a little unsteady

The fact that I’m legally an adult is hysterical

Today? Cancelled. Tomorrow? On thin fucking ice

Sometimes people need to shut the fuck up and then sleep

Sometimes it’s me

ive never said 1 coherent thing in my life

‪What part of “i don’t wanna spend anymore money” don’t I understand

on all levels except physical I’m already retired and living in a cozy cottage where I grow plums in my garden

*doesnt even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

u know what will really ruin ur day? anything if ur sensitive enough

Me, fighting a yoga mom in the organic food market circa 2023: take your hand off that peach or I’ll vaccinate your children against polio

People need to STOP looking at me

Mood since I was 12 years old

dr. phil is such a stunt queen OMG i’m watching this episode from like 2003 and before the commercial break without prompt he was like : Do you have an email called anal*long beep*@*beep*.com ? and it jst showed the audience’s Like repulsed faces then he was like We’ll be right back.