I hate Pink Karkat.

Am I the only one who’s been around here long enough to remember how fu--cked up the shit Sugary did was and like, I don’t know, not be over it?? I remember when she sawed off my good friend’s horns on a live broad--cast! Showed the whole world his guts! Haha, water under the bridge, am I right???

By “desperate measures” I meant like, taking my --clothes off, not a-c-cepting money from Sugary. No one’s that desperate.

Hahahaha, I am so desperate for money that I have --considered some pretty dark pathways at this point!

Man, remember when I used to do things? Remember when I was valedi--ctorian of the most prestigious Ivy League prep s--chools in the U.S.? And now I just got reje--cted from job appli--cations and --cry all day?

I got a Summoner and his friend out of jail on--ce, but it o-c-curs to me that apparently being an heir would be a death-on-sight and not an unquestioned-authority deal on some planets, so. Your mileage may vary!

When someone’s playing guitar in the other room but you --can’t hear the melody be--cause it’s muffled by the door so all you hear is the toneless sma--cking of strings against fingers.

Ask --Completely Inappropriate Question BIT--CH ME TOO, THE FU--CK.

My friend Sollux is a hermit who has never seen the outside of his bedroom, --classroom, or workpla--ce, and has never sat in front of a --computer s--creen without immediately playing Overwat--ch, but when he does --come online please be ni--ce to him, be--cause he is a good boy.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m laying down that harsh marketing and flavor --criti-cism now. Bet you didn’t know that the fruit sna--ck industry is a--ctually my bit--ch. That I absolutely run the hell out of this shit. That nasty-ass --coaglulated high fru--ctose --corn syrup homun--culous you’re shoveling into your garbage trap mouth 24/7 is all --contingent on my fu--cking approval, worm. You have no idea what you’re up against. You’re fu--cking dead, kiddo.