Part 6 of best friend Chris!
Read more of the series, HERE.
Summary: after the almost kiss with Chris, you meet up with Tara and tell her all about it. / Chris talks to Matt about the whole situation.
You wake up the next morning with that same feeling still sitting in your chest. Not heavy, just there, lingering in a way you can’t ignore.
The first thing you do is grab your phone, your heart doing that stupid little hopeful thing before you even unlock it, but when you do, there’s nothing. No text from Chris. Your stomach drops just a little as you stare at the screen for a second longer than you should before locking it and tossing it beside you.
Your mind immediately replays last night. The door. How close he was. The way you both leaned in. The way you pulled away. You sit up, dragging your hands over your face. “Why did I do that..” you mumble to yourself, already feeling your thoughts start to spiral.
You push yourself out of bed before you can get too deep into it, quickly getting ready and texting Tara asking to go get coffee immediately, and she answers basically right away saying on her way to get you, and that alone settles you just a little.
Not long after, you’re both sitting in her car with iced coffees, parked in a random lot. The windows are cracked slightly, the air cool, but your hands are warm around your cup. You haven’t even taken a sip.
Tara turns toward you, already studying your face like she knows something’s off. “Okay. What happened?” she asks.
You exhale slowly, staring down at your drink. “Something almost happened with Chris.” Her eyes widen immediately. “What do you mean almost?”
You shake your head, letting out a breath as you explain everything: The date, how uncomfortable it got, Chris waiting outside the entire time, the drive home, and then the door. “We were so close,” you say quietly. “Like we both leaned in. And I just pulled away.”
Tara just stares at you. “You almost kissed Chris.” You groan, dropping your head back against the seat. “I know.”
“And you pulled away?” she says, almost in disbelief. “I panicked,” you sit up quickly, running a hand through your hair. “I didn’t know what to do, Tara.”
She leans back slightly, watching you carefully. “Okay but how did it feel?” You pause, your fingers tightening around your cup. “It felt right,” you admit softly. “Like really right. And that’s what’s messing with my head. I didn’t realize until I closed the door that it felt right.”
Tara’s expression softens, like she’s been waiting for you to say that. “Why is that a bad thing?” she asks gently. “Because he’s Chris,” you say immediately. “He’s my best friend.”
“And?” she pushes. You shake your head, frustrated. “I don’t know. I’ve just never thought about him like that. I knew I liked him, just didn’t wanna ruin anything, but since last night I feel like it changed, I don’t know.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Really?”
You hesitate before answering quieter, “yeah..”
Tara shifts in her seat, turning more toward you. “Do you think you could ever fall in love with Chris?” Your heart stutters, your mind immediately pulling memories. Him picking you up without hesitation. The way he always answers your calls. The way he notices when something’s wrong before you even say anything. “I don’t know,” you whisper.
“Have you ever thought he could be the one?” she asks, and that one hits deeper. You swallow, staring out the windshield. “I mean he’s just so different.” You pause, then keep going, almost like you can’t stop now. “He’s so soft with me. He’s patient. He listens to everything I say, even when I’m being dramatic or overthinking. He never makes me feel stupid for it. He remembers things I don’t even think matter, like my coffee order or when I’m having a bad day before I even say anything. And last night..” you shake your head, your voice getting quieter, “he just sat there. The whole time. In the parking lot. Didn’t complain once that he was wasting time or anything. He stayed there just in case I needed him, just to protect me.”
Tara’s expression softens even more.
“He didn’t judge me,” you continue. “He didn’t make me feel dumb for going back. He just took care of me. Like he always does.” You let out a shaky breath, your eyes starting to gloss over. “I never have to worry when he’s around. I just know I’m safe. I know I’m protected. I don’t have to think twice about anything.”
Tara gives you a small, knowing smile. “Yeah. Because that’s what it’s supposed to feel like.” You look over at her as she continues, “You deserve that. You deserve someone who makes you feel safe, and cared for, and actually listens to you.” She tilts her head slightly. “And I see the way he looks at you.”
Your stomach flips. “What?” you ask quietly. “Chris looks at you like you’re the prettiest girl in every room,” she says simply. “Like he’s proud of you. Like he can’t believe you’re even real.”
Your chest tightens at that, and she adds, “I’ve seen it for a while. You just never wanted to.” You look down at your hands, your voice softer now. “I know hes in love with me.”
Tara nods like that confirms everything. “And I think” you pause, your voice cracking slightly, “I think I might be starting to feel it too.”
The car goes quiet for a second before you rush out, “But I’m scared. Like really scared.”
“Why?” she asks gently. “Because what if I mess it up?” you say, your voice shaking now. “What if I fall harder for him and something goes wrong and I lose him completely? I can’t lose him, Tara.”
She reaches over, resting her hand on your arm. “And what if you don’t?” she says softly. “What if this is the one time you don’t mess it up?” You shake your head slightly, overwhelmed. “I don’t even know how to talk to him about this. Like what do I even say? ‘Hey, we almost kissed, what’s that about’” You let out a weak laugh through your tears. Tara smiles gently. “You don’t have to make it a big thing.”
You sniffle, wiping your eyes. “Then what do I do?”
She shrugs lightly. “Go see him.”
“Go see him,” she repeats. “Hang out like you normally would. Don’t force anything. Don’t overthink it. Just see what happens.”
You hesitate, staring down at your coffee again. “What if he brings it up?” you ask. “Then you talk about it,” she says simply. “And if he doesn’t?”
Tara smiles a little. “Then maybe you will.”
You sit there for a second, letting everything settle, your heart still racing but something feeling just a little clearer now. “Okay,” you say quietly. You pick up your phone again. Still no text from him. Your stomach flips, but this time you don’t ignore it, because now you know what you need to do. You just have to be brave enough to do it.
Chris wakes up before everyone else, but he doesn’t move right away. He just lays there staring at the ceiling, one arm tucked behind his head, the other resting on his chest, his mind already replaying the same moment on a loop. Your door. The way you looked at him. How close you were. How you both leaned in like it was actually going to happen. And then you pulled away. He exhales slowly, dragging a hand down his face. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath, his voice rough with sleep and frustration.
He sits up, running both hands through his hair, trying to shake it off, but it’s stuck. He can still feel how close you were, how easy it would’ve been to just close the distance. Part of him wishes he had. The other part knows exactly why he didn’t. You had just gone through all that. You were upset, shaken, vulnerable. The last thing he ever wants is to make you feel pressured or take advantage of a moment like that. Still, it was right there. And now he has no idea what it meant to you.
He ends up downstairs not long after, but he’s not doing anything useful. He’s pacing more than anything, opening the fridge, closing it, grabbing a glass, setting it down, running his hands through his hair again like he’s trying to physically push the thoughts out of his head. Matt notices almost immediately when he walks in, grabbing something from the fridge before leaning against the counter and watching him.
“You good?” Matt asks casually, but there’s a knowing look behind it. Chris shrugs without even looking at him. “Yeah.” Matt lets out a quiet laugh. “You’ve walked back and forth like ten times.” Chris exhales, shaking his head slightly before finally saying it. “I almost kissed her last night.” That gets Matt’s full attention. “What?”
Chris finally looks at him, jaw tight. “We were at her door. She was thanking me for being there, and then we just stood there. And we both leaned in.” Matt raises his eyebrows. “And?”
Chris huffs out a breath. “She pulled away.” There’s a pause. “And you didn’t say anything?”
Chris lets out a quiet, almost disbelieving laugh. “What was I supposed to say, Matt? ‘Hey, why didn’t you kiss me?’”
Matt studies him for a second, then asks, “Okay but what did it feel like?” Chris doesn’t even hesitate. “Like I was about to ruin everything.”
Matt frowns slightly. “Or like you were about to finally do something about it?” Chris shakes his head immediately, his voice firmer now. “No. Because if I’m wrong, if I read it wrong, or if she didn’t actually mean it, then I just ruin everything. She’s my best friend, Matt.” His voice drops a little, more honest now. “I can’t lose her.”
Matt crosses his arms, leaning back against the counter. “You’re already losing your mind watching her date these guys.”
Chris exhales sharply, looking away. “Yeah, because it sucks,” he mutters. “It sucks watching her get treated like shit over and over again when I know I could treat her right.” His jaw tightens. “Like last night sitting in that parking lot, knowing exactly how it was gonna go. Knowing I was gonna have to pick her up again.” He shakes his head, frustrated. “And she still went back.”
Matt sighs quietly. “She doesn’t see it yet.”
Chris lets out a short, bitter laugh. “Yeah. No shit.”
There’s a pause before Chris speaks again, quieter this time. “I’m so in love with her, it’s actually stupid.”
Matt doesn’t even look surprised. “Then why are you acting like this?”
Chris runs a hand through his hair again, pacing a little. “Because I don’t know how to bring it up now. Like what do I even say? ‘Hey, we almost kissed, do you wanna talk about it?’” He shakes his head. “What if she didn’t even think it was anything? What if I bring it up and she just shuts it down?” His voice tightens. “I can’t just hear that and be fine. I can’t just go back to normal after that.” He stops pacing, leaning back against the counter, staring at the floor. “And if I push it, if I say something at the wrong time, I risk losing her completely. And I can’t.. I can’t lose her.”
Matt watches him for a second before pushing off the counter slightly. “You’re scared of ruining the friendship,” he says.
Chris nods immediately. “Yeah. Obviously.”
Matt shrugs. “But you’re already miserable like this.”
Chris doesn’t argue, because it’s true. Matt continues, “You don’t have to confess everything all at once, but you can’t just ignore what happened. Just talk to her. See where she’s at.” Chris exhales slowly, his mind still racing. “And if she pulls away again?” he asks quietly. Matt shrugs. “Then at least you know.” There’s a long pause before Matt adds, more serious now, “Or she doesn’t. And you’ve been holding yourself back for no reason.”
Chris swallows, staring ahead, the weight of it all settling in his chest. “I just wish I knew what that moment meant to her,” he says.
Matt raises an eyebrow. “Then go find out.” Chris shakes his head slightly, but there’s less resistance now.
“Yeah,” he mutters. “Maybe I will.”
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