gender machine broke

still thinking about when i saw a girl on here with ~3 partners and one of them was a lesbian with a “MEN DNI” banner and one of them was a tboy with a “‘MEN DNI’ DNI” banner

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

spiritually, pre-launch grace is a twig to me. but the infinitely funnier option is that he has amassed gosling levels of brawn because he still frequently gets pissed off at his students and coworkers and his primary anger management strategy is gym. he can swallow it down but only for so long. and if his routine gets interrupted for whatever reason the other teaching staff will eventually notice and someone will pull him aside and go "hey not to be insensitive but youre being kind of a bitch. unrelated question, when was the last time you punched stuff recreationally?"

i respect ppl who think frodo & sam were sucking & fucking constantly when the narrator wasn't looking. but personally i think the furthest they went was an awkward attempt at mutual handjobs one night in mordor which started as sam trying to do something anything that'd make frodo feel good & frodo insisted on doing it for sam too & sam closed his eyes & tried to imagine it was rosie cotton while frodo tried to remember the shire or focus on the texture of sam's rough hand or the unyielding heat in his own grip or think about anything other than the great burning wheel & neither of them succeeded. & frodo never got fully hard & eventually pushed sam's hand away but kept going & sam felt like he had failed & part of him wanted to push frodo's hand away too but instead he came harder than he had ever in his life & they never talked about it again

THEIR REACTIONS ARE SO GREAT THIS IS THE BEST PRANK

"what did you think you were here for?"

what if you told someone you liked their shoelaces while you were on your knees blowing them in a bathroom stall and they told you that they stole them from the president