The Pictomancer

“Why do they even have a celebration day for fathers when so many of them up and left their kids. I hate days like this.”

“I guess I can let you off the hook this time, General No Fun. BUT you better not do this to me again, do you understand?! I worried my cute little face off way too much for you to just waltz in here and pretend you didn’t fuck up!”

“--If you’re gonna show up after so long, at least bring me something you icy bitch.”

“Are you sure it’s not the crust in your brain that makes you think you’re such hot shit?!”

“You wanna say that again you crusty old man?! There’s a reason that when you flirt with girls it gets you nowhere!!”

“Why have a nap when you can pay attention to lil ‘ol me?”

“If you’re here, that means you have an offering for the great Relm, right?!”

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?”

“I spend all day painting because you losers are too busy to spend time with me! Not to mention the payout is pretty great,too. --BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!”

“Every day is the damn same here. Where’s all the interestin’ stuff happening at?”

“Ah, but not everyone is dead, are they? There’s still a lotta people alive!”

“THAT WOULD INVOLVE EXERCISE SO I DON’T WANNA!”

“You fucked it up the first time; you don’t get a second chance!”