pretty amazed by this whole being alive thing

Sometimes u just gotta make yourself a quesadilla and move the fuck on

person: hey are you ticklish at all? me: *takes 8 steps back* me: …….no……..

i love when people say they “had a thing” with someone. were u in love? did u have sex? got slushies one time?

THIS IS THE TIGHTEST SHIT IVE EVER SEEN

REBLOG FOR CARRIE

If this isn’t the coolest thing

How fucking dope

CARRIE😭😭😭😭

HOW

I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRET

SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU

I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE 

‘and here’s a latte to wash the cookies down!’ ‘this to-go cup doesn’t have either of our names on it.’ ‘no one seemed to respond in the first 5 seconds after the barista called the name out, so i took it to make sure it wouldn’t go to waste!’

‘speaking of art, i’ve already returned the original wharhol’s you stole back to the museum.’ ‘but those were your birthday present!’ ‘they were stolen and i don’t even like pop art!’ ‘so what you’re saying is something art nouveau for Hanukkah then?’

‘i know, i just friended you on facebook so that you can invite me next time!’ ’…did you already friend my MOM?’ ‘she’s a lovely woman, we’re going antiquing next sunday!

‘and look, i even made a scrapbook of all the times you’ve caught me!’ ‘this is…incredibly comprehensive and oddly touching.’ ‘aww, i’m so glad you like it!’ ‘i’d like it a lot better if you didn’t have the back quarter of the book marked out for future crimes.’

The last thing u ate + ur fave animal as ur new url

@funandresults

That may be the best response ever

Olympic teams should be chosen just like jury duty. Receiving a random notification in the mail saying you have four years to train for a random event.

you’re doing everything wrong and i love you

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY EVERY TIME I SEE HER!!