red light lala

i hate to sound like a past situationship on your birthday but i'm sorry for being gone for so long. life became hectic and everything became so overwhelming for me that i could barely take care of myself, let alone my tumblr.

but when the news broke, i was (and am) just devastated. complete, and utterly broken. words can't describe how upset i am. enha is literally the only group i stanned these past few years, and they were one of my only ways out of this frantic life. i thought we were seven or nothing.

now, all i want to do is just escape. i know it's wrong for me to keep going as if nothing happened but i would like to stay like this for a while. ffs, the whole world is literally going to shit right now so i think an escape is justified. i need to go back to where i can create my own happy place and i hope i can invite you guys to it as well.

it's been a while. a long while.

i've missed being here so much— the writing, the fantasy, the community, everything. a lot has happened while i was on 'break' and with every passing thing that happened to me, the more i just couldn't commit to writing, and you all know how i always feel soooo guilty if i come on tumblr with nothing to give you guys. i was planning to come back on my anniversary but.... whoops i kinda forgot... but i'm here for enha's 4 years!

small life update! i have graduated! and should have more time in my hands but i'm going through grad school applications for now so i'm gonna focus on that as much as i can. on top of that... me and my 5 year long boyfriend broke up soooooooo... i really avoided everything romance for a few months. but now i've moved on, and am ready to project my lovergirl-self into other things! i can't wait to get lost in my della world again.

i regret not engaging here despite being on writing break, especially with literally 0 explanation, and i hope you all forgive me. i am here now to start a revamp to this fit, meaning i will replace the original posts with what i feel like is an improved piece of work.

don't worry, i know how annoying it is to have your comfort fic deleted off the face of the internet and have this void in your heart that will never get filled and you just keep laying at night thinking about how that fic made you feel but you can never fully remember bc its literally GONE so i will keep the original version on wattpad!

DIAAAAA I MISSED YOU AND MILA and kiara LOADS DARLINGG 🤍 THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE MOODBOARD, IT'S GORGEOUS AS ALWAYS like its giving such it girl vibes I LOVE IT

here we are again. looking back at my achievements, looking back at my milestones

this past year hasn’t been the best for me, creativity wise but goddammit, i’m so grateful to have followers/readers as great as you all. i still get extremely excited over every ask/comment i receive and hopefully i’ll get to replying to them (or writing your requests) soon

i keep saying this but i think i’ve gotten harsher with myself in terms of the quality and i don’t think that my abilities can live up to that standard i have made for myself. i also keep telling myself to let it go but true perfectionists know how difficult it actually is

nevertheless, i hope my third year as a fanfic writer will be wayyyyy more successful (creativity wise) and i hope to make you all happy and excited and almost believing that enha is eight again

i love you all so much 🤍 here’s to another year and many many more years because as you know, i still have a loooooong list of requests to satisfy 🤍

but anyway!! so hyped for the crossover 🤭🤭🤭 I know I don’t shut up about it but it’s legit so exciting to see the collab bc you’re literally my favouritest oc writer 🤧 can’t wait to see it 🤭🤭🤭 but more importantly— hope you’re doing okay!! hope you’re taking care of yourself and aren’t too stressed! 💖💖💖

don’t worry about it! and OMG THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME YOU HAVE NO IDEA 🤍🤍

ahhh because in my mind, it’s more of an accidental universe hopping thingg like della unconsciously going to another universe and suddenly seeing HER MEN get cozy with another girl??? nah man, she’s gonna show some attitude 💥

🐻: “There’s no way they’d like me back—“

🐼: “Shhhhh!” ( aggressively puts finger to Della’s lips to shush her ) “It’s okay, trust me, I got this!” 😌

and then mila launches this huge elaborate plan with the help of alice where they try and stage “coincidental” meetings between them, and also just them hiding behind bushes watching della and the boys interacting and then high-fiving whenever they do anything remotely flirty 😆

it would be so funny 😆😆😆 sorry della, pls excuse my mila, she’s very chaotic and watches too many dramas so thinks she’s a love expert (she’s not) 😔✊

ANYWAY that’s all! sorry but I’m so delulu over the possibilities hope you’re okay with me idea dumping heheheh 🤭

hiii! idea dumping is 1000000% okay and appreciated! and i absolutely LOVE THIS IDEA OMGG though i’m a bit sad that mila is helping her ‘boyfriends’ get on with another girl in this universe ☹️ though this is sooo cutee!

in this universe I kinda imagined if they were both in enha — it was so fun to picture they’re dynamic hehehehe 🤭🤭🤭 anyway how are you?? hope you’re okay! 🩷

OMGOMGOMG THIS IS SO CUTE !! and ofc i don’t minddd

well how should i put this… thank you all so much for joining along on this journey with della, the boys, (alice) and i

i’ve always wanted to be an author yet any original work i’ve made just didn’t click to me. i contemplated if i should actually write a fanfic or just keep these ideas in my head. i just couldn’t stop thinking about della and finally decided ‘fuck it’

i remember getting crazy excited when i saw my first like and constantly rereading the first comment i got. seeing the milestones i have now just seems unbelievable. even until now, i still can’t believe that you guys like my writing and i’m incredibly grateful

i hope i can continue to write and develop della well (and hopefully even better). i never say this to y’all and whenever someone says ‘i love you’ i only reply with a thank you or a 🤍 but i love you guys. thank you so much for helping me escape reality when i need it 🤍