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"They make my brain folds crawl."

MINISTRY OF SOUND TO RELEASE REMIX CD OF THEIR OTHER REMIX CDS

SHOT-PUTTER CAN'T FIND WAY TO WORK TALENT INTO EVERYDAY LIFE

BOND MOVIE TWIST FAILS TO SURPRISE

WORD 'GATE' USED TO REFER TO POLITICAL SCANDAL

JUNKIE CAR PINES FOR FUEL INJECTION

WOMAN SKEWERS TONGUE ON SPIKED DRINK

AUSTRALIAN EDITOR OF 'TIME' MAGAZINE JUST CONVERTS US DOLLARS INTO AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS

STUDENT FEELS LIKE HE'S PREPARED FOR EXAM AFTER HIGHLIGHTING PAGES RANDOMLY

30 ODD FOOT OF GRUNTS FAN SECRETLY THERE TO SEE RUSSELL

EXCEPTION FAILS TO PROVE RULE

NASA PLANS TO BE TARGET OF ONE MILLION NEW JOKES BY DECADE'S END

INTERNET FRAUD NOW NIGERIA'S LARGEST INDUSTRY

CRUISE GIRLFRIEND PRETENDS TO TAKE SCIENTOLOGY SERIOUSLY

ATHENS TOURISTS LIKE GREEKS' OLD STUFF BETTER THAN THEIR NEW STUFF

DRUGS TURN SCREENSAVER INTO ENTERTAINMENT SPECTACULAR

NEW AUSTRALIAN FILM ABOUT LITTLE BLOKE WHO TAKES ON THE BIG GUYS AND WINS