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*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me

Honestly I especially support self-absorption in cases where someone comes from a negative, broken home life and has practically needed to be their own cheerleader to wrench themself out of whatever self-deprecating thought loops their family has contributed to. When all you’re taught is negative self-speak, when you grew up being constantly compared or verbally berated or told you’re not good enough, you literally need to go out of your way to outgrow that thinking. And I do think that starts with turning the lens on yourself, romanticizing your life, constantly affirming to yourself that you are worthy of space and time and whatever your heart desires. You literally have to constantly hype yourself up where no one else has. It’s quite literally necessary.

So many women have internalized the idea that being difficult makes people think less of them, when in my experience the opposite is almost always true. Every single time I have spoken up, voiced what I actually need and refused to shrink the moment in order to be more comfortable for everyone else in the room, I have been approached afterward by people who wanted to know me better. There is no reward waiting for you on the other side of making yourself smaller. People do not love you more for taking up less space, they simply get used to you taking up less space and adjust their expectations accordingly. Every time I have been exactly as audacious as the moment required, it has opened doors rather than closed them and I have made real connections directly because of it rather than in spite of it.