Friendly Neighborhood Advice Blog

-CHECK THE FAQ- This is a blog for self-harmers. You can talk to me at anytime and I will get back...

i believe i'd be more fit to help you on my personal blog, especially if you come off anon, but i understand if you want to stay anonymous. in our tags we do have links to suicide hotlines, coping websites, etc, and i'll reblog a pretty link-heavy coping post if you think that will help you. 

maybe try sitting down and thinking about what the reason may be--i know you say there isn't one, but you may just be repressing or ignoring a bigger factor to try to cope. i do the same thing a lot. is there anyone in your household/physical friend group you could talk to as well? i want to help, but i know that my powers are limited from behind a computer screen ;-;

Oh!! That's great that you're taking the first few steps to getting help. I know it's hard and probably terrifying :(

but i will assure you that no matter what, the people there aren't going to judge you for anything. when talking to them, you should be honest rather than beat around the bush. tell them your issues straight up, to the best of your ability. if you're uncomfortable with the person/people they have you talk to, ask to talk to someone else. 

you should try to talk to some suicide hot and chat lines, specifically ones for teens?

maybe try talking to your sister again and telling her that you simply need HELP, and if she's not willing to help you, then she needs to at least find someone who can

be honest and tell her that it's serious and you're scared and "getting over it" isn't working so far

also, suicide hot lines and chat lines should be able to help more than i can ;v; im sorry this isn't super in depth and i really do hope that you find a way to get better!! 

try to talk to your family again; not about how much you dislike yourself, but how much you want to lose weight. if they're willing, have them take you to a doctor and pediatrician. the doctor/s can help you make a plan of how to lose weight and help you track your progress. ask them about things like weight watchers too.

IF this is not a possibility, talk to another family member or family friend that could get you similar help. If you're still in school, ask a guidance counselor and physical education teacher for help. 

unfortunately, sometimes friendships just can't be the same after certain traumas--and hooking up can definitely be a "trauma".

in my opinion, him breaking up with you so he wouldn't "hurt you" is a shitty excuse. some people believe this is true, that it's better to cut ties before things get too serious, but it's not always that way. sometimes, it hurts more than things just naturally not working out. 

i think you should talk to him about why he thinks he'll hurt you, why he doesn't trust himself, etc. think about how much you like him and if he's worth the trouble. if you can't be "together", do your best to continue to be friends--and if he doesn't return the gesture, then you don't need him. 

do what you feel is right

report him anonymously and everything should work out fine

First tip: deodorant.

i know this sounds awkward, but putting deodorant on your thighs when wearing shorts/dresses/etc will help them from chaffing and getting irritated so much 

second tip: try to remember that if someone is getting intimate with you, they probably don't actually care about stretch marks or scars. from what i've learned, almost no one cares about them but yourself! if anyone ever makes fun of you for that kind of stuff, then you really don't need them around you, do you?

There is no "age" where you're supposed to start dating. You should start dating when *you* are comfortable; not when everyone else is or wants you to.

To get more attention from boys, try to be more out going. Talk to them first, compliment how they look, ask about homework, schoolwork, etc.

Also, maybe 'dress up' a bit more. Curl your hair, straighten it, wear your nicest clothes, wear some make up if you want. Ask your friends how they 'dress up' or look nice, etc, maybe have them help you. This might also boost your confidence! 

All right let me tell you my advice for crushes is almost always to tell the person and it is the same here!! For lots of reasons but I will answer your last question first

Love is different for everyone and it's not always "gushy kiss kiss fall in love" shit. Sometimes it's "oh my god why are we not closer why can't I tell them how I feel how do I EVEN ACTUALLY FEEL what is going on???!??" and it can be really stressful and make you doubt your feelings, especially since you are probably close friends. But let me tell you: the best course of action is to have confidence! Don't doubt yourself! Be brave and strong!!!

If you like him, tell him. Ask to go on a date--a little movie date, to dinner, whatever--as 'more than friends' for practice or to see how it goes. If it goes well, then yes! Good! Date him, kiss him, fall in love, etc!!! If it doesn't, you can still be friends and you won't have to worry about what ifs. 

You don't have to do this right away, but you aren't willing to tell him at all, ever, then you may as well give up because there's no point in pining over someone you'll only ever admire from afar. I know these are harsh words but it's true. Falling in love with someone that you won't ever tell that to is a good way to get hurt, and you don't want that, right?

I can't tell you where things went wrong, but I can tell you that this is not acceptable behavior. You miss him? That's normal. That's okay. But he is dangerous, for you and your baby. If he'll hurt you, he'll hurt the baby. If he says he'll kill you, take him seriously.

Get out as quickly as possible. Don't tell him; leave while he is at work or, even though it's risky, send him on an errand (a food run, maybe) and leave during that. Have a family member or friend pick you up asap, and be sure that he has no idea where you and the baby are going. Don't leave a note. Don't tell anyone who doesn't absolutely need to know. Just go.

Then, once you are safely away from him, document everything you can and go to the police. Take pictures of any and all current cuts or bruises and save everything in at least two, maybe even three different places. Write down and type up the details of what he did. Take it all to the police.

As much as it may cost, do your best to get a restraining order from him for both you and the baby. Get full custody. Don't let him anywhere near you or the baby anymore, because whether or not he's done this before, you need to be absolutely sure, ABSOLUTELY SURE, without a doubt, that it will not happen again.

You may love and miss him, and that's okay. But please, remember that you aren't just doing this to keep yourself safe--you're doing it for your baby, too. Because you love the baby more than him. Because you love YOURSELF more than him.