cpacs

The way i have, like a goddamn dog, sniffed out more petruo

​hold on i have to look something up

yeah he’s autistic

@cellostargalactica 🙏🏼 thanks for everything youre a great writer

This sounds corny as hell but you know how kids learn animal sounds like “dogs go bark” and “cats go meow”? Because I like to imagine that if someone asked my cat what sounds humans make he’d say it’s “I love you”

I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all

Humans keeping cats and dogs as family members is like three prodigy assassins being introduced in the back of a shady nightclub and 45 minutes later they’re 6 crunchwrap supremes deep passing a blunt in the back of a shag carpeted Volkswagen microbus rating Oreo varietals by fuckability

tumblr users have the unique ability to string together sentences never before seen in all of human history and yet they conjure up such specific visceral imagery that you can’t help but be a little in awe. and i think that’s beautiful

Love and peace on planet earth

So rude that you can’t say “okay, I’m done thinking about that” and then actually stop thinking about it

“the heart wants what it wants”? okay well the heart is fucking stupid can we let someone else have a turn? maybe the spleen wants to have a go?

Y'all picked the worst possible option

let’s walk cautiously with mama