*I'M SORRY.

 triggering  /  nsfw   may  be  present ,  these  are  taken  from  varying  seasons  of  the  show.

“  You’ve gotta stop staring at me, man. ”

“  Reunions are strange. They bring up a lot of feelings about your past.  ”

“  Were you a jock? A pothead? A Drama Club kid? A loser? Did you get the girl?  ”

“  Who did you want to be, and who did you actually become?  ”

“  How could you have not researched these guys?  ”

“  You said he died of natural causes!  ”

“  You naturally die if you get two bullets to the head. ”

“  Who’s this sexy bitch?  ”

“  No no no, before you kill me, I want to tell you something.  ”

“  After we had sex, you farted in your sleep - like six times.  ”

“  Man, these two assholes deserve each other. ”

“  They actually got divorced. They’re still really good friends, though.  ”

“  They had twins together, but… she got remarried. ”

“  There’s like five houses in this house.   ”

“  Hey dude, I’m lost. Can you tell me where the side of the road is?  ”

“  You ready for this?  ”

“  Fuck yes. You only live twice, right?  ”

“  Permission to come aboard, [ name ]? ”

“  Damn, [ name ]. You still hung up on that skank?  ”

“  A very successful doctor, with an impeccable record, who unfortunately got two bullets to the head. ”

“  It’s been fun, [ name ].  ”

“  You know, a good friend of mine once told, you have to have a rubber in your wallet.  ”

“  He also suggested carrying around zombie makeup for those times when you want to strike terror.  ”

“  Who the hell are you, man? And don’t lie to me again! ”

“  Maybe I’m not good with words.  ”

“  I went to the police academy. ”

“  I couldn’t pop a fucking wheelie. ”

“  Where did you get these dead bodies?  ”

“  I found them dead. I didn’t kill them. ”

“  I guess that’s where I should have come clean.  ”

“  You always think shit through better than I do.   ”

“  What’s our next move? What do we do now?  ”

“  What do we do? We turn ourselves in now. ”

“  Oh my god, we’re screwed! I’m an idiot!  ”

“  With no place to live and no way to drive, we found a way to combine the two.  ”

“  We found the house easy enough but couldn’t just go up and knock on the door. ”

“  What was I doing?  Uh … I was having some fun.  ”

“  Who were you talking to?  ”

“  I was talking to the one, eight hundred number, the dial a boner, a girl talks to you. “

“  You said it like it’s so normal. ”

“  Just follow her, you can do this, we can do this.  ”

“  Jesus, what the hell were you thinking?  ”

“  That’s why I bought you the phone book so you can see over the steering wheel. ”

“  How many asshole drivers can you see right now? ”

“  I’m pretty sure it’s just a bruise.  ”

“  He gets nervous every time he likes somebody, oops, did I say that? ”

“  I’m so sorry, I’m going to have to get you out of here. ”

“  Leave me out! Leave me out! Leave me out! ”

“  Trust you? You kidnapped me!  ”

“  Can you please pull over, I can’t breath. It’s hot in here.  ”

“  We don’t have time for that buddy, just get over that. ”

“  Who are you pretending to be? ”

“  Fun enough to land himself on the FBI’s most wanted list. ”

“  Both of their bodies were found together. ”

“  I guess that makes sense why our house was broken into last night.”

“  I bet they were looking for something. ”

“  Astonishing work there Nancy Drew, did they possible hide something there?  ”

“  Bang, bang, let’s roll. ”

“  I was just wondering if you happen to know a badass by the name of [ name ]. ”

“  She’s so far out of my league, I can’t think straight. “

“  So, Benjamin Button here is going to buy you another drink. ”

“  He’s at the bottom of the ocean, let me show you a picture. ”

“  Why would they shut down something that was working?  ”

“  That brings back some nice memories. ”

“  That ain’t a tongue ring, that’s a cock stud. ”

“  I know you wanna kiss me but I’m not your [ name ]. ”

“  I ain’t afraid of you, I ain’t afraid of fucking nothing! ”

“  I can’t believe that guy find us. ”

“  They can torture the shit out of her, she won’t cough up a word.  ”