...so itās been a while since Iāve been here. I really miss Shelly.
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@consultndeduce-blog
...so itās been a while since Iāve been here. I really miss Shelly.

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give me an au where sherlock isnāt an absolute ass and actually can hold onto a human relationship.
Ā Ā Ā It is a capital MISTAKE to theorize before one has data. Ā Ā Ā Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, Ā Ā Ā instead of theories to suit FACTS;;
independent & selective sherlock ;; looking for new blogs to follow! like or reblog for interactions.
ā° Ā ā Ā ā Ā ā Ā BUZZFEED UNSOLVED SENTENCE STARTERS
ā Ā strap in ācause this one is rough. Ā ā ā Ā itāsā itās yucky. Ā ā ā Ā iām aware of some details of this and itāsā itās yucky. Ā ā ā Ā iām not a gambling man, but i donāt really like those odds. Ā ā ā Ā we could conceivably run into this guy taking a dump in the woods or something. Ā ā ā Ā are you fucking out of your mind? Ā ā ā Ā iām starting to think you want to die. Ā ā ā Ā you turned a corner on that one pretty quick. Ā ā ā Ā oh my god, itās fucking horrifying. Ā ā ā Ā thereās an elk, though. thereās a deer over there. Ā ā ā Ā hereās the remains and rubble of one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of all time and youāre looking at the fucking deer in the forrest. Ā ā ā Ā maybe they were in there telling ghost stories. Ā ā ā Ā thatās not what pillow talk is, i donāt think. Ā ā ā Ā pillow talk could either mean something you do after sex or it could mean whatās like sleepover talk. Ā ā ā Ā do you tell ghost stories after sex? Ā ā ā Ā all very effective forā for murder. Ā ā ā Ā they stabbed him so hard that the knife bent. Ā ā ā Ā you would think that thereād be at least one witness. Ā ā ā Ā you see someone running through the forrest covered in blood, youāre probably not gonna bat an eye. Ā ā ā Ā thatās not how the forrest works. Ā ā ā Ā excuse me, sir. why are you covered in blood? Ā ā ā Ā iām glad to know that you would be the worst crime scene witness of all time. Ā ā ā Ā oh, you were phrasing it in a dramatic way. Ā ā ā Ā what is it about killersā that they want to be caught so badly⦠or like they want to get as close to being caught without being caught? Ā ā ā Ā i canāt put my mind into the mind of a criminal. Ā ā ā Ā i can put my mind into the mind of a criminal. Ā ā ā Ā some of them must be friends, others would like to plunge knives into each other. Ā ā ā Ā i can imagine one friend of yours murdering you. Ā ā ā Ā iām pretty sure there was a coverup by the police department. Ā ā ā Ā 70ā²s and 80ā²s police were always just like, āoh, you murdered someone? you got forty bucks?ā Ā ā ā Ā great! what else do you want?! i murdered people for you! and now⦠what? Ā ā ā Ā oh, so iām the psycho cause i murdered for you!? Ā ā ā Ā what, the police were just writing fan fiction? Ā ā ā Ā this is just baffling to me. Ā ā ā Ā i guess thatās their job, but can you imagine how much goddamn paperwork is involved in that? so much! Ā ā ā Ā iām pretty sure weāre being watched, so i kind of wanna leave, to be honest. Ā ā ā Ā iāve had enough of this place and i havenāt even been here that long. i hate this place. Ā ā ā Ā this boogeyman is very thorough. Ā ā ā Ā i guess weāre lucky he got lazy. Ā ā ā Ā the greatest safety precautions of our time are written in blood. Ā ā ā Ā i think theyāre tired of this ongoing saga that never ends. Ā ā ā Ā you know, i actually disagree with that last sentiment. Ā ā ā Ā this is like straight-up end of days shit going on. Ā ā ā Ā this couldāve been the beginning of the zombie apocalypse, in my mind. Ā ā ā Ā iāve daydreamed about having an amazing bunker that has satellite tv. Ā ā ā Ā ābad advilā sounds like a shitty indie band. Ā ā ā Ā the wild west was the 80ā²s. Ā ā ā Ā in the 80ā²s you could walk in a store, pocket a soda, punch a guy in the face, and then be like āsee ya later. fuck you!ā cops wouldnāt get to your door for weeks. Ā ā ā Ā he had books that were just titled āhow to crimeā? if he had a book called āhow to crimeā then thereās your guy. Ā ā ā Ā oh, yeah⦠nah, iām good. eh, bit of a reach. Ā ā ā Ā some old lady in florida bought the unabomberās typewriter? Ā ā ā Ā maybe this guy was really in the dog house and was just desperate for any kind of turn of affection from her so he thought, āi know that iāll do! iāll write the fbi!ā Ā ā ā Ā no, i didnātā what, is there anything to suggest that i would chase my mom with an axe? Ā ā ā Ā i think you wear a mask sometimes. Ā ā ā Ā maybe you should keep digging and see what happens. Ā ā ā Ā these are two messed up weirdos who have found each other and itās almost a shockingly beautiful love story. Ā ā ā Ā i donāt get it. i just wanna talk about my work and everyone just keeps seeming to bring up all my past of all the shitty stuff iāve done. Ā ā ā Ā ugh, this guyās gross. Ā ā ā Ā it mustāve been fun to be a criminal in the 80ā²s. Ā ā ā Ā everything before the 80ā²s ā just lawless. Ā ā ā Ā get your sunglasses ready because this one is packed full of bright stars. Ā ā ā Ā iām good to go. iām always ready, baby! Ā ā ā Ā it came true so she was actually warranted in all these fears. Ā ā ā Ā this would be like if you were eaten by a shark. Ā ā ā Ā i thought for a second we were talking about things that are actually scary. Ā ā ā Ā iām gonna let this slide because i know youāre just trying to get a rise out of me. Ā ā ā Ā does that man have a magical penis or something? Ā ā ā Ā you think the only reason someone would go back to someone is because they have a magical penis? Ā ā ā Ā i feel like divorce is probably a lot of work. Ā ā ā Ā do you not know how love works? Ā ā ā Ā maybe i donāt know how love works. Ā ā ā Ā i have a hard time imagining someone going gaga over christopher walken. Ā ā ā Ā i bet when you get in a room with christopher walken, he commands the space. Ā ā ā Ā i brought some cocktail weenies. Ā ā ā Ā one of my greatest fears is that someone will trick me into doing heroin. Ā ā ā Ā thatās the dumbest fear iāve ever heard in my life. Ā ā ā Ā how many situations can you be in that would put you up to that potential danger? Ā ā ā Ā how many parties are you going to where heroinās involved? it seems like a lot. Ā ā ā Ā itās the fear that someone would come up to me on the street and put heroin in me and then iām hooked forever. Ā ā ā Ā hereās what mustāve happened⦠these forty things, in succession. Ā ā ā Ā what are you trying to do, fuck my wife? Ā ā ā Ā why would he make this up? Ā ā ā Ā heā he was just trying to fuck someones wife. Ā ā ā Ā i canāt imagine murdering someone even when drunk. Ā ā ā Ā when you drink you can imagine murdering someone?! Ā ā ā Ā i ate a pumpkin once when i was drunk⦠i just took a bite out of a pumpkin. Ā ā ā Ā thatās a rational fear! Ā ā ā Ā that is not a rational fear! Ā ā ā Ā these are the musings of a paranoid man. Ā ā

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ā the color RED represents nothing but blood and affliction of the ones anointed with the crimson life of dead animals; not the blossoming of ROSES or heart shaped CANDIES from the shop. but do go rush out and buy some, add to the farce of the holiday and allow the patronizingĀ hustle of FORCED social conduct weigh in to your needs. āĀ
if I ever returned to this blog Iād start all new.
drcpalmer:
For a moment sheās mortified, feeling utterly ridiculous that sheād given a serious answer to something heād meant as tease, but then the follow up message comes and tension bleeds from her shoulders. Heād understood then, why sheād given the answer that she had, lips pull over teeth as she smiles wide in the empty kitchen of her apartment.Ā
āOh, no fair Sherlock.ā she mutters to herself, putting down her mug of steaming coffee in favor of typing out rapid fire texts.Ā
[sms: Sherlock]: Youāre smiling.
[sms: Sherlock]: I did it, I made the great Sherlock Holmes smile.
Making no comment about the delicious expanse of bare chest, or the hint of stomach she catches in the picture, she chooses to focus on the fond smile gracing his face.Ā
[sms: Sherlock]: Is John home?
Glancing over at the digital clock of the microwave, she notes that with the time and the usual London traffic as sheād come to learn it, she could be at Baker St via cab in about twenty minutes give or take.
[ T: CHRISTINE ] Heās not.
commenting on a BEAM of smile is irrelevant for a beat of time. clear as the morning the detective knew withoutĀ observation the intent of the woman he spoke to. five minutes of leeway, twenty minutes would be the maximum time Christine would require.Ā
moods such as these wereĀ SPARSE in retrospect. the doctor must utilize it, grasp it, in every frame roll with the tide. heart, in his heart. it beat with a tremendous realization.Ā
sexual desires are bare, based in pure animalistic behaviors. image sent to him studied again; smile remaining, body rested. Christine was a pure TRUTH ofĀ exquisiteness. could a man deny his want of her, how could they be led so astray?Ā
[ T: CHRISTINE ] Do come over. Iāve got tea. Perhaps biscuits, Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā if Mrs. Hudson decided to pop in.
feather soft; sheet teasesĀ ātween fingers,Ā anticipation wound just the same as seconds pass.logical sides of him WEIGH in. john knows these impulses, the majority of MALES do. could it be from proximity of relation, or finding another who SOOTHED him in the intimacy? oh it must be Christine, almond shape of eyes to stare into a part of a man, ( to stare at HIM ) and break a wall long since built.Ā
from the muddled mind he brings forth a quip of flirt;
[ T: CHRISTINE ] Yet I feel we wonāt be needing them.
Your tears make me cry.
Been MIA. Things were absolutely insane. I think by the next few days Iāll be around again. Going to write some now.

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drcpalmer:
Edwards, house steward to the Palmer Estate since her teenage years, cleared his throat at the threshold of her study to garner her attention, announcing with poorly hidden displeasure that Mr. Holmes was come calling. Ink stained fingers, sheād been balancing the stock ledger to hand over to Edward so that he could make the chances he saw fit in his experience and give to her for final review. With an indulgent look to her servant, more friend then employee, she asks that tea be set in the blue room and that sheād be over shortly. Ā A basin of water and a bit of scrubbing later, she arrives in the blue room with newly cleaned hands, and greets her guest with a soft smile.Ā
āMr. Holmes, I hadnāt expected to see you so soon,ā one of the house maids, Ā young girl, a relation of the cooks she thinks, gives the tall man a clear appraising eye as she sets down the tea tray. And for a moment she tries to see Sherlock through a young girls eyes, he cut a fine figure in his suit, with sharp eyes and contoured features. Yet, she knew the manās temperament and personality too well to be taken blindly by his fine looks.Ā
And because of that very knowledge, she wasnāt looking forward to informing him that their partnership might have to come to an end. As a female practicing the medical arts, she was already seen as a source of rumors, but the majority of her practice was based around wealthy ladies who paid well enough for perceived ails that she could run a Clinic for the needy and impoverished. That being so, despite her status as both spinster and heiress, she needed to maintain some sort of standing among the London ton, and running around with an unmarried man solving crimes had set many tongues wagging that she couldnāt afford to ignore any longer.Ā
āMilk or sugar, Mr. Holmes?ā she questions, pouring out a cup of tea for them both.Ā
{ @consultndeduce gets a victorian smol }
it was not the first time at the estate nor does Sherlock assume the LAST. much of their ventures had lead them to a place of such magnitude, sharing tools of the trade over tea and light meals. VISIONS come now and again, flashbacks akin to leaves blocking the sun during his short trip. they come and goĀ expeditiously. the way he takes no credit when his credit is not due, for theĀ astute genius of the lady is true in measures of his acknowledgement. many of his cases which had been brought to end were ONLY done so by the guidance of Ms Christine Palmer. Watson would have word to day about that, if he could ever CRACK the mindset of the detective.Ā
he waits for her in the room designated, offering only the faintest nods to those who came to be employed there. they were kind, and yet. the steward have such APPARENT distaste Sherlock is left wondering if he has spoken OPENLY to his employer. it was the reason he came; these RUMORS festering and meddling with their work. companionship was far more than marriage. a man and woman, ahead of their times, he would dare commit.Ā
ā Milk, if you would.Ā ā Ā he stands not far from where the lady of the house pours, arms LOCKED behind back. hardly could he dismiss the offer, tea was a welcome hospitality in an otherwise DISTASTEFUL world.Ā ā I hope I am not interrupting your time for the business of your house.Ā ā Ā residue, however brushed away, still lingers.Ā
ā If no, I have matters to discuss with you, Ms. Palmer. Some which are too delicate to put to paper.Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āā we donāt get to pick our start in this life. real greatness Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā is what you do with the hand youāre dealt.
independent mumu. written by allison.
When you were dead I went to your grave. I should hope so. I made a little speech. I actually spoke to you.Ā I know. I was there.
drcpalmer:
Coffee pot beeps to signal that itās done brewing, pouring herself a cup of java, strong and black the way she always preferred it when sheās at home and drinking the good quality beans, she takes a sip. Warmth spreads over her limbs, though she doubts thatās entirely the coffeeās doing, and more likely itās the compliment paid to her by Sherlock. Heās not a man of empty words or flattery, so she knows that he means what he says.Ā
[sms: Sherlock]: Maybe.
She responds to his statement about her blush, which was true but she didnāt have to confirm it outright.Ā
[sms: Sherlock]: Favorite part? I only get the one huh?
Fingers are poised to write something dirty, maybe to compliment the sharp cut of his clavicle that she loves to see peeking from under his collar, or the cupids bow of his mouth. And while those are sincere sentiments, they didnāt fit with the question.Ā
[sms: Sherlock]: Your heartā¦you donāt show it often, but when you do, itās my favorite part of you. CORNY, I know, but you asked.
and how he is taken aback by such a SINCERE gift. hearts are organs, a part of his body which he often overlooked in the past of his lifetime. the drugs, his INSISTENCE of what he could do without. when did the sentiment of such things MOVE him to another pause? it was her, the SPARK when approached, the same involvement which gave way to something so... intimate.Ā
compliments besides his brilliance lead him to be SHOOK in various ways.
[ T: CHRISTINE ] I canāt very well take a picture of my heart, can I?
sheet NOW covers him, the detective forgotten of all duties save for responding to the woman on his phone. Christine, the dear. what has she DONE to him?Ā
[ T: CHRISTINE ] Corny as it is - it is something that means more than you know.Ā [ T: CHRISTINE ] So make due with this.
research of THIS type of behavior was never on his list. so he takes the road of impulse. camera is readied and there is a click, showcasing a bare chest against white sheets; hint of face in view and a charmed smile clear. hardly a CHANGE of what he has given her in private, perhaps special as he has never once in his life taken what others refer asĀ āsensualā. if it was acceptable, Sherlock does not know. but it is what he can OFFER.
[ T: CHRISTINE ] { image sent. }Ā
drcpalmer:
Snorting softly at his phrasing, so formal, she canāt help the flash of adoration she feels at the silly man. Clearly he was out of his depth here, which was fine, these werenāt water that she treated often either. But that didnāt mean she was going to miss out on this opportunity when heād clearly gotten in the spirit of things and this was the kind of behavior and response she wanted to encourage from him, for her own selfish gain.Ā
And it never ceases to amaze her, how he managed to know things he simply shouldnāt, so turning on the camera function of her phone, she lifts the hem of his white shirt over the hem of her panties, showing just a sliver of soft, pale underbelly. The underwear isnāt anywhere near lingerie, they are soft, blue and cotton and practical, but she was that kind of woman, a gentle flush comes over her face as she readies to send the picture.Ā
[sms: Sherlock]: image sent
[sms: Sherlock]: Well done Detective.Ā
Covering her face with her hands, sighing out and giving a little moan of embarassment, sheās quick to type out another text before she loses her nerve.Ā
[sms: Sherlock]: What would I have to do to get a pic of my own?
there is that primal instinct which overcomes him, the type he NEVER understood to be soĀ tractable. hint of skin bare. the trace of cotton inline with hip. women FASCINATE him in more desirable ways - or he ponders, it is THIS woman who has changed an idea of one Sherlock Holmes. the picture is saved in a private file, something to savor when these LIMITED seconds came to be.
he is wandering back towards his bedroom, the flat empty and alarmingly WARM. but he knew, that had little to do with a FAULT of central heating.
[ T: CHRISTINE ] Beautiful.Ā You are stunning. And I am positive you are blushing.
truly sheĀ was and thatĀ inclination of a male is rushing to his HEART. beats skip, fingers idly tap against surface of phone, writing a reply GENTLY and assuredly.Ā
[ T: CHRISTINE ] You could answer one question. Ā [ T: CHRISTINE ] What is your favorite part of me?Ā

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just saying -Ā
i donāt think you understand
iĀ wantĀ invasive anons that piss my character off.Ā iĀ wantĀ questions about their family and lovers and etc.Ā iĀ wantĀ responses to memes (you never know what a meme can do). iĀ wantĀ random magic anons.
iĀ wantĀ to interact with my followers.Ā
you are always free to send me anything, anonymous or not.
drcpalmer:
{ @consultndeduceā cont from here }Ā
It had been meant as a joke, more to entertain herself then actual want of the usual outcome when one texts that particular line. Only, she gets a rather intriguing reply, and for a moment she wonders if someone else has his phone. Biting her lip she stares at the blinking cursor for a few moments before typing out her reply.
[sms: Sherlock]: That shirt I stole off of you.
[sms: Sherlock]: And if you can deduce what color panties Iāll send you a pic ;)
[sms: Sherlock]: You wearing those sheets in bed or�
Leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for her coffee to percolate, she eagerly awaits the reply. As heās so fond of saying, the game was on.
try as he can there is no escaping just HOW this would make him feel. human reactions were often troublesome for the detective, ALAS, he falls into them too often since the realization of how WELL they could assist in... other means.
tongue dampens lips as he thinks back to what shirt she refers to. color would make a mild chance to what her challenge would be - but he takes a STAND.Ā
[ T: CHRISTINE ] Kitchen. Had to make tea, didnāt feel like getting dressed. [ T: CHRISTINE ] I could easily find myself back in bed at any moment.
only does he pause to REFLECT. oh he canāt help the grin that surfaces.
[ T: CHRISTINE ] Blue. Or some variation of it. Do I win a picture?