I Want To Crush You In My Jaws

my mom was trying to chew through some really tough steak and she turned to me and said “just call me The Gnawer.” she would do numbers here

she told me she doesn't remember saying this. quote, "must have been steak-induced hysteria"

happy mother's day to this crazy broad

my mom’s old house had a wood burning stove for heating and sometimes when it was cold we’d stand in front of it, but one day she was turning around in front of it so that her back and front got equally warm, and she said “just call me rotisserie Tina” and to this day Rotisserie Tina is my contact name for her in my phone

i could definitely beat the shit out of master chief seeing as i'm a lesbian and he's not a lesbian