It is the details of memory and chronological scene-by-scene retelling that activates associated implicit memories, dysregulates the nervous system, and can have a retraumatizing effect on the client. Acknowledging the trauma or implicit triggered memories is never unsafe, especially when we allude to the “bad things that happened” in a more general way without vivifying the details of them or using triggering language, such as “rape,” “incest,” or “penetration.” When the therapist alludes to the “unsafe world you grew up in,” or “the years when nowhere was safe,” most clients feel validated and supported. This kind of matter-of-fact acknowledgment of the past often calms the traumatized nervous system rather than activating it: it conveys, “Someone knows how it was.”
In addition, when they talk about a traumatic event, therapist and client have a choice of focus: they can concentrate on the experience of horror (most likely to trigger implicit memories), or on the victimization and objectification (most likely to trigger shame), or they can bring attention to how the individual survived. How did he adapt to a traumatogenic environment? How did she “fight” or “flee” without incurring more punishment? How did he get up and go to school the next morning?
Janina Fisher, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors
