Dungeons and Dragons is a bad* game

Being attracted to any kind of body is normal. Fat bodies. Trans bodies. Disabled bodies. All normal. Being extra attracted to a specific kind of body is normal too. Totally normal to have a type.

Not unlearning the societal stigma attached to those kinds of bodies, the people who inhabit those bodies, and the people who fuck them, to the point where you do any of the following:

Only want to date/fuck the person in secret.

Reduce the person to the feature that you desire and ignore the rest of who they are as a person.

Expect the person to be a walking porn fantasy instead of a real person with their own sexual preferences and boundaries.

Would no longer love the person if the stigmatized aspect of their body changed.

Consider yourself superior to the person, think the person should be 'grateful' that you love their body, etc.

See the person as a temporary adventure while planning to eventually settle down with someone whose body isn't stigmatized.

Is bad and harmful and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you've worked on your shit, because this makes you a very terrible partner. This doesn't mean you are a bad person with bad-fetishist-desires who can only desire people badly, it means you need to unlearn societal stigma so you can be a better partner to the people you desire.

Being attracted to any kind of body is normal. Fat bodies. Trans bodies. Disabled bodies. All normal. Being extra attracted to a specific kind of body is normal too. Totally normal to have a type.

Not unlearning the societal stigma attached to those kinds of bodies, the people who inhabit those bodies, and the people who fuck them, to the point where you do any of the following:

Only want to date/fuck the person in secret.

Reduce the person to the feature that you desire and ignore the rest of who they are as a person.

Expect the person to be a walking porn fantasy instead of a real person with their own sexual preferences and boundaries.

Would no longer love the person if the stigmatized aspect of their body changed.

Consider yourself superior to the person, think the person should be 'grateful' that you love their body, etc.

See the person as a temporary adventure while planning to eventually settle down with someone whose body isn't stigmatized.

Is bad and harmful and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you've worked on your shit, because this makes you a very terrible partner. This doesn't mean you are a bad person with bad-fetishist-desires who can only desire people badly, it means you need to unlearn societal stigma so you can be a better partner to the people you desire.

and it applies to so much!!!! i try to take whatever i’m beating myself up over, like “i haven’t been eating enough veggies lately so i suck as a human,” and instead reframe it as “my body deserves all the important nutrients found in vegetables” and suddenly i’m ten billion times more inclined to actually prioritize eating more veggies

When I was growing up and transitioning, it was understood that trans women were more vulnerable to bigotry as just an observable fact. It was unspoken.

I have been hurt by transphobia sure but it was never because I was specifically FtM. What I mean by that is this -that people who hate trans men ALWAYS hate trans women too.

Yet I have met many cis people who don't mind trans men but LOATHE trans women, seeing us as 'quirky gender outlaws' while still viewing trans women as predatory men invading some 'sacred female space.'

Example: no one ever bothered me for presenting masculine things at work, even when my beard was too long for our work standard.

Yet the day my freshly-out trans femme coworker wore tights to work, her department manager pulled her aside within an hour of her clocking in and made her go home and change!

The cis girls were never bothered for wearing tights even if they were wearing colors/styles that were against technically against dress code.

The same HR lady who helped me change my legal name in our employee roll did nothing to help this girl when I reported the manager who singled her out. Even speaking up for her got me labeled as being 'dramatic.'

She quit within the week, it was awful. ( I am glad to report she got a better job and recently got her legal name change and is four years on E at this point! )

I've had to cut ties with many people over them saying weird shit about trans women to me, that job being one of those ties! I was there for five years but seeing what happened to the girl made me lose all my faith in their 'inclusive' claims, so I left.

If you don't want my trans women peers around, you don't get my trans masc self either! That's how it should be.

All trans men must practice zero tolerance for transmisogyny otherwise we can never expect trans girls/women to buy into claims of solidarity from us trans men. The world is coming at the girls from all sides, we shouldn't be adding onto their stress by repeating rainbow-flavored TERF talking points.

It says a lot that the public generally perceives us (trans guys) as ready to agree with the whole "lol trans women are freaks, amiright??" Bullshit.

The reputation is there because many trans men are too chickenshit to speak up for their sisters. At worst, they agree with the transmisogyny.

I have been trying to educate the younger men about why TME vs TMA is needed in trans discussions but it has been an obnoxiously uphill battle. Many do not want to listen.

Your page is a great resource for breaking down the aspects of transmisogyny that trans men miss or don't consider, thank you for putting it up. It gives me the language to dismantle transandrophobia arguments.

This issue is something older trans men need to get active in correcting this behavior. Trans men have to teach our younger bros to be better than this otherwise it will keep spreading like redpill shit did among cis dudes. The fact that so many trans women are doing the emotional labor of educating these buttheads isn't fair and I don't blame all of you trans femmes for being frustrated.

Sending this privately because I don't want to seem like I am stating my peace for clout.

You rock ✌️ and don't let the bastards get you down.

Look, I made a collection of Fandom cakes that I found!