A colonel who is also a bastard. @colonel-bastard - Tumblr Blog

clark kent week day 2, omegaverse/soulmate AU/pet names. basically one big excuse to draw them cuddling

#this is an all-time favorite fanart for me #across all fandoms #it’s the Tenderness #superbat

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harleyglenn

I’m thinking of Beginning it all

guiltfactory-moved

the "my favorite character did nothing wrong" mindset is completely unappealing to me because i love thinking about all the things my favorite characters did wrong

elierlick

There is still time. It's never too late to transition.

#can confirm #transexuality RULES

dilf-din

The most important thing you can do in this life is write hyper-specific fanfiction for you and six other people. Don’t believe anything else you read.

#i’m doing my part!!!

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crypticpuffin

gay people on boats alignment chart. if you care

#honestly incredible how accurate this is #gay people on boats #genre of all time tbh

thejoggingdead

Do you think they ever explored each others bodies

#yeah i do think that op #i really really do #and i love the likenesses here #barryfuches

Fic - "Foxhole"

this one is dedicated to everyone who ever liked my tumblr post that was a screenshot of bill hader and stephen root talking about how the one thing barry wants is love and the one genuine place he gets it from is fuches <3

Title: Foxhole Characters/Pairings: Barry Berkman/Monroe Fuches Tags: Codependency, Neediness, Self-Esteem Issues, Blood and Injury, Aftermath of Violence, Emotional Baggage, Desperation, Hiding, Tight Spaces, Love Confessions, Requited Love, Violent Thoughts, Dry Humping, Hand Jobs, Frottage, Emotional Sex, Painful Sex, Closet Sex, Idiots in Love Summary:

“Please— please—” Barry whines, not even sure what it is he’s asking for until it comes out of his mouth. “Can we just— stay?”

The last word catches in his throat in a painful hitch, his eyes and lungs burning with the immediate, absolute clarity of it. Yes. This is it. This is what he wants. This is all he wants, all he needs, and all he’ll ever ask for again. Feeling equal parts perfectly lucid and totally delirious, Barry tightens his arms around Fuches’s neck, his broken nose digging into the collar of the white t-shirt as he buries himself in the smell.

“Please,” he begs. “Please just stay with me.”

A direct continuation of the prison bathroom scene from 4x01.

Read it on AO3.

#barryfuches #from the desk of colonel bastard #a fic that i was doomed to write from the moment i first saw these two idiots finally say 'i love you' to each other #the love is real!!!#gruesome and grotesque and monstrously undeniably real!!!#freaks of all time and i'll never be over it #like i say in the author's note:#writing this fic was like performing an exorcism on myself lmao #barry berkman #monroe fuches

wholeheartedsuggestions

what’s the most devastating song that comes to mind? like you’re on the verge of tears listening to it

#do you realize?? by the flaming lips

just found out that mike flanagan is making a fucking exorcist movie and this is where i draw the fucking LINE i need this man OUT of hollywood IMMEDIATELY!!!!

#friends and loved ones know how much i hatewatch all of his dogshit media #because it makes me feel so alive to despise something so viscerally #but this is just TOO MUCH #he can’t keep getting away with it dot gif #i was morbidly looking forward to his inevitable trainwreck of a carrie adaptation but this one just makes me maaaaaaad

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lousolversons

"People meet and sometimes they lock into each other like two long-sought-after pieces of a puzzle. As time goes on these pieces, they morph and they grow. And they can grow together and become stronger. Or they can become two completely different shapes that don't have any room for each other, they don't fit anymore." Barry Berkman + Monroe Fuches in Season 2 of BARRY

#unfortunately for everyone i have decided to become completely insane about Them again #me @ these two deranged co-dependent fucked-up little freaks: you're like my own personal brand of heroin #barry berkman #monroe fuches #THE gruesome twosome of all time #barryfuches

wonderstruck

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

#the last werewolf by glen duncan #an end cap impulse purchase at half price books #which might just be one of the worst books i have ever read #but i’m a completionist by nature so i’m muscling through it #it’s just been such a long time since i read anything written by a straight white cis man #and i had forgotten how much that fact always SATURATES the prose #i can’t remember what our first-person male protagonist looks like #but i sure do know what the breasts of every single female character look like

bob-artist

Brotherhood of The Orb

bob-artist

#laugh rule #well i will never not think of this from now until the last lash is rubbed from my orb

saucefunk

nespresso machine

#conclave #movie of all time #just had a rewatch and spent the entire time losing my damn mind #and this moment is a highlight every time

sairobee

because jurassic park is trans rep

(I'm hoping to offer risograph prints of this in 2026, with the majority of the profits donated to the Western Montana LGBTQ+ Community Center.)

#yeah yeah yeAH YEAH YEAH YEAHHHHHH #jurassic park #this artist Gets It

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animentality

melonisopod

acecream-and-cake

#sincerely my favorite movie of all time #for countless reasons #one of which is the fact that it’s literally about transgender dinosaurs #life finds a way #jurassic park

My only remaining Livejournal alert emailed me today at 8:30 pm to inform me today is your birthday. I do not know if that is true, but is so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! If not, hope it's a good laugh.

lmaoooo it is indeed my birthday and at my age there is nothing more appropriate to mark it than a livejournal alert

#thank you for the birthday wishes #i have been celebrating marvelously

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A colonel who is also a bastard.