sometimes eating disorders rlly just be like
“i need to get sicker” -> *gets sicker * -> “fuck my life is horrible i need to get better” -> *gets better * -> “fuck my life is still horrible i need to get sicker” -> rinse and fucking repeat
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@controlled-disorder
sometimes eating disorders rlly just be like
“i need to get sicker” -> *gets sicker * -> “fuck my life is horrible i need to get better” -> *gets better * -> “fuck my life is still horrible i need to get sicker” -> rinse and fucking repeat

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What's really fucked up about my life is the more that I destroy my body, the more I love myself. And I don't think I will ever be able to stop.
oh no i'm so unmotivated and i feel lethargic and can't focus on anything. it must be because i'm a failure as a person and not have anything to do with the fact i'm purposefully depriving my body of energy and vital nutrients that are essential for brain health and executive function.
under 200lbs for the first time in forever and I wanna be like “yes!! ive lost more!!” but if I say that to anyone, it’s definitely gonna prompt further questions about my eating habits recently, cuz I can feel the suspicion. So I’m saying it here. woooo
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i love when i am drinking water and some of it spills on my shirt and i dont really react.. i dont give a fuck anymore to be real with U
you’ll never find me here!!
real
bro stop talking about yearning. go make mistakes and learn

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The worst part is, I am not morbidly obese. When I look in the mirror, I can see the chub on my thighs, arms, stomach etc. I am not horribly fat, I am average. “Chubby”. Acceptable, but not thin. Not thin enough. To me, that is worse than being ‘fat’.
I’ll just be over here significantly rounding up the calories in everything I’ve eaten today and then beating myself up for going over a limit that I actually haven’t gone over, I’ve only convinced myself that I did xx

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i’m so sick of all these ✨starving is mind over matter, you’re in control sweetheart✨ posts like. be so real with yourself.
okay so you’re hungry. but you also have to mitigate not passing the fuck out and smashing your head in the shower, not crashing your car, not having a literal heart attack, not failing out of school or getting fired from your job, not shitting your pants or alternatively getting a bowel blockage, etc etc. you can’t just willpower your way out of destroying your body
maybe i’m just too old to be here but this isn’t a fucking cutesy little experience. starving yourself to death isn’t a fun little hobby like you’re encouraging your mutuals to keep up with practicing their drawing or writing every day. shut the fuck up