Cozi6-lab

Money is limited and times are hard, yet it seems they keep patching things,

and only positive articles about juggling debts keep appearing.

It’s strange, it’s frightening. I feel anxious.

-

세상이 이상해.

돈은 정해져있고, 어려운데 자꾸 땜질하는 것 같은,

돌려막기하는 긍정적 기사만나와.

-

Does time flow, or does it attack me at some point?

Life seems to hit me like a wave, not a flow.

-

오늘은 아빠가 돌아가신지 딱 5년이 되는 날이다.

시간은 흐르는걸까, 아니면 어느순간 나를 덮치는걸까?

Truth is always subjective.

At any given moment, what someone believes to be the truth might be the best they can offer. But what happens if we lose the effort to even try and speak the truth?

In a world filled with skillful lies, the truth would be suffocated. Those who try hard to be truthful might eventually break. This is because the effort to find the truth and to speak it requires constantly doubting yourself, learning, and refining your perspective again and again.

I am afraid. I'm afraid that this kind of world will vanish. A world where even the smallest effort towards truth disappears, and all that remains are lies.

In that world, truth might not be able to survive anymore.

-

진실의 숨결

진실은 언제나 주관적이다.

어떤 순간에는 그것이 상대의 최선일 수도 있다. 그러나 만약 진실을 말하려는 노력조차 사라지는 세상이 된다면 어떻게 될까.

교묘한 거짓들로 가득 찬 세상 속에서 진실은 숨이 막힐 것이다. 진실하기 위해 애쓰는 사람들은 결국 부서져버릴지도 모른다. 왜냐하면 진실을 찾고, 그것을 말하려는 노력은 끊임없이 자신을 의심하고, 배우고, 다시 다듬어야 하는 과정이기 때문이다.

나는 두렵다. 그런 세상이 소멸될까봐. 진실을 향한 작은 노력조차 사라져버리고, 남는 것은 거짓뿐인 세상.

These days, it’s common to upload cute videos or ASMR content to TikTok using AI. I bring this up because of a conversation I recently had with my mother. I told her I was writing a thesis as an independent researcher, but she still thinks I'm "just playing around" if I'm at home or not earning money immediately. For my mother, the only thing that matters is the visible, immediate outcome.

That day, she criticized me, saying, "Why don't you just upload some videos to TikTok with AI, too?" I replied that I was "writing my thesis," but the look on her face showed her disapproval. In that moment, my spirits sank in a strange way.

It made me remember something from when I was in elementary school. I was reading a book and didn't hear my mother call me. She hit me on the head, accusing me of "pretending to be smart." When I focus, I often don't hear sounds around me. I must have been completely immersed in the book that day. After that, I used to hide inside construction pipes just to read.

My mother always focuses only on social success. She ignores or dismisses the acquisition of knowledge required for that process. If I go to a prestigious university or get a job at a major corporation, it's considered entirely normal; but if I don't, the criticism I get is, "You pretended to be so smart, but you're nothing special after all."

The thesis will probably be the same. Right now, she probably thinks I'm just idling away my time, and if it doesn't work out, I'll hear, "I knew it, you were just pretending to be smart." If it succeeds, it will probably end with the assessment that I "got lucky." In the end, my mother doesn't see the process; only the result matters in her eyes.

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보여지는 성과와 보이지 않는 과정

요즘은 AI로 틱톡에 귀여운 영상이나 ASMR을 올리는 게 흔하다. 이 얘기를 꺼낸 이유는 얼마 전 엄마와 나눈 대화 때문이다. 나는 독립연구자로서 논문을 쓰고 있다고 말했는데, 엄마는 여전히 내가 집에 있거나 당장 돈을 벌지 않으면 ‘논다’고 생각한다. 엄마에게 중요한 건 눈앞에 보이는 성과다.

그날도 엄마는 “너도 AI로 틱톡에 영상이나 좀 올려라”라며 타박했다. 나는 “논문 쓰고 있다”고 답했지만, 엄마의 표정은 탐탁치 않았다. 그 순간 기분이 묘하게 가라앉았다.

그러면서 초등학생 때 일이 떠올랐다. 책을 읽다가 엄마가 부른 소리를 듣지 못했고, 그때 “똑똑한 척한다”며 머리를 맞았다. 나는 집중하면 주변 소리를 잘 못 듣는다. 아마 그날도 책 속에 빠져 있었을 것이다. 그 후로는 공사장 파이프 안에 숨어 책을 읽곤 했다.

엄마는 늘 사회적 성공만을 바라본다. 그 과정에서 필요한 지식의 습득은 무시하거나 짓밟는다. 내가 명문대에 가거나 대기업에 들어가면 그것은 너무 당연한 일이고, 그렇지 못하면 “똑똑한 척하더니 결국 별것 아니네”라는 비난이 돌아온다.

Noone? No! There's ONE!!

After being ignored for over a month, I made a choice. Not silence, but voice.

On November 25, 2025, I publicly raised this issue on X (Twitter) and Tumblr.

“New power issues in the AI era.” Is our data truly ours?

Give us back our conversation data. Is this AI ethics?”

"Is this AI ethics?"

I directly mentioned @perplexity_ai, @Perplexity_TON, and @AskPerplexity. This wasn't a simple protest. It was an attempt to transform "personal helplessness" into "public pressure."

Interestingly, while writing this, I shifted from "slump" to "battle mode" in just one hour.

Action transformed emotion. Helplessness transformed into strength.

I am currently writing a paper aiming to analyze hundreds of hours of dialogue between myself and an AI model.

Yet this work hit an unexpected obstacle at the outset: access to “my own data.”

On October 13th, 2025, I officially requested my data from Perplexity AI to export our conversation data. For more than a month, aside from automated responses, there has been no action.

This experience raises fundamental questions about power in the AI era:

Data ownership: Are my thoughts and conversations truly “mine,” or are they the platform’s property?

Algorithmic opacity: Why is my request not being processed? The system functions as a giant “black box.”

Individual helplessness: How easily can a single person’s voice be ignored when facing a massive system?

Ironically, this work—originally about “connecting with AI”—began with a real-world issue of “disconnection from the AI system.” The barrier itself has become another important research subject in my paper.

P.S. This paper? Written with AI.

But the fight? Written by me. Alone.

cozi6-lab | Where philosophy meets reality.

Don’t be fooled by “Nothing.”

When we say, "It's nothing," what are we denying?

Interestingly, the word "Nothing" is a portmanteau of "No" and "thing."

That is, "Nothing" is not "the absence of anything," but rather "a negated thing."

When I hurt A and A protested, I said, "It's nothing."

But "nothing" already contains "thing."

So, what I'm actually saying is, "This exists, but I deny its existence."

The shadows of leaves and fallen leaves are indistinguishable. The shadows of leaves dance and pause on the fallen leaves. As the wind shakes the leaves, shadows dance. The colors of the fallen leaves appear and disappear. The sun has not moved, but the wind moves the shadows of the leaves and the fallen leaves.

All I see are shadows of leaves and fallen leaves.

The leaves are above my head, and before my eyes are the shadows of the swaying leaves and fallen leaves.

Was what I was seeing distinct from the beginning? Or wasn't it?

Am I seeing the shadows of leaves, fallen leaves, the shadows of leaves swaying on fallen leaves, or the soil, the shadows of leaves reflected on it, the fallen leaves, and the shadows of leaves dancing on the fallen leaves? It's all of them.

At the same time, as the sun moves, the colors of the fallen leaves change, and the shadows of leaves on the fallen leaves disappear. Depending on where the sun is, they disappear or reappear. What I see changes depending on how the wind blows.

Has it truly disappeared, or has it changed, or is it just the same thing, but has my act of seeing changed or vanished?

The length of the shadow changes depending on the environment, but the shadow is a form cast by the tree. Just because the shadow disappears doesn’t mean the tree disappears. They see each other, but they do not affect one another. But are they even truly seeing each other? That too, I cannot know. The shadow and the tree. Who is the observer? If it’s not either of them, is the sun the observer? A human? No. Not a human. Even without humans, the tree exists. Does it truly exist? What am I looking at right now? The shadow? The tree? If I say it’s the tree, which side of the tree am I seeing? If I say it’s the shadow, which side of the tree’s shadow am I seeing? What time, what length, what part of the shadow is this? The tree remains the same. Only the shadow changes. No—does the tree truly remain the same? If I say I only see the tree, am I seeing it after the sun has set? Then why doesn’t the shape of the tree come to mind when the sun is up? Is the shape of the tree I know even the true shape of the tree?

No, I know nothing.

I don’t even know what I’m looking at.

-

그림자와 나무.

환경에 따라 그림자의 길이가 달라지지만,

그림자는 나무를 비추는 형상.

그림자가 사라진다고 나무가 사라지는게 아니다.

서로는 서로를 보지만 서로에게 영향을 미치진 않는다.

애초에 서로가 서로를 보고 있는건 맞나?

그것또한 알 수 없다.

그림자와 나무.

누가 관찰자가 되는가.

둘 다 아니라면 태양이 관찰자인가? 인간?

아니. 인간은 아니다.

인간이 존재하지않아도 나무는 존재한다.

존재하는것이 맞나? 지금 나는 무엇을 보고 있는건가?

그림자? 나무? 나무라 하면 나무의 어느면을 보고 있고,

그림자라 하면, 나는 나무의 어느면의 그림자를 보고 있는가?

지금이 어느때의 어느길이의 어느부분의 그림자인가?

나무는 그대로다.

그림자만 달라진다.

아니, 나무가 그대로인것이 맞는가?

나무만 보인다하면, 나는 해가 진 후 나무만 보고있는건가?

그럼 해가 떠있을 때 나무모양은 왜 떠오르지않는건가.

애초에 내가 알고 있는 나무모양이 그 나무모양이 맞는건가?

아니, 나는 아무것도 모른다.

my dog walks ahead—

and I press today’s sunlight

into the folds of my words.

Thank you.

For leaving,

for returning,

for staying through every season

that once seemed warm.

-

강아지가 앞장서서 걷는 가을 길,

오늘의 햇살을 내 문장에 그대로 눌러 담는다.

고마워.

떠나는 것도, 돌아오는 것도,

다정해 보이던 모든 계절에도,

I haven’t experienced everything yet,

but I’m trying not to fear change.

I decided to just believe

that I’m a decent person.

Nothing has been proven yet,

but soon,

I’ll be able to believe

that I shine on my own.

Until that day comes,

I quietly choose

to believe in myself today.

-

증명되지 않았지만

아직 다 겪진 않았지만,

변화를 두려워하지 않으려 해.

내가 괜찮은 사람이라는 걸

그냥 믿어보기로 해.

아직 증명된 건 없지만,

곧 나는

나 자체로도 빛난다는 걸

믿어줄거야.

그날이 오기 전까지는,

오늘의 나를

The scent of grass is deep.

The sky—like a drop of ink.

Birds that sang each morning

crickets that chirped without pause—

now quiet.

Ah, maybe

rain is coming today.

When it rains,

even nature rests.

So why must I

stand and take it

just because it falls?

If it finds me while walking,

I’ll greet it.

But if I can avoid it,

I will.

Even crickets

fall silent

when autumn

feels like rain.

-

가을엔 비가 온다

풀내음이 짙다

하늘엔 먹 한 방울

새들도

귀뚜라미도

소리를 줄인다

아, 오늘은

비가 오려나 보다

비가 오면

자연도 쉰다는데

나는 꼭

그 비를 맞아야 할까

걷다 맞으면

유쾌하게 맞되

굳이

피할 수 있는데

맞진 말자

가을엔

귀뚜라미조차