codename honey

guy : so i was getting a glass of water (a glass is just a commonly used cylinder closed off on the bottom in order to hold liquids btw)

when you’ve been “trying harder” your whole life, at everything, it just gets really tiring to hear people say it. people don’t seem to understand that with adhd you have to “try harder!” at almost everything you do. it’s sort of ingrained into you. you always expect that you have to put more effort into something than somebody else. so suggesting to “try harder” to someone with adhd is really not helping because often this is already the best we can do without additional support. “trying harder” is not an option unless we’ve completely given up and even then, this so-called advice is bullshit. 

Because we only give up when we’re completely exhausted from the effort of trying so hard. It hurts us deeply to have to give up, whether we mask it with maladaptive coping mechanisms or not. When we give up we have no more ability to try harder, we’ve tried our hardest. We failed again. Or maybe not, maybe the people sitting back and saying “"try harder” failed us because they never tried at all. They didn’t provide any help or support (and any half-assed attempt revealed their ignorance and ablism), they didn’t offer alternatives, or play to our many strengths, they didn’t listen as we explained our process, or even try to understand what we are experiencing.