rust & stardust

her hands instinctively reached out towards hugo, grasping at thin air. “what’s wro-,” she began, confused, before halting as he spoke. her heart dropped at his words. coco knew it was bad by the expression etched into his features, but moreover because he’d never pushed her away before - not even when they had fought so terribly she thought they might never speak again. the only sound she heard was her heart beating, and then – “what’s happened, hugo? tell me.”

“emergency business call,” she repeated monotonously. surprise surprise. she didn’t know how often alistair was actually dealing with work, although considering how wonderfully successful the company was it was probably more often than she gave him credit for. “is there anything i can do?” as tense as their relationship could be, her heart ached to see alistair so stressed about work, although she couldn’t remember the last time he wasn’t. “goodness, how generous of you, alistair.” she rolled her eyes, downing the rest of her champagne in order to free her hand to grab onto astra’s arm before she started to wander off again. “i’m not sure you’ll be able to manage them all.”

“goodness. a herbal pregnancy. i didn’t realise anyone actually had one of those.” almost everyone had looked at cosmia and seen the perfect pregnancy, when in reality she struggled tremendously with the entire process. it was strange to coco that bridget had turned into such, well, a good mother. “he certainly does look like ollie,” coco agreed. “uh -,” she paused, glancing around in the way that mothers do without even thinking when the absence of their children is mentioned. “well, i would like to think alistair has them, but they’re probably with the nanny.” she didn’t like having a nanny for their children; but what with alistair working so much and her royal duties, it would be impossible not too. 

it felt like she hadn’t had a chance to breathe all day, what with looking after the children and repeating the same spiel to each one of her former classmates. she felt like she constantatly had to be looking behind her back; which was paranoid even for coco. but as she approached their secret rendezvous point, coco could feel herself begin to relax. she hated sneaking around, but she also couldn’t bear the thought of being without hugo for longer than even a couple of days. “hugo,” she sighed in relief, dropping her handbag by the door and walking straight over to the boy, letting herself collapse against him. @grandets

“where on earth have you been?” coco sighed, somewhere between relief and irritation, as she finally located her husband. “it’s been an absolute nightmare watching out for the children in this crowd, and you’ve been nowhere to be found.” but what else was new? coco thought to herself - she should’ve seen this coming a mile off. public events like this one were always especially strenuous on their ‘marriage’, which was evident in the fact that coco was holding onto her fourth flute of champagne. @bclfour

“it’s so lovely to see you, really. it’s been far too long.” her words were entirely genuine, despite what had happened between them as kids. “um -,” she hesitated slightly, wishing she had prepared better for questions such as these. “i’m good, busy but good. and alistair is the same - he’s somewhere around here, with our other two.” coco added, smiling at thomas's kindness. “say thank you, astra.” she prompted, gently squeezing her daughter’s hand. the little girl dutifully complied, but the words were muffled due to the fact she was sucking her thumb. “and this little angel must be stephanie?”

why on earth she had agreed to come to this god-awful reunion, coco couldn’t recall - she had probably been in a prescription medication-induced stupor. and moreover, she had agreed to bring her three young children with her. god only knew where alistair was, even though he had agreed to watch out for them too. but his absence was as natural to coco as breathing. so when she caught sight of eleanor, coco immediately felt more at ease. she missed eleanor terribly, but their schedules left very little time for anything outside of royal duties. “just wanted to see how you were doing. you seem a little overwhelmed by all the questions.” she spoke softly, adjusting the little girl on her hip, another two lingering at her legs.

“no need to apologise.” coco waved her hand dismissively, a smile on her face as she watched the little girl. “we’ve all been there after all.” she nodded slightly towards the little girl gripping onto her hand - the spitting image of her mother, especially since they were wearing in a perfectly coordinated dresses. finally focusing on the man before her, coco’s smile spread into a beam. “oh my goodness, tom?!” she exclaimed.

“why do you never want to talk?” a frustrated sigh escaped her lips. sometimes she just wanted to reach out and shake alistair. she appreciated his ability to remain so composed when she couldn’t, but that didn’t make up for the fact that she never really knew what he was thinking, or how he was feeling. “i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, but you’re clearly absolutely miserable, and it won’t ever get any better if you won’t talk to me.”

“goodness me.” but coco wasn’t surprised - if anybody was going to be invited to four parties, it was amara. “how on earth will you decide which one to go to?” although it was clear that amara wasn’t thrilled to be going at all. 

“it will die. i know it doesn’t feel like that now, but something more interesting will come along. you’ve just got to hang in there.” coco reached out, squeezing the girls hand in her own. nora was so much confidence and bravado on the outside, it was easy to forget that she was also fragile. “don’t apologise.” she said firmly. “not to me, at least.” pulling her into a quick hug, coco quickly glanced around. “let’s get you inside, oui?”

“uh...” coco raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “i’m not moving, jakie. i think you’re just quite pissed.”

“no, no, french is good.” she nodded to emphasise her approval. “it’s just, well, you took me by surprise. you’re never normally here, and when you are, you’re not really here.” she never had been good at articulating her feelings when it came to alistair, but she did let herself lean fractionally into his ever-gentle touch. 

“ah. sketch.” she repeated, her brain working extra hard to comprehend what was being said. “are you sure you want to go to dinner?” she asked slowly, gaze following alistair’s hands as he swept away the secrets of the previous evening. she couldn’t remember the last time alistair had even been around in the evening, let alone voluntarily asked her to dinner. “unfortunately for you, or for me?” she asked, raising her eyebrows slightly.

“you don’t need to steal me; alistair doesn’t own me. not yet, anyway.” she rolled her eyes playfully. “just for a few days.” coco repeated, “we can stay at the four seasons, i rather miss hotels.” she said, as though she hadn’t returned from the islands of french polynesia just three weeks ago.