now somebody, anybody, everybody scream

insane how people think i can just do things. "can you mail me this?" and get killed by the post office desk workers?????!!!?

Excuse me heroin addicted teenage Walmart employee can you unlock the cabinet full of things to put up my ass please

Yeah I was hoping to need to have it rescanned by one of your other employees at the self checkout as well as having it visually inspected by the elderly receipt cop as well

HE FOUND TUMBLR??????

I’ve been here the whole time.

calling things "cutes" is so uh. what's a good word for when something is cute but slightly more cute

the word cutes is autological

countries will be like “nooooo our birth rate is falling exponentially and it’s effecting our economy” and immigrants will be like “hey can you let us in so we can boost your economy and fill your empty jobs and raise our children here” and inevitably the country is like “the only thing worse than a large scale collapse of our population is letting foreigners live here”

the issue with growing up in the 2000s and 2010s was like there was this really big push toward "accepting your weirdness" overall but they meant like idk wearing mismatched socks or something not being tangibly beyond the norm in any way shape or form

The way people think about pagans and witches is so funny because everyone acts like it's this dark forbidden art but then half the time it's you standing by your altar asking if Archangel Michael likes fish tacos or something

tumblr is the funniest social media site to go viral on

on tiktok people will quit their jobs after going viral once but on here not only can any post get 50k notes, but if it does theres nothing you can do with it. theres no monetization or any transferable skills at all. you just made a funny post and people liked it and thats the start and end of your career

you could say "i left the stove on" with no context and it might break containment on here and people start tagging it with ships and kins and theres no way to delete it forever unless staff gets involved. your mistake will never go away but your claim to fame will instantly

its like yes im the pineapple werewolf guy but no one outside of here and like 5 posts on reddit will ever know what that sentence means. i could jump on tiktok and no one would know me. no one on youtube or facebook. this is my little corner of the internet and i will die here before i give up that title and when i do know i lost nothing in the process