just a parasite wasting your time

being an mcu fan is so embarrassing like yeah i am a big fan of one of the most famous, highest-grossing movie franchises of all time. yeah it's falling apart at the seams and it's run out of creativity and it looks boring and the plot is too overdone and a lot of the decisions being made behind the scenes are driven by racism, misogyny, and homophobia. but like it used to be really fun in the good old days all the actors weren't huge A list actors so they gave a shit about the projects and they were all friends with each other and the interviews were hilarious and the movies were made with a lot of heart and love and every once in a while you would get a crazy lil one second cameo and it wasn't a lot but it was a fun easter egg for you and the three people who were caught up on the lore. man where did we go wrong

I really enjoy adding hidden hard-to-click hyperlinks onto my posts. it really adds something

NYT connections shpuld have an "I YIELD!" button that auto-fails you upon being clicked and plays a little 16 bit animation of a guy kneeling in front of an executioner and closing his eyes as the axe falls

i think the hardest i’ve ever been owned was when my boyfriend and i were talking about our favorite feelings/sensations and he was like “my top 9 out of 10 feelings are sex with you” and i was like “aw baby🥺🥺🥺. what’s the tenth one??” and he didn’t hesitate even a little before saying “sex with your mom”

girl dinnerrrrrrr aber es ist zum 10. mal diese woche nudeln mit dem veganen rosso pesto von barilla weil ich seit es das gibt wirklich nix anderes im leben brauche

jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself

Dude, I wouldn't even fucking notice until I go to Google something and the search actually works again.

The only reason I would notice is my life would suddenly get easier

Imagine a more beautiful world. Could you survive it?

i like when a piece of media says that an all-powerful character "sees humans as insects" because that really could mean a lot of things. maybe they view us as insignifigant and will squish us under their boot. maybe theyre actually studying and cataloguing us for their thesis paper. maybe theyre campaigning for human protection because we're an important part of their ecosystem. maybe they see a human and go "ew ew ewwwwww someone get the cup and get that FREAK out of my house." .