Complicated Camille

Me

Tumblr is making me feel quite aggravated. I’m writing posts but half of the time they’re not showing up. You’ve missed fun California facts (including the official state song), the Muni & Food Tour, heck, you may even miss this one! WTF Tumblr?!?

How do I know when it’s time to go to bed? When the birds start chirping and Brittany’s “Oops I Did It Again” starts running through my head. This has got to stop! But as long as it's happening, I will enjoy hearing the first birds chirp break the silence of night and watching the colors come into the sky through the silhouettes of the pine trees. It’s a little bit magical.

Apparently I didn't screw the cap on tightly before shaking. Normal people may have cleaned up right away, but I walked across the house to get my phone and document this moment of awesomeness to share with y'all. Notice the chunk of minced garlic on my nose. Not shown: the rest of it dripping down my legs and between my toes. Hope you have enjoyed laughing along with me. 😂

I AM GRATEFUL for the night time that is cooler than the day. I am grateful for the summer reminding me that I like the winter (after this past one I decided that I hated winter). I am grateful for my kickass blender and the life-sustaining ice-cold shakes it makes me. I am grateful that it is not humid here (I love California). I am grateful for this beautiful place I currently live, it feels like home to me.

I’m baaaaaaaaaaack.

Tomorrow I go in for my last shift at the firehouse. Probably my last shift as a firefighter. Ever. I’m having mixed feelings about this. I am surprised at the loss of identity I am feeling. I reached out to a friend who was a seasonal firefighter throughout college and asked if she had experienced anything like this when she left. She didn’t; but in her note back to me she did say exactly what I needed to hear. This part struck me particularly strong: “Correct me if I’m wrong, but it always seemed to me that your passion was always on the EMT/ambulance side of things. If I was trained to save lives and I spent all day putting out brush fires, I would be out of there so fast! It sounds like you will get to focus more on what you love, so I’m excited for you and your next adventure.” She’s right. In VA being a firefighter allowed me to pursue my passion; you couldn’t be a Paramedic on a ambulance without being part of a fire department. In CA the fire service is a different beast, it’s rare that fire departments have ambulances associated with them. I am making the right decision; I believe this. Still I can’t help but feel a little lost.

Tonight I had a family birthday party. I decided to take advantage of my baller job status and do games with the kids. We put out "fires" with a hose and responded in our "engine" to get a cat out of a tree. They tried on my way to big for them fire gear and the we had a fire engine piñata. It was fun with the kids. Then my parent put in a great spread and we feasted! The weather was great and the company was wonderful. It was a great time (at least for me - hopefully for everyone).

*No, Mom, I am not talking about you. I have never used these words in reference to you. I love you.*

Um, and now it’s 03:30 and I’m starting to finally wind down. I am going to hate myself in three hours when my alarm goes off.

I got home around midnight and thought for a moment what I wanted to do to kick off my birthday celebration. Watch a movie, eat brownie batter, go to bed, all were good options. Then out of nowhere it hit me: soak in the hot tub. The pool technically closes at 10pm but I figured if I was quiet as a church mouse no one would know. I was right. So I sat, completely relaxed, suspended in warm water, listening to One Eskimo on my headphones, completely enjoying the peace. It was kind of magical. Happy Birthday to me!

G: ...I'll throw you a real party instead of a pity one. Pity ranks up there with Tupperware and Nazi as the worst parties.

I got to FaceTime with baby James; he’s so cute and little! And K looks a little tired, as new moms usually do. Don’t tell her I posted this picture, she’d kill me.

C: I was kind of selfish tonight, changing plans on my sister for next week because I wanted to do something else. If this were my friends in DC, they would understand. But this is not, it's my sister and I'm not sure how she works. And she has a little guy whose feelings I didn't take into account either. Life is much more complicated now then it used to be.

Tonight Liz and I went to a chocolate making class. It was more of a chocolate dipping class, but regardless it was so fun! Part of what made it so fun was that Rachel Dunn, the owner of the place, was doing the teaching and she was amazing. You could tell that she loved making chocolate with every fiber of her being. As she shared with us her tips and recipes, so that we could recreate exactly what we were doing there at home, she was glowing with excitement. It was pretty cool to see someone with that much passion for their job - and she’s been doing this since 1980! Who do you know that still loves a job they’ve been doing for 35 years? Me neither. And of course I couldn’t leave without grabbing some chocolate making stuff. I am a sucker for sweet things.

Tuesday I got to catch up with my dear friend Kim. We literally sat in Chili's for three hours talking and eating chips with ranch salsa. (Don't worry, we tipped well.) It was heartening to see how great she is doing, as life has not always dealt Kim the easiest cards. I was able to meet her serious boyfriend and get to know him a little, she seems really happy with him and that was so wonderful to see. We walked through the model home of the house she just signed for; she showed me where my bedroom would be. Then we went across the street from the model and stood on her plot of land. She owns land! I don't have any single friends who own land. That was the part I thought was the coolest. While we were together I also received a great email letting me know that I got an interview for a part-time job. So we ended our evening with the quickest shopping trip ever (seriously, it was a whirlwind) to get me some black interviewing pants. As I traveled back home this [above] was my sky. It was a great day. Follow up: I had the interview. I think it went well. I really want this part time job, the people seemed great. Should hear back next week. Fingers crossed!