening to you against your will. You want to believe that everything is as it should be, that everything is safe and nothing is wrong, so you approach the world as if this is the case. And when reality slaps you in the face, you go into defense mode and pick apart everything people say.

If you have negative Neptune aspects, your saving grace is your creativity and intuition. When interacting with people, we need to learn to take things at face value, while paying attention to the vibes. And if we discover that we're wrong (even though vibes are rarely wrong), we simply know what to look for next time. But we also need to learn to ACCEPT when we're wrong, and know that no one is weak enough that hardships can destroy us. Learning how to differentiate intuition from fantasy is key. Rely on being straight forward and honest. We need to learn to trust that our abilities and what makes us unique have nothing to do with other people, and accept that our talents are significant on their own. Your artistic abilities give you piece of mind. I find that when I write, I come closer to understanding what's inside of me because It's on paper right in front of me, and I can physically see the chaos, and I can in turn dissect it. Cleansing your home and having a safe place and creative outlet is vital. Meditating or even sitting in nature, breathing deep, paying attention to the five senses works wonders.