GUYS HOLY SHIT

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@coles-chaotic-eyebrows
GUYS HOLY SHIT

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so back when my little brother was in high school, my mom went as a chaperone for their senior year field trip to an amusement park. which, you know, brave move to volunteer to supervise a bunch of high school seniors let loose in a wonderland of rollercoasters and sugar
my brother and his friends in this field trip group were truly great kids. but they were not above run of the mill teenage boy shenanigans. it’s the end of senior year, you and all your buddies are at the amusement park, you’re naturally going to want to act like a complete moron
there was one kid in the group who was especially prone to goofing around. committed to the bit, some may say. my mom knew that if nonsense was going to break out, he’d likely be at the center of it
so she goes up to this kid at the very start of the trip and says “hey, i’m kinda worried about this chaperoning thing. this might be a lot to ask, but can you help me keep an eye on everyone? you wouldn’t have to do anything big, just be an extra set of eyes for me.”
friends, this kid proceeded to run their field trip group like the fucking us marines. everyone is at the meet up spots at the designated time. everyone waits in line for the rides like a bunch of boy scouts. the second the horseplay gets too out of hand, this kid is getting it back under control
it’s incredible how differently people act based on the expectations you set. instead of going to this kid and saying “hey, i know you’re trouble, so i’ve got my eye on you,” my mom went “hey, i know you have influence in your peer group, so i think you can help me.”
treat someone like a problem, they’ll act like a problem. but give people a chance to help, make them feel important, and they usually rise far above the occasion. it was a stroke of genius that i’m honestly still in awe of
This story makes me think of the time my school bus was taking us home after school, but encountered some kind of engine trouble on a very twisty, hairpin turning canyon road. It kept going, it was just going veeeerrryy sloooowwww, and that means the regular cars were getting stuck behind it. I'm really not kidding about the tight, twisty turns, and this road being narrow. One lane each way, drivers frequently at medium to high speeds, but you couldn't see very far ahead in either direction. If you tried to just go into the opposing traffic (lane going in the opposite direction), you were taking a pretty big risk -- if a car was traveling at speed, you wouldn't know until it hit you. But I'm also not kidding about how slow our bus was going, which increasingly meant some drivers got fed up and took that risk anyway. Now, me and the other kids in the back of the bus were initially only watching this with passive interest... ...but remember, this is a school bus. It was long, and while the drivers behind is could not see the road ahead, the kids at the front of the bus could. One driver started to move into the opposing lane, but a kid at the front of the bus (also not initially paying attention) called out, "uh, guys, there's a car--" And me and everyone else in the back of the bus immediately went 🙅🙅♂️🙅♀️ flailing around to cross our arms at that driver, convinced we were about to watch a nasty car crash happen less than ten feet away from us. Except that driver stopped. They stopped, and when the bus inched forward another two feet, they even eased back into our lane, just in time for the opposing car to pass by. When the kids on the bus realized that all these grown-ups were actually listening to us, it was a sea change. NO ONE was napping at that point. We immediately split up, with attentive kids moving to the front to squint out the windshields while the big (aka most visible kids) went to the back. Everyone was looking outside the bus, we rotated as kids got dropped off, we basically developed a call-and-response check system on the fly. The entire time, all these grown-up drivers behind us were paying attention; not a single one drove into the opposing lanes if we gestured for them to stop. Over a hundred grown-ups in cars put their lives in OUR hands, and when we knew that we respected the hell out of that and locked tf in. The reason why so many kids teenagers act like overgrown toddlers is because adults treat them as such. If you treat teenagers like the actual young adults they are, they'll usually act as such, too.

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I love that Dungeon Meshi's creator is like "I based Senshi off this old dude in our building that won't stop doing his laundry in his underwear, he's weird."
And tumblr (justifiably) wants him carnally.
Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake
We could have been eating him
characterpilled Unfollow
[photo of the character]
i love my this. the charactr
characterpilled Unfollow
charac te r. ... ... . .... #FUUUUCK. THE CHARACTER.
characterpilled Unfollow
DOES ANYBODY EVER THINK ABOUT .THE CHARACTER
characterpilled Unfollow
[1.5k word essay about the character] #but like idk maybe im wrong
characterpilled Unfollow
character i love youso badly.
^dash when someone is possessed by The Character core (this post is positive)
gift shopping for younger cousins is so scary like I want to be cool. but not seem clingy. or seem distant. but I want them to know that I care about them so so much and I am always here if they need someone to talk to. and also we only see each other like once a year. but I held them when they were babies and saw them grow up and I Want Them To Know I Care So So Much,
how do I let this middle schooler know id die for them on a $20 budget

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A 75 yo man proudly came into the cafe wearing an Ultra Maga hat. I excused my barista from the register to handle the transaction.
"The hat is customizable," he said, struggling with the velcro patch on the front. "If I need it, I have an ICE one too. I pick based off the business i walk into."
"Customizable is an important hat descriptor," I said. "what can I get you?"
"You wouldn't believe how offended people get these days," he said. "And I'm supposed to do something about it if you're offended? You chose to be offended!"
"We all have hundreds of thousands of decisions everyday," I said. I thickened my accent. "That's what my stepdad always said. But I can make one easier - we have a delicious Ethiopian roast available."
"Like if I told you you have a bull ring," he said, "because bulls have rings in their noses. Is that offensive?"
I laughed. "I've heard that before."
"It's a joke, but people get offended. Maybe you're offended."
I looked at him. I smiled. "You aren't trying to offend me though, right?"
Of course he was. I was being friendly and the friendlier I was, the faster he switched topics. He was saying anything inflammatory he could think of to see if I'd take the bait. After about 20 minutes of my redirecting and deescalating, he settled into a more normal interaction. He took up too much of my time showing me a product I'd feigned mild interest in to get him to stop talking about getting accused of inappropriate behavior at work. When we finally disengaged, he spent 10 minutes trying to catch my eye again. When he failed, he left.
There's this new breed of customer who insists on trying to incite political conversation through their clothing and, when that doesnt work, their snide little comments. If I owned my own business, maybe I would have given the guy the fight he wanted. But I work for a corporation and I love paying my bills so I deescalated.
Anyone wearing that type of shit and preying on workers for their own spank bank material is a brainless fucking sheep.
"Sham pockets in a[n everyday] dress are as exasperating as sham windows on a house."
-Demorest's Monthly Magazine, volume 19, 1882 (pp. 387)
PREACH
(Worth noting that most skirts did have large inseam pockets at this time, but some women still found them annoying because of inconvenient placement and occasional tendency to spill contents when skirts were held up to ascend or descend steps)
it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon
why aren't we doing this?
you 🫵 you can join the breeding project.
pick a tiny bird friend!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOBBY BOY HAPPY BOBBY BOY DAY!!
so grateful for this little silly sponge, would have no whimsy if it wasn’t for him :)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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im not using wojaks. get on my level