Music is the sound of my soul

Sometimes music is the only comfort to deal with things.

Sometimes the last thing I want to hear is “it gets better.”

Kinda just want to disappear and know that no one will notice when I do. :/

In a weird way the darkness becomes a comfort. As crazy as that sounds. It starts to feel safer than anywhere else. Idk maybe that just me.

I’m sure most people would say the world would be a better place without me. I don’t disagree

The other thing about depression is it kind of collapses time. Suddenly you find your whole days blending together to create one endless and suffocating loop. So you find yourself trying to remember the things that made you happy but slowly, your brain begins to erase every memory that ever brought you joy. And eventually, all you can think about is how life has always been this way, and will continue to be this way.

There’s nothing poetic about this. Living inside a body that tries to survive but having a mind that doesn’t want to. The sadness is in my bones. This isn’t drowning, this is sinking. It’s like I’m screaming, but no one can hear me. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll feel like this forever. It’s exhausting and I’m so tired….

Today is just one of those days where the loneliness hits close to the heart.