Conjectured Knowledge

So after the whole fucking situation with Andrew last night, he’s finally fucking gone.

We ended up staying up because of it and even now, I can finally feel fucking free again.

I feel sensitive and raw

I think I’d much rather feel this was than not at all.

I don’t even mind is anymore.

So the Andrew thing should be taken care of today, even though I somewhat doubt that. Then back to my mindset, I haven’t really felt any emotions since being frustrated last night before.

Thoughts about Her are kind of pleasurably annoying with the whole him thing and how she looks at me.

I’m really happy about having Shay

So waking up seems to have been mastered, I’m sure it’s dependent on herb though.

I think Shay is definitely correct when it comes to how to handle the angel situation. You definitely should work on this friendship, take this time as an opportunity to enjoy it like you would’ve with your other buddies.

I do want to recognize that we will face a withdraw period Saturday, which we need to find out if we’re working or not because of the Gumbo and the lights in the ballroom.

Well at this point the only thing I can actually sense is that we’re gaining confidence about working.

We didn’t have the much difficulty getting up besides the being cold thing.

And Andrew didn’t bother me when he got home, which surprised me.

Also it seems our mind has then slipped back into the weekly scheduled mindset, with all of our energy focused on payday

Which based on the thought we had last night, we’ll need to decide on how to spend the money before.

I’d say food and phone after rent.

I’d like to consider at least having a Journal entry in the morning like this to assess everything.

For example, the whole “waiting for Her” thing that we discovered while doing the dishes

I couldn’t really tell you much else other than the respect thing. I needed to learn to respect women entirely, this gave me a chance to do it.

Well I also disagree with He as a suitable partner for Her: he’s far too young and inexperienced. Not to mention if she was smart she would be looking for someone to be a father for her child.

You know it actually makes a lot of sense now why neither of us are actually looking for that.

We both already have that part filled up, with Them.

So that means it was supposed to free us up for something more, or less, depending.

Which means that she is extremely close now, and They will be the ones to promote it.

Which all that really means is that this was what we’re using to Cope with the current absence, and working just gives us the isolation from everything and everyone.

I think that we have a lot to work on, with Her alone; you have some serious unresolved emotion with her