the way usamericans talk about their military fucks me up. thank you for what service like which service are they providing you with. they're protecting your country from what. they're fighting for the freedom of whomst. why do they need to do that for and why are they doing in it in the middle east

i genuinely don't think there's much, if anything, hotter than someone clearly having a blast doing something they're really good at. doesn't really matter what it is. the combo of competence and joy is absolutely lethal to me

How do you go through all the effort of setting up a sous vide to do this????

never tell me that magic isnt real ever again when this is clear evidence of a person transmogrifing Meat into Wood

i can transmogrify meat into wood by lookin at pictures of titties if ya get what im sayin

hey, we all love tiddies here but this person has perpetrated a crime against nature and we need you stay focused

burgers are awesome. so are pussies. so you'd think something called the "borgussy" is something very good, but according to my friend Karl Marx such is not the case.

So as an Antarctic expert I need to add to this that we had not in fact been to Antarctica when it was named. The ancient Greeks decided that because there was an Arctic at the top of the world, with bears, there had to be an opposite at the other end, without bears. Which is kind of ridiculous except that the fuckers were dead on

when you make a grilled cheese sandwich, well, you just gotta cut that sucker diagonally

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

This would be a place of worship if I bought it

blue-haired liberal sounds like the name of a delicate endangered species of bird