Employed Worker of The Cringe Agenda

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

biggest way to boost someones ego is to tell them they're the blorbo handler/only person that understands a certain character

"youre the only one i trust with this character" we r making out rn

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

tomodachi life giving you so many oppertunities for custom images and text with no filters means the obvious answer is of course to fill it with sex and penis. which is why i appreciate that every tomodachi life post ive seen is actually pretty lacking in sex and penis. instead we've been giving our miis enough cigarettes to kill a small village.