Ysa

Fourth birthday. My favorite birthday celebration in bcd. I still distinctly remember what happened that day with my grandfather's 3 gifts for me that I surely enjoyed. It's been five years, lolo. Today marks your 5th death anniversary and I miss you everyday. I hope you are proud with your apo. I think and pray to God about you each day. I hope you are fine up there.

Ang Tonsuya ay isang baranggay na matatagpuan sa Malabon City sa Metro Manila. Ang pangunahing sakuna na aming dinaranas ay ang pagbaha kahit pa hindi naman ganoon kalakasan ang ulan. Marahil dahil ito sa mababang lupain at mga baradong kanal na siyang dahilan upang mabilis na umangat ang tubig sa aming mga kalsada. Bukod pa rito, kami rin ay nakararanas ng iba pang sakuna kagaya na lamang ng sunog at lindol.

Ayon sa aking nakapanayam na tiga baranggay na ayaw ipahayag ang kaniyang pangalan at larawan, tingin niya raw na ang lubos na maaapektuhan sa mga sakunang ito ay ang mga taong walang tirahan at mga taong walang bahay na matitirhan. Ako ay lubos na sumasangayon sa kaniyang sinabi dahil iyon din ang aking pinaniniwalaan. Idagdag mo pa ang mga Persons with Disabilities (PWD) na siyang mahihirapan sa paglikas sa pagdating ng mga sakuna.

Sa tuwing mayroong sakuna, ito ay lubos na nakasisira at nakakapagpatigil sa daloy ng pag-unlad ng ating ekonomiya dahil sa mga imprastrakturang nasisira at mga apektadong negosyo. Pero ang tanong, ginagawa nga ba ng gobyerno ang kanilang makakaya upang mabilis na maaksyunan ang mga di inaasahan at di kanais nais na pangyayari kagaya nito? 

Ayon sa aking nakapanayam, ang tulong na ipinaglilingkod ng aming baranggay at ng aming siyudad sa panahon ng sakuna ay ang pagkakaroon ng evacuation centers para sa mga lumilikas at pagbibigay ng pagkain at iba pang pangunahing pangangailangan. Nagkakaroon din ng mga seminar upang malaman ng taong bayan ang mga nararapat na paghanda at tamang gawin upang maging ligtas sa mga ganitong klase ng sitwasyon.

Sa aking panayam, napagtanto ko na ginagawa ng gobyerno ang kanilang parte upang masiguro ang kaligtasan ng mga mamamayan ngunit alam ko rin na marami pa silang maaaring gawin upang mas mapabuti ang kanilang sistema patungkol sa DRRM. Tayo rin, bilang isang komunidad, ay dapat na magtulong tulong upang panatilihin ang kalinisan dahil tunay na ang basura na naiipon sa kanal ay isa sa mga malalaking dahilan ng pagbaha. Aking napapansin na kahit hindi naman ganoon kalakas ang ulan ay nagbabaha na sa aking pamayanan. Naniniwala ako na kung magtutulong tulong ang gobyerno at taong bayan, ay mas maiiwasan natin at mas mapaghahandaan ang mga ganitong klase ng kalamidad.

I made a video last January 1, 2019, it was about my wishes for myself this year. Looking back right now, I can proudly say that my January 2019 self is so proud of the person I have become. It's not about the achievements nor the titles. It's about the journey itself. It's about me being brave enough to conquer the things I was so afraid of back then.

I started the year turning 18. Then had my OJT and made friends during February. I have written our graduation song, sang the Responsorial Psalm during our Baccalaureate Mass, and graduated Senior High. Although there have been prayers of mine which were answered by God as a no (which I will not share anymore), these things have always been in my heart for the longest time and He made me wait a little longer so that it would be extra special. Who would have thought I'd be able to sing a Responsorial Psalm in one of the most important mass for us graduates? Who would have thought I'd be the one to write a graduation song that will be remembered even if we have already parted our own ways? The Lord had made these things possible for me and have granted my prayers in His perfect timing.

Summer came and I had my first job. I applied without my family knowing. I really had second thoughts with this but I decided to continue and see what will happen. I became a service crew in McDonald's. I have experienced mingling with people from workmates, to customers, to our managers. It was really a wonderful experience but it wasn't a smooth sailing one, I tell you. Sa Mcdo ko natutunan mag thank you lagi kahit ikaw yung inuutusan, natutunan kong mag work underpressure, natutunan kong ngumiti lang lagi kahit pagod ka na o galit ka na (charot), natutunan ko yung malasakit sa store at sa kapwa ko, natutunan ko rin maging observant kasi hindi naman lahat ng bagay ituturo sayo. Wala na ako doon ngayon pero alam na alam ko pa rin kung paano gumawa ng "standard" products na sineserve namin. Maraming beses akong nagkamali diyan, maraming beses akong nagpavoid, naglagay sa wrong cup, may natapon na drinks. Maraming beses may mga masasakit na salita pero ayos lang. Never akong bumitaw at patuloy lang. Dahil kahit maraming dahilan para bumitaw doon, may dahilan pa rin para manatili. Mcdo really taught and let me experience things that I can still apply with life itself even if I have already resigned. Nakakatuwa na kilala pa rin nila ako tuwing bumibisita ako doon kahit feeling ko hindi naman kasing laki ng ambag nila ang ambag ko pagdating sa serbisyo sa store. Ang sarap lang balikan yung mga araw na natututo palang ako at nung mabagal pa ko kumilos, ang galing no? Kaya ko rin naman pala.

So why did I resign? Nagresign ako dahil nagkaroon ng oportunidad na makasali sa school organization which is UST Junior Marketing Association. It's like a student council but specifically for Marketing Students. Eto nanaman ako sa trying new things, sabi ko bakit hindi ko subukan wala namang mawawala. I have never joined any student council things back then nung highschool. Puro kanta lang kasi ganap ko nung highschool eh, straight glee club from gradeschool to junior highschool to senior highschool. Alam kong may potential ako pero kinakabahan ako. Natatakot ako. Ano ba namang alam ko dun diba? I got accepted and until today, I am grateful I took the risk and tried. Being with JMA just gets better each day, yes I am still scared but a little less scared than I was before because I know there are people who are rooting for me and willing to help me incase I need some.

Why did I resign part 2? I joined Exceptionelle, the search for the next Marketing Ambassador and Ambassadress. Trying new things again. I never joined a pageant before. Pero nung pumasok yung mga tiga JMA sa room to ask kung sino ang representative namin and my block said na ako, I said yes. Why? To deviate norms. CHAROT. I just really wanna try and test my limits. Sabi ko sa sarili ko kaya ko ba 'to. First time ko 'tol. Di ako marunong maglakad, rumampa, magheels, wala talaga as in. Pero sabi ko I'll do my best with this one. And I made it, with the grace of God. Even the day of the pageant itself I was still kinda half-hearted, but I continued and I became brave. I conquered everything that is stopping me. First pageant, first crown, first bouquet I received in my life. Title holder with three special awards. I am so grateful.

It is just December 1st today, last chapter of 2019 and still a long way to go. I believe that God prepared and made all these things possible for me.

Key takeaways?

○Let no fear stop you nor hinder you from reaching your fullest potential

○Great things happen in God's perfect timing

○Stepping outside your comfort can be the scariest thing you will about to do but it will be the best decision you will ever make. You will thank yourself for being brave soon.

○Accept, love, and be yourself

○Prayers can be answered in "yes, no, or not now" Trust God because He knows what is best for you.

Thank you 2019, you are amazing. Cheers to being you and exploring more on what you can be. You are more than your fears.

At some point back then, I know in the silence of my heart that I wanted to join these things too. But I never said it out loud. I was never that confident back then to step outside of my box so I never tried even if there were opportunities intended for me. I always pray and thought about it, but I always said no because I think I'm not yet ready. I don't commit myself to responsibilities when I know I can't give my all into it.

Days before the pageant, doubts never left my mind but I always fought against it. I always go back and think about who I am and what I can do, what do I believe in, why am I doing this, and for whom I am doing this.

And now, this happened. God's plan and timing was just right. I prayed to God and I even talked to my mom. Ang sabi ko, whatever happens I'll do my best and I pray na sana lahat ng prinepare ko for this event ay maexecute ko ng tama. Sana hindi ako madapa. Sana makasagot ako ng maayos. Sana maituwid ng maayos 'to. Ang pinakaunang pumasok sa isip ko nung nanalo ako ay si God. Alam kong siya yun eh. Alam kong matagal akong naghintay ng sagot sa dasal na tahimik na nandun lang sa puso ko. God really makes all things beautiful in His timing.

I never joined pageants until today because it was never my thing. But I tell you, my greatest win in this event is the experience and the journey. I see myself grow, I see myself explore and discover more about me. And self discovery won't happen if you stay inside your box forever. At some point in your life, try things you have never done before and you'll see how much you are capable of and how strong you are. You'll know more about you. Life begins when you let no fear limit you from achieving greatness and reaching your fullest potential.

You are limitless. You perfectly shine the way you are. You are stronger than everything that is holding you back from being you.

Before I end this, I want to thank the following people:

To the UST Junior Marketing Association for giving us this opportunity not only for me to get outside of my box, but also as a platform to voice out our advocacies.

To my ever supportive orgmates, I never thought you'd support me this much. From the "good luck" messages, to helping me with dancing because I can't, to sharing my photo for the liking contest, to cheering for me while on stage, and for always reminding me na kaya ko 'to. Thank you. You guys are the best. (Di na ako magnname drop kasi baka mamaya may magtampo but you guys know who you are and I am beyond grateful for you)

To Marra Angelique who did my hair and make up during the photoshoot, edited my advocacy video, taught me how to strike a pose, asked me questions in order for me to practice the Q&A, shared my photo to her friends so that I'll win the Marketista's Choice Award. Thank you bb. You were always there to attend to my needs and to listen to me when I feel lost and unmotivated about everything I do. I will always value and treasure you from the bottom of my heart.

To Paloma Marie, my bestfriend, na nagcut ng class to watch me huhu. Nagulat ako when my mom said you were there kasi sabi mo nung morning na you wouldn't come. Thank you for always being there to support me. Thank you for coming out of your way just to be there and witness my growth. Of all people, you know how this moment really mattered to me and I really wanna share this one with you. Thank you.

To Alexandra my makeup artist from ustshs, like me, it was also a first for her to do somebody else's make up. Thank you for accepting to do my make up even with just a short notice. Sana gawin mo na 'tong legit na business kasi girl your make up is amazing talaga! Thank you also for our small chats while doing my make up. I indeed enjoyed your company.

To Sir Jemil na hmua ni Tin, my co-candidate. Thank you so much for doing my hair kahit di mo na po yun obligasyon. I look lovely that day because of you.

To Tito Farley for my Filipiñana, thank you so much po for your wonderful creation.

To my mom na SUPER SUPPORTIVE. Thank you mom and I love you. Thank you for listening to me everytime, for helping me with literally EVERYTHING. For coming to UST to watch me that day. I always appreciate your efforts for me and I am beyond blessed to have you as my mom. I hope I made you proud and happy.

To my dad na humabol sa awarding dahil galing work, thank you daddy! I hope you are proud and happy for me. I love you always.

To my ever supportive sisters who helped me with the pa-like contest to taking videos and photos of me during that night, thank you. You keep me going.

To myself, thank you for saying yes to this one. Thank you for deviating your own norm and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Thank you for not letting fear win against you this time. I barely say this but I AM PROUD OF YOU AND YOU ARE AMAZING. Thank you for trying. There is, and will always be, no harm in trying.

To God, who answered my prayers for 2019. God, you are amazing. You have made me ready and prepared for things I have prayed for. You have given me oppportunities to develop and know more about myself. Thank you for always reminding me that I shouldn't fear nor worry, because You have great plans for me in Your perfect timing. Cheers to all the "yes, no, and not now" answers to my prayers. I know and I believe that You'll make things wonderful for me.

Special thanks also to my co-candidates (Kian, Pierre, Kobe, Tin, and Jas), kay kuyang angkas driver na tumulong sa pagpapalike ko, kay Kuyang tiga IT na nakilala ko lang sa kanto ng Antonio pero nagshow ng support, at sa lahat ng sumuporta sa akin from pa-like to the day itself. You guys know who you are. Thank you.

To the ones who never doubted I could make it, thank you. Your support always have kept me motivated.

Patricia Isabel Cayabyab

✨ Best in Uniform ✨

✨ Ms. Photogenic ✨

✨ Marketista's Choice Award ✨

✨ Marketing Ambassadress 2019 ✨

Hola! It's been a while since I posted a blog. Well, the past few days have been very great. To summarize it:

November 1, 2018 - I spent my day at home.

November 2, 2018 - Me and my favorite person bonded at SM North Edsa together with her family.

November 3-4, 2018 - I spent these days with my family in Tagaytay. I had so much fun there. I miss it already.

November 5, 2018 - We went back to school and rechecked our papers. My exam scores were amazing! I saw my favorite person. I helped her in her groceries and we ate at Jollibee. My parents fetched me as we headed to Navotas City and do our own groceries.

November 6, 2018 - Second semester started. I saw my favorite person today and we spent hours watching Showtime with her grandmother. Afterwards, we went to SM Sangandaan to eat and buy at National Bookstore. We also played at Quantum and rested at Rest N Go. In the evening, I went outside to meet a buyer of my liptint.

USTET is a lot harder than UPCAT. Done taking an entrance test for my dream school.

Today is a happy day.

Spent the morning with my favorite person. She treated me coffee before I headed to school. The exams were easy because I reviewed well. My friend bought a choco butternut doughnut for me because I tweeted about it. It was unexpected and I was so touched. I appreciated it very much. Tomorrow is my UP exam. Wish me well. I'm going to see my favorite person tomorrow as well.

My sister's coronation night is tomorrow. All for Malabon, all for the Almighty Father.

My parents fetched me and we ate lunch at Chowking. My heart is happy.