JEALOUS!TAEHYUNG who takes a deep breath before entering a party with you. it could be considered dramatic, it could be considered exaggerated, but the truth is, before Taehyung entered a party or event with you, he needed strength. no matter how accustomed he was to festivities, the reality is that when you accompanied him, everything changed. suddenly, Taehyung was paying attention to everyone and mediating all interactions. as if by miracle, Taehyung could hear all the conversations that surrounded you too; as if by miracle, Taehyung could sense all the intentions of the people who approached you. as if by miracle, Taehyung was able to disconnect from the world and only pay attention to you. “those two over there in the corner, in blue? yea, those. i heard that they are looking for people, if you know what i mean. try to be careful with them, okay? you can hold my hand if you feel uncomfortable.”
JEALOUS!TAEHYUNG who never hid from you what was in his heart. he had no problem admitting what he felt. it was jealousy. simple as that. you and Taehyung lived based on communication; you were both apologists that in order to have a healthy relationship, of any kind, it was crucial to communicate and admit when something affected you. and seeing people flirting with you affected Taehyung. seeing people stealing smiles and laughter from you affected Taehyung. and he would tell you and you would just smile, caress his face and give him a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose to show that you heard him and that you understood him. “i didn’t like him at all, sorry. the way he looked at you… he was practically undressing you with his eyes! i know it’s important to close a deal with him, but is there no way you can reject it without it affecting your work?”
JEALOUS!TAEHYUNG who bombards you with messages declaring your importance in his life. communication. the foundation of your relationship. sweet words never made a heart bitter. why hold them inside when he knew they could wrap your heart in a blanket of comfort and happiness? “i think my only purpose in this life is to love you and make you feel loved. you taught me everything, you showed me the world. you took care of all my facets and treated them as if they were all important. and for that i just have to give back. all the love you gave me. all the reassurance you gave me. all the hope you gave me.”
JEALOUS!TAEHYUNG who asks you not to hang out anymore with that person he really doesn’t like. Taehyung was jealous. not from all!, but from some. and these in particular touched a part of his heart that Taehyung didn’t like. it was as if they were pulling at the delicate fabric of his heart, wanting to break it to take away all the love he felt for you. so, to protect his heart, and eventually yours too, Taehyung would just warn you to be careful around them. you didn’t need to end the friendship or something so extreme. just be careful. Taehyung didn’t have a good feeling. “call me as soon as the meeting is over. i’ll stay on call with you until i pick you up. i don’t want you alone with them. i know they are your co-workers, but i don’t trust them. i won’t be long, i promise.”
JEALOUS!TAEHYUNG who blames you for the way he feels. Taehyung had never felt so vulnerable and fragile as when he started a friendship with you. you looked like you had cast a spell on him, a dark enchantment that transformed Taehyung into such a delicate and defenseless person. he was never like this. before meeting you, Taehyung didn’t even care enough about a person to feel any kind of jealousy. before he met you, Taehyung loved seeing his friends happy with whoever they wanted. but with you… since you appeared in Taehyung’s life you manipulated his heart, molding it with all your love and affection to fit perfectly alongside yours. you sculpted Taehyung into the person he currently was—all bad, all good. you were the creator of Taehyung — of all his love, of all his jealousy. “before i met you, i didn’t want to know one bit about my friends’ relationships. friendships or dating were insignificant to me. but there’s something about you… you have something that makes me nervous. it seems like you were the one who injected me with jealousy. i don’t like feeling this way.”
JEALOUS!TAEHYUNG who doesn’t like to feel that bitter taste in his heart. you were affectionate with Taehyung. you showered Taehyung in love and care. your words were ethereal symphonies to Taehyung’s ears. all of you was sweetness, everything about you was sweetness. so why was there still a bitter, sour, spicy taste that burned Taehyung’s heart? it seemed to come with the changing of the seasons, emerging with the arrival of flowers and the departure of butterflies. how did you, tender and affable, leave a trail of bitterness?
JEALOUS!TAEHYUNG who says he doesn’t want to lose you. “i can’t take much more, you know? i think it’s the uncertainty of losing you that is consuming me. i’ve never been afraid of losing anyone, because no one has ever managed to be so important to me to get to that point. but with you, from the first day i saw you, i immediately thought ‘here’s the half i didn’t know i’d lost’. and, i don’t know. maybe it’s the fear of being too much for you or not being enough. or the fear of telling you something that will hurt you and you won’t be able to forgive me. but it’s fear. what i feel for you is fear. yes, i love you, but this fear… this fear consumes me. i don’t want to lose you.”
