“Maybe. Depends on how long I’m here, I think.” Already he knew it had been too long, but measuring exact time had never been something of interest to him; a timeless being had no need for a concept meant for those who lived and breathed its influence. He didn’t like unknowns, never had and never would, but those crafted by himself, by time, were easier to swallow down than those created by those around him. “Can’t say I’d expect much of that around here. It seems like a serious place,” he said, retreated another inch or so into himself to ponder over where he’d been funny. Realization wound up its fist in preparation to smack him, pouting as he reached the conclusion for himself, without its help – what a violent little thing it was. It would have to be faster next time. Dismissing it from his headspace with an invisible smirk, he pulled the lever to direct his thought train back onto a different set of tracks. Collin had probably thought he’d been making some sort of sarcastic comment, which was probably a reasonable thought if he didn’t know that he wasn’t really the sort for humor. Or was he? It was hard to say, with his varying levels of self, all of which depended on how congruent he was with his temporary form. He stepped carefully through the doorway, anticipation sinking lazily into a comfortable spot in his stomach as a light breeze reached to meet him. “Winter was getting a bit tiring, I guess. I just hope it doesn’t get too warm.”

The man radiated a strange energy that Colin was determined to find a way around. He walked along the grass, the fresh dew staining his leather shoes with dark spots “It’s England, it never gets too hot. And if one of those rare days happen to come around, it won’t last very long.” Colin finally settled on a bench, the wood gently creaking under the weight of his person. From his inside pocket, he pulled out a metallic holder that he opened to reveal cigarettes. He pulled one out and held it delicately between his lips as he flicked the lighted that had been sitting in his pocket the whole day, eagerly burning the tip of his smoke.

Finn looked the man over, he didn’t look familiar, but that didn’t surprise him, everything in this place confused him.  “I know someone gave me a tour when I got here, but I can’t…I can’t seem to remember where anything is.”  When the other man mentioned a map, Finn felt his heart lift a bit, “Really?  There’s actually a map?  You guys should post it on the walls or something, like they do in malls, that would probably help…well, it would help me.”  He raised his eyebrows, “The infirmary? Are you a doctor?” 

“Don’t worry, this place can be very confusing. It took me a while to get accustomed to it.” Colin gave the man a small nod “I found it just the other day, laying on a table. I’m very surprised no one has done it until now, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a staff who made it.” he answered, a tone of pleasant surprise in his voice “I’m a nurse.” he gave the man a smile “Though I’m aiming to become a doctor in the future. I’m Colin by the way.” 

Colin’s expression mimicked hers, the smile that had spread on her lips almost seemed like a grimace to her, alienating and strange, but it was a beautiful one nonetheless. “My father called me foolish, and other things as well, but I try not to think about what the illness turned him into. My mother longly spoke to me about what he was like before it happened to him.” He looked down once more, playing the memories of his home in the back of his mind, a smile that screamed sadness and nostalgia. Some were good, but most of them were heart struck thoughts that poked at his beating organ like an icicle and spread its mana among his thoughts “I just wish I had met him before he changed, so I’d have some real memories of him being kind to hold on to.” He closed his eyes and shook his head before opening them again, a peaceful smile resting on his face “Sorry, got a little carried away there.” A small laugh escaped his lips “Tell me Amanda, how are you finding the place so far?”

“Finally. I was starting to think they were trying to actually make me crazy.” His eyes flitted to the side, thinking over the proposal. Would he help if he refused? He didn’t know. It was an unknown. He didn’t like unknowns. “Sure, I don’t mind.”

“Great.” Colin gave the man a small smile, ignoring his previous comment. “It’s somewhat a struggle to find your way around at first, but you’ll get around the confusion soon enough, everyone eventually does.” He began walking along the corridor “And in all honesty, I had a hard time getting used to the twists and turns of this place when I arrived.” He walked at an eased pace, not rushing himself or the new patient “I’m Colin by the way, the nurse.” He offered him an open palm, ready for a handshake.

“Do you know how to get outside? They won’t tell me which way to go.”

“Surely I can help you with that.” Colin gave the man a nod “May I join you? I could use a break.”

“Let me help you.” Colin came airport walking towards the man and placed his hand a few inches away from his back “It’s a little too easy to get lost in here sadly, I must admit. Luckily I found a drawing that mapped out very precisely every room of this place. I made a few copies in anticipation of an event like this. Whoever drew the map has surely made us a favour.” he attempted to ease the mood “If you wouldn’t mind accompanying me to the infirmary, I’ll grab it and show you around.”

Collin could feel her eyes on him, he could tell she was studying him and that only made him grow more nervous. After all, he had only been here for a few months. He was more used to medical hospitals than psychiatric wards. All of the people that surrounded him had much darker pasts than he did and therefore some of their mental capabilities were much more defined and stronger than his, but he didn’t let that thought discourage him from doing the best he could. 

Collin felt a lump in his throat he tried to swallow with the help of tea. He never enjoyed the negative aspects of his job, but it came along with the good sides and he wasn’t one to reject a pleading hand in need of help “I did, but it doesn’t mean that I enjoy knowing that you ever needed to carry a knife around.” he looked up from the troubled tea in his mug and focused his gaze on her. Her traits had so much more depths than they allowed to show at first sight “A child being deprived of his or her childhood is the worst thing you could do to a being. It is that developmental period of your life that will determine how you act and behave as an adult.” The lump in his throat had now grown twice its size. He desperately wanted to scratch the side of his mug but he knew better than to show his anxiety to a patient. He had gotten better over the years at hiding his emotions, though he was no expert yet. “I know your childhood cannot be regained, but you can make the best of the second chance you are being given. It’s not gonna be easy, it never is, but I believe you can make it. You seem like a strong willed woman with a lot of misused energy that can be reformed and directed in another direction.” Collin felt himself rambling on, almost making no sense. He didn’t like giving what sounded like a prep talk to new patients, it felt like fake hopes. Yet, he meant every word of it. He knew it was possible.

She leaned forward to bite but only bit the air, she wasn’t really near him as her teeth clanked together. The soothing action of him caressing her hand gave her something to focus on and helped her recover faster, tears streamed down her face when she realised. 

Collin relaxed at her words and allowed himself to sit in the chair opposite her. He cupped his hands around the warm mug before taking a sip himself. Her reaction caused him to crack a smile, almost spilling his tea “No need to sugarcoat it. It’s nothing special.” he shook his head lightly “But I appreciate the effort you made.” he took another sip before making a small grimace “I don’t understand how you can take your tea without sugar.” he let out a small laugh “It’s so blend and uninteresting. My mother always drank her tea like that, but I never got around to liking it this way.” he pulled out two long, thin pink sachets that he ripped and poured into his tea “Emergency sugar.” he informed her with a smile. “You never know when it might come in handy.”

Once again, he gave a nod at her words. The faint shadow of a smile surely made him feel more confident about the situation. He strode off to the counter and grabbed two mugs. Placing a bag of English Breakfast in each cup, he filled it with the water that had been pre heated. Stirring the tea bags in the slowly darkening water, he wrung them before throwing them into the trash. Remembering her words he skipped the sugar and went straight for the milk, adding three drops in each, lighting the colour of the liquid. Pleased with the cent and the colour of the teas, Collin finally made his way back to Amanda, setting her mug in front of her “I hope you like milk in your tea” he froze for a second before frowning “I’m sorry I should’ve asked first if you wanted some milk... I can always make another one if you don’t take milk in your tea.” He had already placed his mug on the table, yet he was still on his feet, ready to correct the tea if she wished to have it another way.

Collin turned around as he noticed she hadn’t moved yet. He gave her a small nod “I totally understand and I accept them. Anything to make you more comfortable.” He drew a half circle around him, indicating her to begin walking. He felt the uneasiness in her words and movements, though he wouldn’t have expected anything less coming from a new arrival. It was never easy being admited in a place like this, especially for the patients coming from darker backgrounds. Everyone here had a different story and had to be handled with care, that was something Collin knew too well and always tried his best to do. 

Amanda had been capable of handling the most difficult of individuals in her time as the Jigsaw Killer’s accomplice. She had been his right-hand woman, his most trusted second-in-command. She had taken down lead detectives whose offices were lined with numerous awards and who were recognized as being valiant heroes; she had disarmed and dismembered notorious drug dealers, many of whom she had evaded during her drug-using days herself; she had conquered ex-convicts and pimps and murderers. And yet, she had never felt more threatened than she did when conversing with a soft-hearted man–someone who seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve, someone non-domineering and honest. How could she trust someone like him? Someone gentle and warm, when all the people whom she had ever known had been calculated and cutting? He reminded her of Adam, and her heart sank. His blush amused her, but she had to be cautious; she did not let the attraction to the reddening of his cheeks appear on her face. After a long period of silence, she sucked in a breath, and decided to take a chance. She always regretted doing that. “—Amanda,” she breathed so softly that her words could have been inaudible. She hoped that she would not regret saying that dastardly word.

Collin could see the strength she had built up in herself to have come to terms with telling him her name. He felt himself filled with warmth, she had trusted him enough so far to have told him her name. “Amanda is a beautiful name.” he answered with an unmistakeable tone of happiness in his voice “I was on my way to grab some tea. Would you like to join me?” he asked hopeful she’d accept his request. There was nothing Collin loved more than talking to the patients in other terms than when they came to the infirmary with some kind of injury.

Collin felt a pinch in his chest at the word she seemed to have almost whispered, though what she followed with certainly had felt like a slap to the face. He felt himself blushing, his face going hot, though he tried his best not to let it get the best of him “I have no reasons for wanting to take advantage of you...” his voice was soft, and the confidence he had tried to add to it seemed to have been crushed by his embarrassment. He cleared his throat in an attempt to also clear his mind and ease the mood “I apologise, I didn’t even introduce myself. My name is Collin Ledger, I’m a nurse. And I can guarantee you that I do not wish to take advantage of you.” he could not hold eye contact with her at those words. The simple thought of even doing such a thing was utterly crazy and very embarrassing to him “But I’ll let you be the judge of that.” he followed with “May I ask for you name, miss?”