“…you learn a lot about someone when you share a meal together. If your date makes the experience uptight and restrictive, well, the sex is going to be horrible too. …I don’t have much patience for people who are self-conscious about the act of eating, and it irritates me when someone denies themselves the pleasure of a bloody hunk of steak or a pungent French cheese because of some outdated nonsense about what’s appropriate or attractive. Stop worrying about how your breath’s going to smell, whether there’s beurre blanc on your face, or whether ordering the braised pork belly will make you look fat. Eating with abandon couldn’t be more of a turn-on: it shows that you’re comfortable with yourself.

A perfect date is with a person who eats without fear, prejudice, or concerns about his or her appearance. I remember one of my first dates with my wife (Ottavia): She ordered a six-pound lobster. I sat there, enraptured, watching her suck every bit of meat from it—she got a standing ovation from the floor staff. She’s the kind of woman who will order filet mignon as an appetizer followed by a T-bone steak. Her fearless, open-minded approach to food is completely alluring. For a dinner date, I eat light all day to save room, then I go all in: I choose this meal and this order, and I choose you, the person across from me, to share it with. There’s a beautiful intimacy in a meal like that. It’s about exploration and taste. And kissing after dinner. And maybe there’s a little wine and curry on your breath…

“[k.d. lang] is a woman who was clearly born to perform.”

“Not that you’d necessarily know she’s a woman at first sight. Tall and broad-shouldered, wearing a black cutaway coat flecked with gold, black pants, and her favorite steel-toed black rubber shitkicker work boots, she looks more like a cowboy. Her glossy dark hair is full but short, and when she tosses her head and strides across the stage on those long, strong legs, you suddenly realize she’s moving with a kind of physical freedom you’ve never seen a female singer display onstage before.” (Leslie Bennetts, 1993)

Dyke Deck by Catherine Opie

Catherine Opie’s legendary 52-piece Dyke Deck of playing cards. Released in 1995, they feature highly stylised portraits of Opie’s queer community, many friends and others cast during an open call in San Francisco. In the Dyke Deck, Opie divided up the images into four categories to correspond with the four suits: Couples are Hearts; Jocks are Clubs; Femmes are diamonds; Butches are spades.